Wednesday, July 23, 2014

WTF Wednesday: Yin/Yang Relationship at Its Finest

We are 21 days post Japan orders notification, and I'm quickly realizing 2 things:

  1. The military seriously makes you work for an overseas assignment.
  2. My husband has zero sense of humor during this entire process.
He printed out the checklist of things he has to do before he can actually get the paper copy of his orders, and it's a mile long. There are also starting dates on his checklist that date back to May 27, 2014.

Yeah, ummmm.... we weren't even notified we had orders until July 2nd, 2014. So, thanks for letting us know we should have started paperwork 6 weeks before we even knew we had paperwork to start (rolling eyes). 
Pic Courtesy

So, needless to say, we're having to do everything in double time, and for anyone who is a part of the military, you know the military does NOT work in double time.

Through all of this, I've been able to remain calm and collected, which is completely balanced out by my husband, who is freaking the hell out at every step. 

A few examples of Hubby's and my Yin/Yang thing we have going on:
  • Last week, we were outside at midnight, watching an amazing thunderstorm rolling in. I was calm, with my arms out, just soaking in all that is an awesome thunderstorm. Hubby is chain smoking, going over what he has to do the next day, and looks at me and says, "Do you not even care that we have orders?" WTF? Of course I care. "Then why does it seem like you are so nonchalant about it?" Well, dear Hubby, there's nothing I can do at midnight about our move. So, I choose to live in the moment, basking in the upcoming thunderstorm, breathing, and putting the move aside until 8am the next morning, when I can do things for the move. He came over and hugged me, apologized for thinking I didn't care, and I told him he should take a page from my book and live in the moment a little more; he'd be a lot less stressed.
  • Standing at the passport photo place on base, Hubby tells the kids and I to just "look normal". My response? "As opposed to what? Looking like a terrorist? Fine, I'll put aside my terrorist face for today."
  • We filled out passport paperwork last night- the paperwork we were supposed to have started May 27th. Hubby filled it all out, putting 'Stay-at-Home Mom' as my Occupation.
    Me: Um, can you change that to 'Writer' please?
    Hubby: Nope.
    Me: Artist?
    Hubby: Nope.
    Me: Queen Extraordinaire?
    Hubby: Nope.
    Me: Well, then, can you change my current spouse to Ryan Gosling?
    Hubby: Nope.
    Me: Someone has seriously lost their sense of humor when filling out boring paperwork...
  • Sitting outside last night, I told Hubby we should put his stress to work for us by shoving some coal up his ass, so by the time we got to Japan, we'd have diamonds. He didn't even smile. I couldn't stop laughing.
As the stack of paperwork grows, so does my sarcasm and easygoing attitude. Why? It's probably my coping mechanism, honestly. Hubby stresses, I turn everything into something funny. I don't see the point in both of us stressing, but unfortunately, because Hubby is stressing, he finds my humor annoying instead of helpfully reducing the tension.

Oh, well. He needs to learn to embrace it a little more, because with 237 more steps to go before we even get our official orders, then 598 steps after we get them, I'm sure I'll be given a lot of material to work with. 

And please don't do what he did and mistake my humor for not taking the situation seriously. Whenever Hubby tells me what I need to do to move the process along, I do it, no questions asked. In fact, today and tomorrow I have to head to the dentist and pick up our records, and head to the kids' schools to have them fill out paperwork. The kids and I keep cleaning out things that we want to sell at the yardsale or trade in at the used bookstore downtown. I'm handling all of the pet quarantine. And I am continuously researching things to help make our move easier. I just don't feel the need to stress myself out every step of the way.

Which is a HUGE difference from the way I was in the beginning of our marriage. 15 years ago (our anniversary is next week!!!) I was the one that could have made us rich by crapping out diamonds from all the tension I carried around. Hubby was the easy-going type. I guess having a few nervous breakdowns over the last decade helped me to put life into perspective. 

And now my job is to help Hubby put things into perspective before he has a nervous breakdown.

Challenge accepted.

Finding out I'm the calm and collected one during this move, instead of the stressed one, and seeing just how stressed Hubby is getting, is definitely my biggest WTF moment lately!

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  1. OH MY GAWD the shitting diamonds! I'm so stealing that...I really could have used that last summer, when we were going through hubs' FEDERAL LEVEL background, for a state peace officer job. For realz, he could totally sit next to the president on an airplane now. But he wouldn't.

    You just keep being the glue, girl. He will appreciate it once it's all over!

    1. Fingers crossed he will appreciate it... and he won't kill me first, lol.
      Steal away! ;)