Wednesday, March 26, 2014

WTF Wednesday- This is NOT Mr.Roger's Neighborhood

There are 3 things I swore I'd never post about on this blog.

1. Religion.
2. Politics.
3. My neighborhood.

Two reasons are my own, one is a promise I made to Hubby.

I have to break that promise with today's WTF Wednesday post.

Hubby asked me when we moved to Arizona and on base, to not write about my neighborhood or our neighbors. Why?

"You're not supposed to shit where you eat," he said.

Well...

1. I'm not eating out there with them... or anything any people who live around me would ever cook.
2. When you are surrounded by shit, it's inevitable that shit happens.

After what happened this week, I don't care anymore. All my fucks have been given, and it's clear why I remain a hermit.

Monday evening, the neighbors decided to have a party. It started getting louder as the evening progressed and more alcohol was consumed, and as these were the neighbors on the other side of our duplex, we could hear everything- especially The Girl, whose window is right above their backyard.

So, considering I've reached out to the chick next door on several occasions (more on that later) and was never really received warmly, I made the calculated decision of how I wanted to handle the situation.

I chose to post on a local mom's online group, at around 8pm, and ask these ladies if anyone happened to have a copy of the neighborhood rules, and what time the noise ordinance was in effect.

I did this for 2 reasons that were all well thought out prior to posting:

1. So I would know what my rights were.
2. So some nosy woman on the list would inevitably tell my next door neighbor, who would realize they were being quite loud for a Monday night and be an adult about it, quieting down, and everything would have been done for me by some busybody.

I seriously overestimated the people in my neighborhood I was dealing with. Adult seemed to not be a word
in their vocabulary.

Without hesitation, the hothead a few doors down immediately tagged my neighbor in the post so she could read it. Come to find out a few comments later, my neighbor was not even a member of the group, but added herself just to comment on my thread.

What happened to the good ol' days where people called a friend and talked behind people's backs? Since when is it kosher to just tag a person and bring all the crap out in front of everyone to see? And what's even crazier, is I've never even had a conversation or formally met the hothead, so she saw my random post about noise ordinance and tagged my neighbor in it... stalk much?

Anyhow, someone answered that the noise ordinance was at 10, I thanked them, mentioned my kid went to bed at 9 (so the busybody could inform my neighbor), and all was good.

Guess it took about 30 minutes or so for the alcohol to kick in, because shortly after 9, the thread lit up like the sky on the 4th of July, this time, with my neighbor saying they couldn't be but so loud, because her 7 month old was sleeping just fine (oh, and she added 'Just sayin...' to the end of it... HUGE pet peeve of mine).

Okay, awesome. I sat for a few minutes and decided the high road was best, and put my phone down... until people started 'liking' her comment. Great, now I look like the crazy lady who is making a big deal out of nothing, when the party is happening outside, under my daughter's window, and not on the other side of the house where her baby is sleeping, behind a closed door (more than likely).

So, I informed her of that.

She replied that there was a huge difference between coming next door and asking them to quiet down, and posting it all over facebook.

Touche... sort of. I actually never mentioned where I live, or who my neighbor was, or any details. Connections were made by nosy women on my block. And I didn't come next door and ask because it wasn't past the noise ordinance yet.

Comments started rolling in from other women about how it's a common courtesy to inform your neighbors, especially the one in the other side of your duplex, of a party you will be having on a school night. Other commenters stated that they could completely see why I didn't go next door and say anything to the neighbors, if that's how they act.

I chose to reply that I simply asked, at 8, what time the cut off was so I would know what my rights were when the time was right. Considering it was only 9, I was fine to not infringe on their right to have a get together. Then, I went on to say that I made the decision to post on facebook because I knew some nosy woman would run and tattle to her, doing my work for me, which is exactly what happened. So, I thanked the busybody.

Umm... my sense of humor, logic and sarcasm are not met well with some. My neighbor apparently couldn't appreciate my smart-assed-intelligence.

Over the next 20 some comments that poured in, one of my friends here went off about what she's seen on this street with her own two eyes, and how hardly anyone is an adult on this street. Another person commented that maybe my neighbor couldn't handle how awesome I was (I giggled, yes).

That's when my neighbor called me rude and said I gave military wives a bad name.

Me... rude. The only 2 interactions I've ever had with the child next door (she's in her early 20s) are:

1. To return her puppy that squeezed in between the fence slats and was in our backyard. Hell, on the other side of base housing, there's a neighbor who takes your pet straight to the shelter if it ends up in her backyard. But me? I return cute little puppies to their owners.
2. To offer her some brand new baby bottles, for free, that I had acquired through extreme couponing. She had just had a baby, I had free brand new baby bottles, so I offered them to her... which she declined.

