Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Figuring Out My Family Just Might Be Smarter Than Me

So, this bizarre conversation happened this morning between The Girl and I:

The Girl: So, Mom, what are your plans for today?
Me: Well, I'm going to drop y'all off at school, head to Fry's, do some grocery shopping, then come home, fill orders and probably make the pendulum cards and some pendulums for my store. 
The Girl: Making pendulum cards and pendulums is work, Mom.
Me: Yeah, that's what I do during the day... I work. 
The Girl: Yeah, but you work too much. You should totally lay around and play The Sims today.
Yep, the look on my face...
Me: (with a very confused look on my face) Why should I lay around and play The Sims today?
The Girl: Because you work every day, even on the weekends. You deserve a break.
Me: (starting to get very alarmed) So, you are suggesting I lay around and do nothing today because I deserve a break?????????
The Girl: (casually eating her breakfast) Yeah. You work too much. Just play today.
Me: Do you need me to play the game for you for some selfish reason... like... to get your player ahead or something?
The Girl: (laughing- which scared me even more) No, Mom. I'm playing Sims University. You're going to play Sims Supernatural, right?
Me: Uhhh... yeah.
The Girl: Yeah, I've already played that.
Me: Then why are you saying I deserve a break? I'm so confused right now as to what your motive is, or why you are suddenly saying I work too much...
The Girl: (looks up and sees the pure dread on my face) No motive. It's because you really do work too much, Mom. Sheesh. You just seriously deserve a break. Between the book, the blog,the house and your store, you just deserve some time to do nothing and play a game you enjoy.

I'm pretty sure I haven't been that scared in all my years as a mother. I'm still contemplating finding some shelter, because I'm sure the sky will start falling any second now.

Why was this conversation so bizarre, you ask?

First, I will enter into evidence Exhibit A, which is a blog post I wrote about how no one in my
house thinks I work- they think I'm always just playing on the computer. Yes, it was written almost 2 years ago, but that mentality has never gone away, that I can assure you. I just learned to accept the fact that my family doesn't acknowledge anything I do as "work".

Second, I will enter into evidence Exhibit B, which is a facebook status posted just last week, where I warned everyone of the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse because Hubby told me to do nothing that day. Hubby never tells me to do nothing. Hubby never tells me to do nothing, because he doesn't think what I do is "work" either... Which leads me to the next piece of evidence...

Exhibit C, a blog post I wrote less than 3 months ago, where I vent about how Hubby pretty much said what I do each day around the house isn't "work".

Do you now understand why, when my child tells me I work too hard and deserve a break, I get weirded the fuck out and have to write and entire blog post about it?
Pic Courtesy

Because in my house, this doesn't happen.

In my house, Hubby comes home from work, looks around, asks if I napped all day, then says, "I'm just kidding, house looks nice" and kisses me on the forehead, just in time to stop my arm from Psycho-slashing him with the knife I'm using to cut vegetables for dinner.

In my house, The Ginger gets home from school, sees Netflix on, says, "Geez, Mom, you're already on season 2 of Hemlock Grove? Is that all you do every day?" Never mind the 11 orders I made items for while I watched Hemlock Grove, to the extent that I'm not even sure I paid attention to the last 3 episodes, nor do I even have a full grasp on the show's general plot line, because it never gets my full attention (seriously is it werewolves, or vampires, or both? So confused...)

In my house, The Girl freaks out at school about being teased about her shirt, texts me and asks me to bring her a new one, which I do, and then that evening thanks me and comments, "I mean, you are a stay-at-home mom, so I would have been a little mad if you wouldn't have brought me a shirt, because what else would you have been doing?"

These are normal occurrences in my house.

Not The Girl telling me I work too hard and deserve to play The Sims all day. That's definitely out-of-the-ordinary around here.

I'm not sure what has (finally) caused this change of attitude for my family. Maybe they finally see the hard work I do for them in the form of cooking, cleaning and general running of the household. Maybe they realized I'm always on top of laundry, grocery shopping, school events, etc, so they never run out of things they need or miss important events.

Maybe they got abducted by aliens and replaced with a respectful, complimenting, understanding clone alien family. I'm totally keeping them, by the way.

Or, maybe they just like all of the new things Mom spoils them with, or the fun things we do on the weekends, thanks to the extra income "working" is now making me. Maybe now that they see the monetary gain for the family, the quotation marks around "working" can be dropped, and Mom is actually now working from home.

My money is on the last one (yes, pun intended). It's sad to say, but I'm pretty sure that's the reason. And it's even more sad to say that I'll take it. Whatever the reason for my family's new found compassion and understanding that I do actually work during the day, I will gladly accept it...

And play The Sims all day. Just after I process some orders and maybe make some pendulum cards and pendulums. So, like, tomorrow. Tomorrow I will play The Sims all day... unless, of course, more orders come in...

Okay, so maybe I'm starting to see what I'm guessing my family has already seen, and the real reason for their sudden understanding... I'm a workaholic.

I get it now.

Damn, my family is smart...

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  1. I am on the alien family side... That is totally the answer!

    1. They have all been really nice lately... Hmmm... lol!!

  2. They are so smart.

    Now go. Put your feet up. We'll be here when you get back.

    1. =) I *may* have spent a few hours casting spells, bedding a werewolf and learning alchemy today as a witch on Sims 3 Supernatural. *May* have, lol... ;)