Her post is entitled, "Almost There..." and her blog is The Daily Dose of Dahl. She's awesome, too, so I'll give you a second to go read her post, so you understand what in the hell I'm talking about in my post today. Go on. I'll be here, sipping my coffee...
Hey, there, you're back. See? I told you she's awesome. For those who decided to just keep reading my blog ("Shame, Shame, You know your name"- yes, this will be the year of the Goonies quotes, as well), the part of Brooke's post that seriously got me thinking was this:
"While it's not my intention to make fun of anyone else, nor put them down, nor make them feel badly, when you behave like a douche nozzle and I relay that in writing, perhaps 'anyone' should think a little about their behavior(s) versus jumping down my throat for putting ridiculous behavior on my blog." (Brooke, The Daily Dose of Dahl)
Amen, sista, Amen.
This is a point, as a blogger, I struggle with every single day. I see something, or hear something, or read something, that seriously pisses me off, and I want to write about it- it's in my DNA. But, as soon as I hit 'publish' on that post, I get bullied for saying what everyone else is thinking. WTF?
Apparently, just because that woman shouldn't be literally dragging her kid down the street on a kid leash doesn't mean I'm supposed to write about how she's dragging her kid down the street on a kid leash. Never mind her behavior, but I'm wrong for posting about it? Get the fuck out of town!
I teeter this fine line between writing what I want and keeping my mouth shut to save myself grief from being
bullied about it every day. I live in an area (and I'll piss some people off by saying this, I just know it, and Hubby will slap my wrist later), where people seem to do stupid things. Women ask stupid questions that make me wonder how they ever got pregnant in the first place ("My kid's not breathing. Should I take him to the ER?"). And people seem to let their kids do whatever in the hell they want... in the middle of the street... in front of my house... where the parents are nowhere to be found. But, the moment I want to write about it, Hubby stops me with, "Morgan, don't do that. These people are our neighbors. We have to live next to them." Or, I start to speak my mind, make one little statement, and the Mom Mafia gets their panties in a bunch, brands me a bitch, and suddenly, people I've never met before are having conversations about me on facebook about how they've met me and have had "run-ins" with me.
Never mind that people are letting their kids play in the middle of the street. Never mind the woman patiently waiting for a facebook response on whether or not to be a mother and take her kid to the ER. Never mind the women who have nothing better to do with their lives than gossip about me.
Never mind all of that. You're right. I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch for writing about it. I'm a bitch for pointing it out. And apparently, I'm a bitch for not looking in the other direction like everyone else does.
Yeah, screw that.
A friend of mine here, who knows what I struggle with as a writer, once told me this: "It seems to me you only write about people when they do stupid stuff, or they piss you off. Don't do stupid stuff, and don't piss you off, and you won't make the blog. It's that simple." I had to laugh, because she was right.
And, ironically enough, now she's made my blog, and she didn't do something stupid or piss me off. That's quite an accomplishment.
I'm not an overly bitchy person, I swear. I was, however, given the gift of being able to eloquently verbalize my ideas in a thought-provoking manner. Plus, I'm from the south. We can insult you right to your face and you'll think it's a compliment. But overall, I'm a writer. Aren't writers suppose to write what they feel? Aren't they supposed to make people think? Aren't they supposed to be true to themselves, and in being true to themselves, the people who are supposed to read their work will find them?
I had tentatively made a blog resolution this year to start promoting what I love and stop bashing what I hate. In theory, that idea is amazing, and something I will strive for more in 2014. But I can't keep my mouth shut when something pisses me off. I just can't. And I know my readers don't want me to. They look to me to say the things they are thinking, but are too afraid to say. They look to me to tell things like they are, not hide behind a cloak of, "I can't say that, I might piss someone off." They look to me to bring to light all of the things that make this thing called motherhood what it is- the good, the bad, the ugly, and the downright stupid. And that's what I need to do for myself, too.
So, instead, I will go by my friend's philosophy.
If you don't want to make my blog, then don't do anything stupid or piss me off.
It really is that simple.
Now that many of you think I'm some arrogant bitch who judges everyone, please understand that this is my blog. This is my place to vent my frustrations and convey my feelings. No one has made you read my blog, and no one says you have to stay. But, I will say, that if you don't understand me, you'll probably never understand me, and I'm okay with that. My friends understand me, my family understands me, my loyal readers understand me, and I'm good with that.
I want to end this post with a quote I came across, that I really liked.
"People confuse bluntness with bitchiness." ~Julia Stiles
I think, for a lot of writers, and for me, this quote rings true. Stating things matter-of-factly, or shedding light on a darkness most people don't want to see, often comes across to people in an offensive, or bitchy manner. Just because I state something in a blunt way, however, doesn't mean it's bitchy.
Not always, at least.