But, according to Hubby, what I do each day doesn't constitute "cleaning the house."
Oh yes, I will definitely explain.
Here's a rough outline of my weekly cleaning schedule:
Monday- Straighten entire house (pick up big things, clear off counters/tables/flat spaces), sweep, vacuum and mop the floors.
Tuesday- Dust (though this usually gets done every other Tuesday).
Thursday- Deeper cleaning of kitchen counters, bedroom, vacuum stairs (again, usually every other week on that one).
Friday- Touch up for the weekend.
Each day I do a general straightening, just so things don't pile up. On the weekends I relax, and as a result, come Monday morning again, our house looks like a hurricane hit
it. It sucks, but I've come to enjoy my Monday cleaning ritual because I like seeing my house go from aftermath of a bull in a china shop to sparkly clean again.
And the smell of a newly cleaned house- heavenly.
My enjoyment of my weekly routine came to an abrupt stop after one single conversation with Hubby this past Monday, that went a little something like this:
Hubby: What's wrong with you?
Me: Nothing. Just a little tired, that's all.
Hubby: Why are you tired? When I woke up, you were lounging in the chair, watching "Lost."
Me: Yeah, lounging after having cleaned the house. It's Monday, remember?
Hubby: Umm... You didn't clean the house.
Me: What? Look around. I most certainly did clean the house. I got up at 6:30 to do it, too, so it was done before all of you woke up. It's Monday. That's what I do on Monday.
Hubby: No, you sweep and mop on Monday. That's not the same as saying you "clean the house."
Me: WHAT? Sweeping and mopping is "cleaning the house," and it's my most tiring day because sweeping, mopping, vacuuming and straightening everything takes an ass of time and sucks.
Hubby: So, you swept, mopped and straightened. That's not "cleaning the house." "Cleaning the house" implies that you clean the entire house, which you don't on Monday.
Me: So? The bulk of my cleaning is done on Monday. I set the house for the entire week on Monday. I straighten, sweep, vacuum and mop.
Hubby: Did you do the bathrooms?
Me: No, that's Wednesday.
Hubby: Then you didn't "clean the house" today. You swept and mopped.
Me: Why are you nitpicking? How about I just stop doing anything, since you don't define it as "cleaning the house"?
Hubby: I'm just pointing out that technically you don't "clean the house" on Monday; you sweep, vacuum and mop. That's not the whole house.
Me: Well, you are being a whole lot of ass right now, so I refuse to talk about this anymore.
And yes, I left the room, pretty angry.
|Why didn't I think of this sooner?|
- I began loathing Mondays and my work got progressively worse each week that went by.
- I was exhausted beyond belief.
- The house stayed nice until maybe Tuesday morning. Then I'd get really really pissed off that I had spent my entire day cleaning for absolutely nothing.
All of that got thrown up in the air and was used as target practice after that one conversation with Hubby.
Of course I can say I "clean the house" on Mondays, right? Technically, I "clean the house" every damn day of the week, but as everything is in its place and smelling good on Monday, that's the only day I actually use the phrase "clean the house."
That's legit, right? Hubby was just trolling me, right?
You don't have to clean the entire house, from top to bottom, in order to use the phrase "clean the house," do you?
Why this bothered me so much, I'm not sure. I'm really good at having Hubby's comments just roll off of me, especially when they are about the house, cooking, shopping, my exercise routine, my TV shows, the books I read, the music I listen to, what my friends and I do, what I do by myself, the clothes I wear... you know what? We'll just say everything- I'm good at having Hubby's comments about everything roll off my back. Hell, we would be here all day if I kept listing them all...
I think it bothered me because I was really happy with my cleaning schedule, and felt it was effective. I really didn't think there was any type of trolling that could be done to me about it.
Guess either I was wrong and my weekly system is flawed, or Hubby's superpower is the ability to troll any subject matter. I'm hoping for the latter.
Whichever it was, it got under my skin and gave me my biggest WTF moment of this week.
Will I keep my routine the same? Yeah, probably. I debated taking a week off completely so that Hubby could see just how much my little routine works, but then I realized when I came off my mini-strike, I'd just have twice as much work to do- and all in a day or so. Screw that.
I do have to go clean the bathrooms, though, considering it's Wednesday. Yes, it's 8 at night. I never said I cleaned first thing that day. As long as it gets done that day, I'm good.
And if it doesn't get done, then I just claim I'm moving bathrooms to Thursday, which is how bathrooms moved from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday in the first place. Brilliant schedule, isn't it?
Hubby doesn't think so...
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