Wednesday, June 18, 2014

WTF Wednesday: Sweeping and Mopping Isn't Cleaning the House??

I'm one of those people who has to have a cleaning schedule. Why? So I make sure it gets done. I straighten my house each day, but as far as deeper cleaning is concerned, I need to know that Mondays I mop, Wednesdays I do the bathrooms, and so forth. My memory sucks sometimes, too.

But, according to Hubby, what I do each day doesn't constitute "cleaning the house."

Oh yes, I will definitely explain.

Here's a rough outline of my weekly cleaning schedule:

Monday- Straighten entire house (pick up big things, clear off counters/tables/flat spaces), sweep, vacuum and mop the floors.

Tuesday- Dust (though this usually gets done every other Tuesday).

Wednesday- Bathrooms

Thursday- Deeper cleaning of kitchen counters, bedroom, vacuum stairs (again, usually every other week on that one).

Friday- Touch up for the weekend.

Each day I do a general straightening, just so things don't pile up. On the weekends I relax, and as a result, come Monday morning again, our house looks like a hurricane hit
it. It sucks, but I've come to enjoy my Monday cleaning ritual because I like seeing my house go from aftermath of a bull in a china shop to sparkly clean again.

And the smell of a newly cleaned house- heavenly.

My enjoyment of my weekly routine came to an abrupt stop after one single conversation with Hubby this past Monday, that went a little something like this:

Hubby: What's wrong with you?
Me: Nothing. Just a little tired, that's all.
Hubby: Why are you tired? When I woke up, you were lounging in the chair, watching "Lost."
Me: Yeah, lounging after having cleaned the house. It's Monday, remember?
Hubby: Umm... You didn't clean the house.
Me: What? Look around. I most certainly did clean the house. I got up at 6:30 to do it, too, so it was done before all of you woke up. It's Monday. That's what I do on Monday.
Hubby: No, you sweep and mop on Monday. That's not the same as saying you "clean the house." 
Me: WHAT? Sweeping and mopping is "cleaning the house," and it's my most tiring day because sweeping, mopping, vacuuming and straightening everything takes an ass of time and sucks.
Hubby: So, you swept, mopped and straightened. That's not "cleaning the house." "Cleaning the house" implies that you clean the entire house, which you don't on Monday.
Me: So? The bulk of my cleaning is done on Monday. I set the house for the entire week on Monday. I straighten, sweep, vacuum and mop.
Hubby: Did you do the bathrooms? 
Me: No, that's Wednesday.
Hubby: Then you didn't "clean the house" today. You swept and mopped.
Me: Why are you nitpicking? How about I just stop doing anything, since you don't define it as "cleaning the house"?
Hubby: I'm just pointing out that technically you don't "clean the house" on Monday; you sweep, vacuum and mop. That's not the whole house.
Me: Well, you are being a whole lot of ass right now, so I refuse to talk about this anymore.

And yes, I left the room, pretty angry.

Why didn't I think of this sooner?
When I became a stay-at-home-mom again a few years ago, I wanted to efficiently run the household while having optimal time to relearn myself and relax after over a year of being a single mom and doing it all. I started out cleaning the entire house on Monday, from top to bottom- the idea, I'm assuming, Hubby has in his head. You want to know what came out of that?
  1. I began loathing Mondays and my work got progressively worse each week that went by.
  2. I was exhausted beyond belief.
  3. The house stayed nice until maybe Tuesday morning. Then I'd get really really pissed off that I had spent my entire day cleaning for absolutely nothing.
Slowly I tweaked the schedule (i.e. I got sick of cleaning everything on Monday, so I put shit off until Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday), and got it to where it is today, and for the most part, I stick to it. By the end of the week, the entire house is clean, I know when the last time was that I cleaned a certain section of the house, I'm not overly exhausted and hating life, I have time to work on store stuff or meditate, and I have a schedule that I'm happy to follow.

All of that got thrown up in the air and was used as target practice after that one conversation with Hubby.

