Monday, July 22, 2013

My Least Favorite Time of Year

The kids have just a little over a week and a half left of their summer vacation, so that means that we have approached...

School Clothes Shopping Time.

Someone make sure I have headache medicine, cheesecake with chocolate and raspberries, and a glass bottle of Moscato waiting on me, please.

The Ginger is easy. He hates clothes shopping, so he pulls random things off of the racks, hands them to me and says, "Can we go now?" Normally I start with him because he is so headache-free, so I figure I'll just get his shopping done and out of the way. I think I will try another strategy this year, so I end the shopping trip on a good note.

The Girl... where do I begin with The Girl? Do I start with the fact that the child is 5'2" already, skinny as a rail so she doesn't quite fit into children's sizes anymore, but trying to find a size 0 or 1 in appropriate juniors clothes is like trying to figure out what in the hell the words are to "Gangnam Style"- nearly impossible?

Or, do I start with how most clothes that actually fit her make her look 16- something I'm desperately trying to avoid, considering she's only 11?

Or, I could start with how the "style" nowadays is to wear clothes so tight that you can see parts of a human body that you don't even seen when you are making love to a person?

Or, how about how the 1980s are making a comeback, so all of the racks in the stores look like Debbie Gibson's and The Bangles' hand-me-downs?  I lived through legwarmers, neon colored skirts and shirts, high top sneakers with crazy shoe laces and the side ponytails. Whose idea was it to bring this sh*t back, and the better question is why? I can't think of one person who is proud of their childhood 80s pictures. I've never told my kids, "You should have seen how awesome I was in my jean jacket with 3 layers of shirts underneath, including a vest, my jean skirt, bright pink leggings with my blue leg warmers and my flats with the bows on them. It was amazing. Wait, let me get pictures." Never going to happen.

Or, maybe I should just focus on how the two of us just don't see eye-to-eye on clothing at all. I'm a jeans
and t-shirt kind of girl. My daughter? Skirts with leggings, the big belts and wedges for shoes. She loves the latest fashions, wants to be "hip" and "cool"- or whatever in the hell the words are for that nowadays- swagga or bling or luscious (good grief I HATE that word, yet I hear it EVERYWHERE!), and is pretty much my opposite. So, when she picks up a bright green mini-skirt, a pair of purple leggings to go underneath, a huge stretchy heart belt, a tight short sleeved shirt to tuck into it all, and either high top sneakers or wedges to go onto her feet, and shows the outfit to me with a big smile on her face, I'm showing her a pair of bootcut jeans, a tank top and a plaid shirt to go over it, accented with a pair of Chuck Taylors. Needless to say, we get nowhere and quickly.

School Clothes Shopping Time is definitely one of the times of the year I dread the most. Christmas shopping? Love it! Birthday shopping? Fun! School clothes shopping? Right up there with grocery shopping on the day before Thanksgiving and trying to go booze shopping on New Year's Eve- pure insanity.

Considering we live in Arizona where it's still 105 degrees every day, and they decided to start the school year on the first day of August instead of waiting until the temperature dropped into, oh, say, the 90s, I'll have to spend most of our shopping time explaining to The Girl the 5,486 reasons why shorts with a 1" inseam are not appropriate for her, or school, for that matter. Not that my job could be made any easier by trying to even find shorts in a size 0 with an inseam longer than 1"; those are almost as rare as finding a goose that actually lays golden eggs.

We're doing some of our shopping this week (just the kids and I), then finishing up right before the kids actually start school (as a family thing) next week. I seriously wish I didn't have to drag the clothes shopping out like this, but unfortunately it's a necessity right now. It's probably for the best, though. Two small days of shopping for the kids' school clothes will prevent my head from completely exploding because we tried to fit all of it into one day.

Headache medicine, cheesecake with chocolate and raspberries and a bottle of Moscato. I wasn't joking about that.

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  1. I don't know where this blog has been all my life, but I am absolutely tickled to have found it now. Thanks for what will now be my daily read and chuckle before work!

  2. Heeheehee! I can laugh . . . now. But I remember . . . Thinking of you, girl! :)

  3. I feel your pain, and can sympathize, thankfully we have a few weeks till school starts back here, so I can avoid the promised migraine for a little while longer, but you are in my thoughts as you hit the racks. Good luck
    <3 Kimbra @ Mommys Rambles