Monday, October 28, 2013

I'm Going to Judge You Hard, Really Hard

I have a confession to make.

I'm a judgmental mom.

Before you click off this post, hear me out. All moms are judgmental. All humans are judgmental. It's a fact of life. Even if you simply look at someone's shoes and think, "Good gracious, those are butt ugly shoes" you are judging that person for their shoe decision.

The key is to not let your initial judgments about someone keep you from interacting with them in a positive way.

Another key is to not walk around judging everything and everyone in your sight. No, "Damn, she did not need to wear those leggings out of the house," "Did you SEE how she was holding that baby?" or "That hair cut does not flatter her four chins" on a regular basis. Then people will judge you for being a bitch- and not the good type of bitch, either.

With all of that said, I am trying to change things in my life. I am trying to be a less judgemental person, and especially, a less judgmental mom. As I preach in my new book, "Tatted Mom's Guide to NOT Screwing Up Your Kids" what works for one mom won't necessarily work for another mom. While this is 100% true, every mom out there knows that when they see another mother do something extremely different than how you do it, a few things happen in your mind (all in about 2.5 seconds, might I add):
  1. You wonder what in the HELL that mom is doing.
  2. You wonder if you did something "wrong."
  3. You wonder if they are doing it "right."
  4. You wonder if you should be doing what they are doing.
As much as you don't want to admit it, all of those are examples of "judging" another mom, based on their mothering technique or style. Most people just brush off all of those thoughts with, "Eh, my way worked for me, so whatever," but every once in a while you get those people who want to tell you how you are doing it wrong and why you should do things their way. 

That shit gets annoying.

So, I'm attempting to just cut out the judging altogether; stop those 4 little thoughts up there before they even happen.

And just when I think I'm making some progress finding peace in different mothering styles...

I read about how some Texas mom got so pissed at her son that she (allegedly) tried to rip his junk off, then glue it back together before anyone found out. 

WTF? Seriously? Who in the hell gets so mad at their kids that they think, "Hmm, I want to rip my kid's scrotum off?" Don't get me wrong, my kids have pissed me off before, but I've never thought to physically harm them, much less try and rip genitalia off. 

Me Being Judgmental: What a HORRIBLE mother. Someone should rip her boobs off, then try and glue them back on.

Oops. My bad. Not supposed to be judging here...

Things go back to being calm and peaceful, right? No judging, keeping to myself, until I read about how...

This New York mom (allegedly) stole $300 worth of candy, hid it in her kid's stroller, and when confronted by an employee, abandoned her 1 year old and ran. $300 in cough drops, gum and tic tacs, to be exact.
Maybe they were starving? Nope. They would have stolen real food. Maybe she wanted to treat her kid to some sweet stuff because they couldn't afford to buy it? Nope. Not sure of any 1 year olds who can enjoy cough drops, gum and tic tacs. But let's forget about the stealing so we can concentrate on how she ran off and left her kid there to avoid being caught. Thank goodness they were caught and charged with a crap load of stuff, including child abandonment. 

Me Being Judgmental: Someone should make her consume all $300 worth of the candy she stole, at one time, then run from her when she starts choking.

Crap, there I go again, judging other moms. 

How about this Arizona mom who (allegedly) poisoned her two kids? Upon losing custody of her two daughters, this mom kidnapped her kids, drove them to California and poisoned them in a hotel room, afterwards, trying to hang herself with an electrical wire. I understand the grief she must have felt from losing her kids, but that whole, "If I can't have you, no one can" shit is creepy when it's about a significant other. When it's about kids, it's just disgusting, especially when you are the mother. 

Me Being Judgmental: She doesn't deserve to live. Poison her with whatever she poisoned her kids with, so she knows how they felt.

Apparently, crazy runs in the state I live in. Why do I say that, you ask? 

Because there's this mom in Arizona who got so pissed at her 3 year old daughter that she (allegedly) shoved hot food in the little girl's face, causing second degree burns. As I stated above with the mom who tried to rip her son's scrotum off, I have never thought of physically harming my children, no matter how much they pissed me off. I can't fathom how any mom can look at a 3 year old little girl and think, "I'm going to throw this hot ass food in their face, probably scarring them for life in more ways than one."

Me Being Judgmental: Thank goodness her 6 kids were taken from her. Someone needs to throw a plate of hot food in her face, after making sure it's about 100 degrees hotter than what she did to her daughter.

Even after reading all of those, and pacing around some so my blood would quit boiling, I refresh my news page to read about...

This Colombian mother who (allegedly) sold her 12 daughters' virginities. As soon as this woman's daughters turned 12 years old, she (allegedly) charged older men between $160 and $212 to take their virginity, because she needed the money to make ends meet. This one made me sick to my stomach. I'm mom trying to shield my 11 1/2 year old from sex, and this mom is shoving them out there and collecting money for it. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I don't care how tough things got, there is absolutely NO excuse for that. None. 

Me Being Judgmental: Just get rid of her. I don't care how. She need to be gone from this planet, and her children given to families who care. She doesn't deserve to be a mother.

It's hard nowadays. It's really hard to not judge other people for their parenting decisions. Do these moms above think that, at the time, their actions were warranted? They do, or else they wouldn't have committed the crimes. 

So why am I the bad one for judging them and their stupid parenting decisions?

Breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding? I don't care. Co-sleeping vs. individual beds? Don't care.

Throwing hot food into your child's face or trying to rip their genitals off? Yeah, I'm gonna judge you. Hard. Judge you really hard.

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  1. I'm right there with ya. Sometimes judgement is totally valid. xoxo

  2. Got your book in the mail today. Can't wait to read it. Will defiently do some promo for you :)

    1. Yay!! I'm glad you got it! Thanks for helping promote! Every bit helps!!