Wednesday, September 3, 2014

WTF Wednesday: Snooze Button Shenanigans

I'm not a snoozer. When my alarm goes off, I get out of bed and start my day. Every once in a while, if I slept for crap, or if we have to get up super early for something, I'll hit the 5 minute snooze one time, and then grumble and scramble for coffee when it goes off again.

YESSSSS!!!  Pic Courtesy
Not Hubby. He's a snooze-hitter. And we aren't talking hit snooze once for 5 minutes- he'll set his snooze for 10 minutes and hit that damn button 3 times before his feet hit the floor.

Which makes his new shift a complete bitch to me.

On a "normal" day right now, I'll get up at 6 (if The Girl has morning volleyball practice) to start my day. Hubby's new schedule has him needing to be at work at 6.

In my world, if I had to be at work at 6, I'd set my alarm for 5 and be good to go. Not Hubby. Not Hubby at all. He sets his alarm for 4:30.

4 effing 30 in the morning. I don't even think the world exists at 4:30am. Do you know what 4:30 looks like? It's darker than the 7th circle of Hell and damn sure feels like it.

Then, he hits the snooze button for 30 minutes. 30 effing minutes, and gets out of bed at 5.

Meanwhile, I'm awake at the first chirp of his alarm at 4:30. Am I able to roll over and regain unconsciousness like he does?

Oh hell no. I'm awake, wide-eyed and far from bushy-tailed, ready to punch anything within arm's reach.

Which is Hubby.

With his new schedule, I knew this would happen. I knew he'd hit snooze for 30 minutes and then fall out of
bed to start his day, while I remained in bed, pissed at the world. I begged him to just set his alarm for 5 so I wasn't so affected by his snooze-button-shenanigans. Did he even contemplate my request?

Nope. Not one bit.

He says he needs that 30 minutes to adjust to the early morning schedule. He says it helps him slowly enter the day, which is what he needs to function.

And me? I'm just getting robbed of 30 minutes of sleep; 60 minutes if you count the fact that my alarm is now set for 5:30 so I can get up and work out before I have to get The Girl up for morning practice.

I remember a day, years ago, where Hubby's early morning work schedule didn't affect me one bit; I never heard the alarm, never stirred when he got out of bed, or even cracked an eyelid when the blinding light from the bathroom slapped me in the face. My alarm would go off, and he'd already have left for work, me, having no recollection of the previous hour of him getting ready or even his goodbye kiss on my forehead.

Not anymore. Now, I'm the person whose eyes pop open at the first sound of the alarm, and the day begins to roll through my head- volleyball practice, kids' lunches, getting the kids to school, grocery lists, store orders to make and package, supply orders to submit, floors to mop, toilets to scrub, what in the hell am I making for dinner? 50,001 things rush into my brain, and once that bitch powers up, I'm a goner.

At least now I get to play the, "I'm just as tired as you, Hubby, or even a little more because I didn't get 30 minutes of snooze-button-shenanigans sleep this morning like you did" card at the end of the day when I can't keep my eyes open during one of our nightly TV shows.

I understand everyone has their own way to start their day, but damn, I seriously wish Hubby and I were both set-the-alarm-for-when-you-need-to-wake-up people. These snooze-button-shenanigans are killing me.

Definitely my biggest WTF moment of this week.

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