Saturday, June 1, 2013

Some Days We Need a Reality Show

Anyone who spends a few minutes around my family will get their fill of entertainment. I'm not sure if it's our laid-back parenting, how much personality my kids have, or how Hubby and I have just been doing this for almost 15 years now so we're just completely comfortable, or a combination of it all, but there are some days that we need a reality show. Why? Just to show those of you who don't actually know us how random and funny our home life is.

I'll set the scene for you. Yesterday morning, Hubby got off work and headed upstairs to change out of his uniform. I joined him, in our bedroom, so we could figure out our plans for the day. The Ginger was downstairs playing video games, and The Girl had a friend over who stayed the night, and they were both downstairs, too. Keep in mind, this all happened within about 5 minutes.

(Hubby lays on top of the bed in just his boxers and puts the laptop on his lap to research something, and I sat down next to him.)
Me: Don't you think you should put some pants on? The Girl has a friend downstairs.
Hubby: Yeah, but we're in our bedroom, upstairs.
Me: And? You know our kids.
Hubby: Well, shut the door, then.
Me: (Getting up to shut the door) Okay, but you still need to put some pants on.
Hubby: I just got done with a 9 hour shift on the flightline. My balls are hot. I'll put pants on in second.
Me: Fine. So, we need to go shopping for some more summer clothes for the kids, but I need to make a budget. Does The Ginger need shorts?
Hubby: (yelling) GINGER!!!
Me: Good grief. I figured you just knew since you took him clothes shopping last. 
Hubby: Yeah, I don't remember.
The Ginger: (opening the door) Yeah?
Me: Do you need shorts?

The Ginger: I don't know.
Me: (staring at him) Well, go look, please. Count the number of shorts you have and let me know.
Hubby: Count the clean and the dirty ones, too.
(The Ginger disappears, leaving the door wide open. The Girl pokes her head in.)
The Girl: Did you call me?
Me: No, your dad called your brother, but while you are here, how many pairs of shorts do you need?
The Girl: I don't know. My blue ones have a hole in them.
Me: I know that. You wanted me to sew them, and I don't sew. Remember?
The Girl: Oh yeah...
(The Ginger enters the room holding one pair of shorts and a shirt.)
The Ginger: I'll wear this today (holding outfit up). 
Hubby: Okay. So how many shorts do you have?
The Ginger: I don't know.
Me: You were supposed to count them and come back here and let us know.
The Ginger: OHHHH.... (leaves room)
(We look up to see The Girl's friend has poked her head into the room, too.)
Me: (to The Girl) Would 2 pairs be fine?
(Hubby and I realize at the exact same time that he's still in boxers with a laptop on his lap.)
The Girl: Yeah, that's good.
Me: (rushing The Girl and her friend out of the room while Hubby tries to figure out how to cover up more) Okay, 2 pairs, fine.
(Awkward silence while Hubby gets up and puts shorts on.)
Me: I told you to put some pants on.
Hubby: Well, I'm sorry. I thought we'd be okay in our bedroom.
Me: (starting to giggle) In our house? With our kids? (The giggle turns into a laugh.)
Hubby: (starting to chuckle) Well, the door was closed, too. I thought The Ginger would close it behind him...
(I burst out laughing.)
Me: (laughing my ass off) The Ginger... (more laughing) shut... (more laughing)... the door???? (I'm crying from laughing so hard at this point.) Seriously? You thought he would?
Hubby: (full on laughing now) Yeah, I guess I didn't think that one through.
(In walks The Ginger, holding 3 pairs of shorts and 2 shirts.)
The Ginger: (throwing the clothes on our bed) Here. (starts to walk out of the room)
Me: Whoa whoa whoa. What is this?
The Ginger: My clean shorts and shirts.
Me: We just wanted you to count them, honey.
Hubby: The dirty ones, too, remember?
The Ginger: (frustrated) WHAT? Why would I need to count my clothes? I thought you wanted to see what clean clothes I had.
Me: We're going shopping today. We need to know how many shorts and shirts you have so we know how many to buy you. So, go count everything, please.
The Ginger: I'm fine. I don't need any new clothes.
Me: You just don't want to count them, do you?
The Ginger: Nope.
Hubby: Well, do it anyway. Just count them...
Me: And come back here with a number, please.
The Ginger: Fine.
(The Ginger exits the room, leaving the door wide open once again, and Hubby and I just look at each other.)
Me: Some days we need a reality show.
Hubby: Yep. I agree.

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  1. Bwahahahaha! Now that is a show I'd watch!

  2. This is why I journal, because some day I want to publish a massive tome of the nutty sh!t that happens on a daily basis in my family. I mean we have to be the biggest bunch of dorks, rednecks and losers in California, seriously. Glad we aren't alone LOL!