Of course I can say I "clean the house" on Mondays, right? Technically, I "clean the house" every damn day of the week, but as everything is in its place and smelling good on Monday, that's the only day I actually use the phrase "clean the house."

That's legit, right? Hubby was just trolling me, right?

You don't have to clean the entire house, from top to bottom, in order to use the phrase "clean the house," do you?

Why this bothered me so much, I'm not sure. I'm really good at having Hubby's comments just roll off of me, especially when they are about the house, cooking, shopping, my exercise routine, my TV shows, the books I read, the music I listen to, what my friends and I do, what I do by myself, the clothes I wear... you know what? We'll just say everything- I'm good at having Hubby's comments about everything roll off my back. Hell, we would be here all day if I kept listing them all...

I think it bothered me because I was really happy with my cleaning schedule, and felt it was effective. I really didn't think there was any type of trolling that could be done to me about it.

Guess either I was wrong and my weekly system is flawed, or Hubby's superpower is the ability to troll any subject matter. I'm hoping for the latter.

Whichever it was, it got under my skin and gave me my biggest WTF moment of this week.

Will I keep my routine the same? Yeah, probably. I debated taking a week off completely so that Hubby could see just how much my little routine works, but then I realized when I came off my mini-strike, I'd just have twice as much work to do- and all in a day or so. Screw that.

I do have to go clean the bathrooms, though, considering it's Wednesday. Yes, it's 8 at night. I never said I cleaned first thing that day. As long as it gets done that day, I'm good.

And if it doesn't get done, then I just claim I'm moving bathrooms to Thursday, which is how bathrooms moved from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday in the first place. Brilliant schedule, isn't it?

Hubby doesn't think so...

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  1. I think if you are the one doing the cleaning, you can choose what constitutes as "cleaning the house". I also think your hubby and my fiance should compare troll notes.

    1. Amen! I like how you think, lol. Thanks for your comment! ;)

  2. I know where you can store the broom or mop handle when you're done with it.😱

    1. And that's why you and I are friends; I've already visualized it, lol. ;)

  3. Seriously, do they NOT realize how disrespectful, hurtful and unappreciative they sound when they spew crap like that? Are the rooms you touched with a cleaning product or device part of the home you live in? Then you cleaned the friggin house!

    My husband used to say crap like that to me all the time, and it made me furious, and doubtful of my own worth as a wife & mother. I work full time, so it sucked hot donkey balls. Sideways.

    Once he finally learned how to talk to me (he comes from a very negative family, and yes, we had to learn how to communicate with each other - took some outside help!), and I learned how to hear what he was actually saying (often different than what I hear), we got on fine.

    Though, he still thinks "dirty" consists of toys on the floor and dog hair on the carpet. He never notices the counters, dust, dishes, toilets, mirrors, walls, laundry, etc...

    1. I know Hubby and I need to sit down and talk about it when I'm calm (lol), but good grief, that hurt my feelings this week. I don't think they understand what they are saying sometimes. My mom brought up a good point with it all- I don't go to his work and criticize what he's doing; I just can't get away from my workplace, lol.
      And I know Hubby's and my definition of "clean" are two totally different things. I'm just waiting for him to start seeing things my way, lol.
      Thanks for your comment. It made me smile (and breathe a little easier)!

  4. Isn't it crazy how little things like that can ruin you for days?! I clean the house once a week, Wed night into Thur morning because my husband is gone Mon-Thur. This way when he comes home Thursday it looks like everything was under control all week, I'm beautiful and a nice big meal is on the table. Really it was all a big sh&* storm as soon as he left Monday, but he doesn't need to know. Then one of his friends stopped by on a Tue and called him and ratted me out on how the house looked. He decided to surprise me and came home a trashed house, unwashed wife, and fish stick dinner...he's never done it again ;)

    1. LMAO!!
      At the beginning of the year, I was really sick- like, didn't move off the couch for a week type of sick. Nothing got done. When that weekend rolled around, Hubby saw how much effort I put into things.
      And it only took him 6 months to forget it all, apparently, lol. Fingers crossed I don't have to be sick again for a week for him to appreciate things again...