So I refused to extend myself anymore.

Puppy returner and free bottle giver... yep, I'm one rude ass mother fucker.

My neighbor then piped up and said that she never complained once when I allow my kids to run up and down the stairs all day and when I slam cabinet doors in the kitchen.

Wow, really? It's my dog running up and down the stairs all day, not my kids, but I'll be sure to ask Ariya to tip toe from now on. And it's my kids slamming cabinet doors because, well, they hate to do the dishes. But that's cool. If her only complaints are my dog and cabinet slamming, then she's living the good life when it comes to duplex mates in military base housing. The people who lived in her house before her used to fight every single day. We thought we'd have to call 911 a few times it sounded so bad. And did I mention the woman on the other side of base housing who takes pets to the animal shelter without contacting the owners first? I did? Cool, because having her as a neighbor would suck, too.

Courtesy of thatonerule.com
At this point I was out of the conversation- I chose the high road... even after the lady from across the street- who, like the busybody hothead, has never even said hello to me or met me- called me a bitch on the post.

Things finally died down (after an admin told my neighbor that she was the only one being rude), and the thread was hijacked to talk about food, just to get everyone to chill the hell out again.

Hubby came home a little while later and spoke to the guy next door, who assured him everything was cool. I guess he had words with his wife, and as Hubby and I were sitting outside in the front, talking about everything, my neighbor drunkingly staggered out front and told the few people there to quiet down because the bitch next door was going to call the cops on them. She had no idea we were sitting there until someone pointed it out to her... to which she snuck back inside her house quietly.

We have lived on this street for 1 1/2 years now and have never had a neighbor come and introduce themselves to us (except for the woman on the other side of us, and that's a whole story for another day). We've never been invited to a get together, nor have we ever had a negative run in with any of them. We've just chosen to keep to ourselves.

It was brought to my attention through the gossip ring that newcomers to the street are informed that I'm a huge bitch. Who informs them? No idea. Why? Not a clue. But I was told that the women on the street claim they have all been extremely nice to me, and wave and try and talk to me, and I just give them dirty looks and drive away. I'm sure they misinterpreted the look of "holy crap, every single child in the neighborhood is out in the middle of the street, and you women are not watching your kids, and they keep running out in front of my car, so I need to keep my eyes on the road and not on you waving at me so I don't hit your kid you aren't watching" on my face as I drive by as a dirty look. I can see how that could be confusing. I've only reached out to the chick next door, and we see how that now turned out.

This is why I'm a hermit. I've never met the women on this street, and yet to them, I'm a bitch.

You don't have the right to call me a bitch if you've never even met me. If you've met me, and I've pissed you off, then yes, by all means, call me a bitch. But there's probably a list somewhere that you can put your name at the bottom of for that one, behind all of the people I've truly angered.

I was told 13 years ago by a girl who worked for me, who later became one of my best friends, "You know, at first, you seem like a huge bitch, and you are very intimidating. But once you actually get to know you, you're really nice." 

You either love me or you hate me, I've always known that. Guess the ladies on my street chose the latter.

And I learned that, once again, I can not assume how people who claim to be adults will react in a situation. I counted on the nosy busybody to spread the word for me; I didn't count on nosy busybody having neighbor join the group just so they could tag her in my post, thus springing forth a whole new childish type of drama that my old 33 year old ass can't comprehend, including neighbors I've never met calling me a bitch.

Definitely my biggest WTF moment of the week.


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4 comments:

  1. That kind of thing irks me to no end. If you have a problem with something someone said, go ask them about it (especially if some nosy busybody tags you in an innocuous post!). Grow up and be adults, for goodness sake! Good on you for taking the high road. Much better than what my approach would've been, especially after reading the threads. I say keep on being your "bitch" self and I hope they never have to see you actually be a bitch. Their childishness will catch up to them, and you know people like that never have any real friends because they're always starting drama.

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    1. Thanks. Yeah, they'd hate it if the real bitch in me came out. ;)

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  2. I'm really enjoying WTF Wednesdays...you have such exciting WTFs...mine would be like "Every time I go to this one Target to shop a big SUV parks next to me crooked, WTF?"

    Of course, there was that one time there was some ancient dude in the Goodwill walking through the housewares with NO pants on...So I guess I get SOME WTF moments, but non like yours!

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  3. Sigh...pet peeve #1 is when adults don't act like adults! I hope all goes better in the week to come!

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