Wednesday, February 19, 2014

WTF Wednesday: How ABC Plays God with Their TV Show Characters

Warning: This post contains spoilers about the TV show "Once Upon a Time." Not current spoilers, though, so if you are caught up on the show, you are fine. I'm behind... like way behind... so my spoilers are only spoilers if you are a slack ass like me who is just now watching "Once Upon a Time." 

The kids and I are finally catching up on "Once Upon a Time," which means we're just now finishing season 1. We've finally found out who the mysterious gentleman, August Booth, who rode in on his motorcycle, really is, and it wasn't what I expected.

He turned out to be Pinocchio.

I was shocked.

Not because he was Pinocchio.

Because this man, brunette with beautiful blue eyes:

Was this ginger-headed, brown-eyed child:

WTF, ABC? Y'all are now playing God with the genetic makeup of your TV show characters?

How in the hell does a ginger-headed, brown-eyed child turn into a brunette with baby blue eyes as an adult? And don't give me some BS about hair dye and contacts- there is no logical reason for your August Booth
character to have dyed his hair or be wearing contacts; no one remembers who in the hell he is. You could have had a grown ginger-headed, brown-eyed man mysteriously walk into Storybrooke, and no one would have batted an eyelash.

But no. You cast a man with gorgeous light blue eyes (obviously not contacts, as those end up being a darker, more ocean blue) to play the part of a grown ginger with brown eyes, why? To try and make the info I remember from biology class about eye color and genetics obsolete? To anger the nerd side of me? To try and throw us viewers off the scent that August is Pinocchio, even though you introduce Pinocchio and reveal August as Pinocchio in the same effing episode? Bad ABC, bad!!

Yes, I understand that as people age, their hair color does get darker. A ginger is always a ginger, though, even if their hair is so dark orange that it looks brown. The man you cast as August Booth isn't a ginger, and never was a ginger.

But, come on, ABC. Brown eyes are brown eyes and blue eyes are blue eyes. Those don't change. That's actual DNA coding.

If you had the perfect actor to play August, then cast a blue-eyed character as a young Pinocchio. It really is as simple as that. Hell, you could have made young Pinocchio blonde haired and blue-eyed. I wouldn't have argued.

But not a ginger with brown eyes. It's genetically impossible, ABC.

And now I question why you feel the need to play God with your TV show characters.

Go back to high school biology class, ABC. Or at least get some casting agents that aren't colorblind.

Ginger with brown eyes miraculously turning into a brunette with blue eyes.

Definitely my WTF moment of this week...

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