Friday, December 20, 2013

5 Social Media Culprits that Kill My Christmas Spirit

Normally, I'm not a Bah Humbug type of person. I'm a cheery, Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas, tinsel shooting out of my ass type of person this time of year, with the occasional, "Oh HELL no, where's the damn egg nog? They can NOT be sold out!"

Social media has killed me this year. I feel that part of my Christmas Spirit has been strangled, hung upside down and left for dead. Where I used to take pleasure in updating a facebook status, or checking out some tweets, I now find myself slamming my computer and pacing the floor just to calm down.

Let's break down some of the Christmas-Spirit-killing culprits that I'm sure you've seen on your social media sites this year...

1. 'Tis the season to donate to this charity (picture of an emaciated kid) or this charity (picture of a half dead dog) or what about this charity (picture of a child with a black eye). Yes. 'Tis the season for donating to charity, but must you post the most explicit pictures you possibly can in hopes of getting my money? Good grief, I'm scrolling through my news feed, hearing Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" in the back of my head, tears forming, thinking, "Damn, I just wanted to see if so-and-so posted their family pictures yet, but now I feel like a piece of crap for not giving over all of our money to help save the platypus." 

2. I'm broke. Hint hint. So broke. I'm so broke. Hint hint. Broke. We got it. You're broke. And you want people to send you presents or money. We're pretty much all broke nowadays, but you aren't broke enough that you don't have internet access and/or a smart phone with unlimited data to update your status 5,496 times a day telling everyone you are broke.

3. I'm so thankful right now. This organization/charity/company just dropped off presents and food for my family because we couldn't afford stuff this year. Oh, and look at this $500 television I'm getting ready to buy my husband. Wait. Hold up. You couldn't afford presents and food for your kids,
but you can afford a $200/$400/$500 luxury item? I'm not understanding here. I was under the impression that organizations this time of year collected food and presents to help those who would otherwise not have anything for the holidays. Apparently, they need to up their screening process a bit, because I'm definitely seeing "needy" people posting that shit all over facebook this year, and then turn around and post pictures of expensive stuff they are "treating" themselves to.

4. I'm offended because I was told Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays/ This old redneck guy in the deep south made an anti-gay remark/ The nativity scene was taken down/ insert random offensive-worthy action here. People are so sensitive nowadays. Seriously. Who cares if someone wished you a Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays? They aren't assuming you are Christian, they are just trying to spread a warm, fuzzy feeling this time of year. Smile and say Happy Holidays back, don't give them a piece of your mind. And this Duck Dynasty shit is on my last nerve. I've never seen an episode, nor do I want to ever see an episode, but my news feed is filled with people all shocked that an old redneck guy from the deep south doesn't condone homosexuality. Really? Y'all are shocked by this? In the town I used to live in South Carolina, interracial marriage has only been legal for about the last decade. As much as I love and miss the south, it's ass backwards. It's just a fact of life. Does it make it right? No. But it shouldn't shock people and consume their entire lives... or my newsfeed. People do offensive crap. You can stew about it, rise up to try and change it, or move on and brush it off your shoulders. I choose to do the latter with most items, or I blog to vent my frustrations, but no one has to read my blog. Everything in life's a choice, including how you choose to react to things. Always remember that.
This Christmas Troll is cute.
Your troll comments are not.
Pic Courtesy

5. I couldn't decide between this $500 video game system for my 6 year old, or this $500 video game system, so I'll just get both. So, this rant is going to shock y'all. I don't care if a rich someone is having a hard time choosing rich presents for their rich kids. If they can afford it, more power to them. What I can't stand is the endless string of troll comments that comes after someone posts a status like that. "Oh, your kids are spoiled" and "Quit your rich bitching" and "You should be thankful you can afford that stuff instead of bragging to all of us." Are all of us, at least for a second, jealous of those who have more than us? Sure, even if it's just for the split second after you read, or hear, something like this. Then you have to realize that what you read is that person's reality, not yours, and the negative comments are not needed. Would you be happier if the person was bitching about how they couldn't buy their kids anything for Christmas? The majority of people probably would be, because it makes them feel better about themselves. Vent to your friends over a glass of wine; don't become a troll and openly comment on something like that, for crying out loud. Remember what your momma taught you- "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Or, start a blog and get like-minded people to want to come hear you say not nice things, like I did. Whatever works for you.

As my Christmas wish this year, I'd like to be able to jump on social media and not want to go on a massive typing spree, killing people with my words. I'd like to keep the friends I have, not mass-delete everyone who pissed me off.

That's up there with wishing for world peace, isn't it? Good grief.

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  1. Brav-flippin'-O!!! I feel your pain and raise you one.. "Let's everyone remember the real reason for the season.." After I posted a short update about an awesome sale at Toys R Us. - We aaaalllllll know the reason for the season, enough already.
    Great post!

  2. I feel ya, sister! And I wanted to let you know that your Santa Troll caption was hilarious.