Tuesday, May 7, 2013

If Laziness Had a Taste, It Would Be Minty Bread

About a month ago I made soft tacos for dinner one night. I ended up having a tortilla-less taco salad while the rest of the family enjoyed soft tortillas. As we started chowing down, The Girl got a funny look on her face.

The Girl: Mom, why are the soft tacos minty?
Me: Um, they aren't. They are soft tacos.
The Girl: No, seriously, they taste minty.
Me (rolling my eyes): Well, then think of it as a bonus. Instead of having taco breath later, you'll have minty fresh breath. Now eat.

A few minutes went by, and Hubby had finished making his tacos.

Hubby: Hey, why do the tacos taste minty?
Me: Holy crap, they aren't minty. Mine tastes just fine.

That's when we realized that mine tasted fine because I didn't have a tortilla- a tortilla that we store on top of the fridge... in a container that used to be home to the candy in the house... that still had minty gum in the bottom of it.

Me: Well, considering I don't eat a lot of bread or tortillas, I suggest one of you puts the gum in the candy jar so we don't have minty bread in the future. Got it?
Hubby and The Kids: Okay...

Fast forward to this morning. Hubby's work schedule for the last month has made it to where when he gets home from work in the morning he just makes the kids' lunches for school. This morning he got hung up at a meeting, so I had to make their lunches. As I reached for the bread on top of the fridge, I all of a sudden smelled mint. I pulled the bucket down...

Bread laying on packs of minty gum- Hmm, I wonder
why the bread is minty??? Duh.

Over a month ago I advised the other members of the family to do one small thing and no one did it. Hubby
wondered why he came home from work and I was in a bad mood. I smelled the bread package itself- mint,  and strong at that.

I think the thing that gets me the most is apparently the kids have had minty sandwiches for lunch for a month now, and no one bothered to say a thing. I seriously don't eat a lot of bread (unless it's fresh baked, then I smother the hell out of it with butter and go to my happy place), and considering I'm only 5'5" tall, I can't smell things on top of the fridge.

I learned several things by this simple Minty Bread story:
Close up of why we have minty bread.

  1. My family doesn't listen to a word I say.
  2. If I don't do something, it doesn't get done.
  3. Apparently minty bread doesn't taste as bad as it sounds because no one has spoken up in a month of having minty bread sandwiches.
  4. Don't throw your bread into a container with minty gum in it.
  5. If laziness had a taste, it would be minty bread.
After I got done making the kids' sandwiches, guess where the bread was put? Right back into the minty gum container and back on top of the fridge. It's not my job to go around behind everyone in this house and fix their screw ups. If they want minty bread sandwiches, then sobeit. 

When Hubby got home and I pulled down the container to show him, his response to me was:

"Well, the damage was already done with the minty soft tacos that night."

Are you effing kidding me? What about the last month of minty sandwiches or toast? Holy crap. That's when I told him that he and the kids were getting blasted on my blog today. He shrugged his shoulders. Figures.

When the kids get home, I'll show them my blog post along with the minty bread container. I'll advise them, once again, to put the gum into the candy jar so they no longer have minty bread sandwiches. If they do it, I'll be proud. If they don't do it, it won't surprise me. 

And for once, everyone's laziness doesn't really affect me, thank goodness. If they want to continue eating minty bread sandwiches, then that's fine with me. I'll just start putting more of their food into the gum container to teach them a lesson about laziness. 

Minty bread... minty fruit snacks... minty chips... minty cereal in the mornings. Hell, I'll even buy more gum to just put around all of the food in the house that isn't mine. Suckers.



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5 comments:

  1. Holy crap that is funny and something my family would totally be guilty of!

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  2. Mmm I love mint. I don't know how I feel about mint tacos though. Sounds kind of yuck. You would think they would learn their lesson? lol

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  3. Lol! It doesn't bother them too much just the mint tacos. Lol that is definitely something my mother would do with us growing up. If she told us once and we didn't do, she left it there until it was done. Don't worry they'll come around soon. Because we sure did....after a long while.

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  4. Eventually someone on Pinterest will decide mint tacos are the next snooty "I'm better than you because I put gum in my bread box" fad.

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  5. HAHA, I had a similar situation happen to me. Although, it was meat on top of our ice and made the ice taste really funny. Once we all realized it was meat making our ice taste funny, we assumed death was the outcome. But we're alive!

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