Thursday, June 20, 2013

Did Mary Have a Lamb or a Garden?

There are times in life that you realize you went wrong somewhere when it comes to raising your kids. For me, that moment came during our weekly Family Game Night. I had acquired the game Outburst Jr, brand new, never opened, for $2 at the Goodwill- heck yes!

If you aren't familiar with Outburst or Outburst Jr, you are given a category, and your team has 1 minute to say as many things that come to mind that fall within that category. There are 10 answers on a card, and you get a point for every one of the answers on the card that your team shouts out.

By the way, we've played 4 times now, mixed up teams each time, and I'm the only one in the house whose record is 4-0. Everyone else is 1-3. They even all ganged up on me, 3 against 1, and I STILL won. Yep, that's how I roll...

The Ginger was on a team with me, and chose the card Nursery Rhyme Characters (Female). The timer was flipped, and I started...

"Mary Had a Little Lamb... Mother Goose... Jill, like, Jack and Jill, Jill ... Little Bo Peep... the Cow that Jumped Over the Moon- was that a girl? ... Old Mother Hubbard... crap... umm... the Little Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe... Little Miss Muffet... the Itsy Bitsy Spider may have been a chick... umm... Humpty Dumpty... nope, he was definitely a boy..." and by that time, my minute had passed. I looked up to find a very confused look on The Ginger's face.

"Um, yeah, Mom. You got like seven of them. You missed Mary Mary Quite Con... something, Little
Polly Flinders and the Queen of Hearts." 

"Damn, okay. And, it's Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary."

Blank stare back. I looked at The Girl. She, too, had a blank stare going.

"You know, Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, how does your garden grow?"

Blank stares.

"With silver bells, and cockle shells..."

Absolutely nothing.

"And something something all in a row. I never knew what really went there, because when I was little, my mom thought it would be funny to tell me about the version her big brothers told her to say when she was little, and that's all that ever got stuck in my mind. I grew up thinking it was 'With silver bells, and cockle shells, and them DAMN ONIONS!!' " and I proceeded to burst out laughing.

Crickets chirped from the area where my kids were sitting.

"Seriously, you have GOT to be kidding me. Old Mother Hubbard? Went to the cupboard?"


"To get her poor dog a bone? But when she got there, the cupboard was bare, so....... ???????"

"She went to the store?" The Ginger asked.
"I know, I know! She closed the cabinet door and the dog went hungry!" The Girl stated.

Holy crap, I have failed my kids. We ran through Little Miss Muffet and her tuffet, how Little Bo Peep lost her sheep, and how the Queen of Hearts had some tarts. I have no idea who Little Polly Flinders is, and I couldn't remember all of the Old Woman in the Shoe rhyme (as Hubby put it, "She had a bunch of kids or something"), so we didn't cover those. Thank goodness the kids knew Mary Had a Little Lamb and who Jack and Jill were. But the rest of them were all strangers to my kids.

"You just remember all of those, Mom?" The Ginger asked.

"Of course I do. I recited them all through my childhood."

"Oh. That's cool, I guess," he replied.

From Grandma's Nursery Rhymes
"Did I really never teach y'all nursery rhymes?" I asked my kids.

"Maybe? I don't remember," The Girl stated.

Epic fail on myself as a mother. I vowed then, that at the ages of 11 and 8, I would teach my kids nursery rhymes this summer, just out of principle. That's when The Ginger asked a very important question...

"Wait. Mary. I thought she had a lamb. Does she have a garden, too?"

Good grief.

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  1. OMG, I'm a failure too!! My kids don't know those rhymes at all! They know itsy bitsy, and twinkle twinkle, but definitely not Mary Mary Quite Contrary, Little Boy Blue, that one about the black birds baked in a pie.. not Mother Hubbard, or Simple Simon.. what have I been teaching my kids?! I remember I used to have a whole book of Mother Goose. I'll have to ask my mom is she still has it and get my kids studying this summer!
    Luckily my youngest is only three.. there's still time!

    Oh, and it's pretty maids all in a row.

    Thanks for a great post!

    1. There is still time for you, Nichole, lol. Don't forget Hey Diddle Diddle, either. Very crucial, cows jumping over moons. ;)

      Wait, are Pretty Maids flowers, or is she planting humans? Hmmm... LOL!

      Thanks for your comment!

  2. Bwahahahaha! I love your family! "The cupboard was bare. so . . ." "She went to the store?" and "Damn Onions!" Oh, I'll remember these forever!!!
    And Mary DID have a little lamb. Except when she felt contrary. Then she liked to garden . . .

  3. Your blog makes me smile.. love it - thank you for sharing!

  4. Mary's got everything. I'm so envious. :)

  5. Oops! I'm a bad mom, too! I'd probably get a shoulder shrug from my son. BUT I ROCKED THE PRESCHOOL SONGS when he was a tot! No one can touch me! Ha! "Itsy Bitsy Spider", uh huh, "When You're Happy and You Know It", that's right! See what you started! LOL!