Monday, July 13, 2015

9am, Pre-Vacation Anxiety-Filled Ramblings

I have been a suck-ass blogger lately. I know this. I've been a suck-ass blogger because I've had to be a non-suck-ass business owner, homeschooler, wife, and mother lately. Which means something had to suck ass, and unfortunately, it was blogging. That's just been my reality lately.

I'm nervously typing this out because I'm anxious as hell right now. We leave for our vacation tomorrow, and while I'm super happy to see family we haven't seen in 3 years, I hate traveling. 6 hours of flights there, 6 hours of flights back, and I'm not a flying person. At all. Yes, I've acquired the necessary meds to help me fly, but it doesn't make the anxiety leading up to the flying any better, because I refuse to take the flying-anti-anxiety meds until we are actually flying. Fun how that works out.

I also have to leave my furbaby, Ariya for the first time since we got her 2 1/2 years ago. This dog is attached to my hip, and I have zero problems with that. That makes leaving her 1,000 times worse. She is getting to stay with some amazing people, who I know will treat her the way I do (like an actual child), but it doesn't make my heart hurt any less to not be around her. It's not even me I'm really worried about- it's her. Will she think we abandoned her? Will she understand we're coming back? Will she be okay? Just more to add to my *lovely* anxiety right now.

They say when it rains, it pours, and lately, you can tell it's been monsoon season here in Arizona, and can totally explain why I've been MIA lately. It started a little over a month ago when Etsy
decided they didn't like metaphysical stores anymore. Considering I own a metaphysical store on Etsy, this was a huge hit for me. They started shutting stores down, deactivating listings, and giving slaps on the wrists of items they felt violated their terms of sale.

Let me paint this picture for you real quick:
They said items like Spell Kits and spells were against their selling guidelines.
At the time, they had a category marked "Spell Kits and Religious Readings" for you, as a seller, to place your Spell Kits into to sell.
When confronted with that little tidbit of information, they said they were removing the "Spell Kits" category, therefore leaving sellers of spell kits in violation of their selling terms.

No lube on that one. Not even a slight caressing of some erogenous zones. Etsy just barebacked all of us metaphysical stores.

Many of them were shut down by Etsy. Many of them left of their own accord. And then there were many sellers who still decided to sell some inventory on Etsy, but concentrated their efforts on an actual website.

I'm in the latter group. Which meant overtime for me, transferring my inventory to an ecommerce program and launching my very own website. Websites are exhausting. I see why website designers get paid some decent moula, because I almost felt like giving up many times.

Once the website launched, I rested... for a week. Then it was time to concentrate on this vacation.

Vacations are supposed to be relaxing, right? They are supposed to help you take your mind off the mundane day-to-day bullshit and feel free.

Not for someone with travel anxiety. It's like putting us in a cage and shaking it every once in a while.

I didn't used to be like this. I've always had some flight anxiety, but it's been okay. It seems the older I get, the worse the stress effects me. I shouldn't be freaking out like this until tomorrow, when we are heading to the airport. But I've been like this all weekend.

Meditating doesn't even help. WTF, right?

I know once we get going tomorrow I'll be fine. And while we have events planned for half of the time we are home (including some amusement parks, which, again, when I was younger I would have been thrilled about- now, I'm scared to death to get on a roller coaster. No idea when that happened or why, but that's annoying as shit, too...), I'm hoping to get some relaxation in, because dammit, I deserve it!

Now's the time I need to go wake the rest of the family up and continue packing, cleaning and freaking out... oh, wait... that's just me. As if that's not enough, we have to head back to the store we went to yesterday, because Hubby's new shorts don't fit. Why didn't he try them on while we were there? "Because I'm a man, and men don't try on clothes," he told me. Why do I have to accompany him to the store to exchange the clothes he bought? "Because you do the exchanges; I don't know how," he told me. I swear, I love that man to death... TO DEATH, I tell you.

Maybe it is a good day to start taking my flight-anxiety meds. Clothing exchanges and packing and cleaning and dropping off my furbaby are all pre-flight anxiety triggers, right?

Son of a whore on Tuesday, when did I become this freaking-out adult? I don't want to adult anymore. I want to kid. Adulting is dumb...

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1 comment:

  1. I swear, you just posted about my LIFE! I just came back from vacation and it was filled with all kinds of anxiety. For me it was before, during, and after. Good to know I'm not alone on the clothes thing. The few days before I was chasing a 31 year old man, a ten year old and seven year old around the house begging them to put on clothes to ensure they fit. ...The whole time I'm like, "Why am I forcing my family to have fun when they so clearly want to fight me on the preparations?" It's sooo good to know I'm not alone in the struggle!

    -Ali

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