Thursday, May 30, 2013

6 Lies We Stay-at-Home Moms Tell Ourselves (And Other People)

I've heard it all before: stay-at-home moms with endless excuses, reasonings, logic and lies that we tell ourselves (and other people) of how and why we are the exceptions to many social norms.

"I'm too busy as a SAHM to be able to do that during the day."
"People should understand because I'm a SAHM."
"Well, that's easy for her to do because she's not a SAHM."

Ladies, it's all bull. It really is. Now, if this is your first time at my blog, know some background about me. I'm currently a stay-at-home mom. My kids are in school (ages 11 and 8), so while yes, I do have more time during the day to get things done than a mom with 2 toddlers at home, understand that I was once a SAHM to a newborn and 2 1/2 year old; to a 1 year old and 3 year old; to a 2 year old and 4 year old. So, I've been there, done that, and yes, I got the freaking t-shirt.

Over the years I have developed some big pet peeves of things I've heard come out of the mouths of other stay-at-home-moms, or things I've seen with my own two eyes. And as a woman who lived this life and still lives this life, yes, I feel I am more than qualified to voice my opinions.

Now, please keep in mind that these pet peeves apply to everyday stay-at-home moms with no extenuating circumstances. Moms with twins, triplets or more kids that are the same age- exempt. Moms with 4+ kids- partially exempt. Moms with special needs kids- exempt. Moms who homeschool- exempt. Y'all are more than pulling your share of stress and craziness, so my heart goes out to y'all.

For the rest of us, brace yourselves- I'm sure something on this list will get under someone's skin.

6 Lies We Stay-at-Home Moms Tell Ourselves (And Other People)

1. "I Don't Need to Shower"- I've heard it so many times before. "I'm just a SAHM, I don't need to shower everyday" or even worse, "I'm a SAHM to a newborn/toddler/teenager- I don't have time to shower during the day." Ladies, showering on a regular basis keeps you feeling human. It revitalizes you and gives you even just 10 minutes to yourself to recharge. And if you have 1 child at home and are a SAHM- you

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Fine Line Between Scaring Our Kids and Scarring Our Kids

This past weekend was not only the kids' first weekend of summer vacation, but also Hubby's 4 day weekend due to Memorial Day. We decided to stay at the house all weekend, grill out and have a movie marathon. What movie series did we choose? The Harry Potter movies? The Star Wars saga? Indiana Jones?

Nope. Thanks to Hubby's and my stellar parenting, we chose the Scream movies for our 11 year old and 8 year old to watch. And let me tell you now, they LOVED them!

The kids have been begging us for some time now to watch horror movies. The Girl is the ringleader of this mission, of course, but she has asked to watch everything from the Nightmare on Elm Street movies to the Chucky movies to Stephen King's IT.

We almost gave in to IT. We are very close. Hubby and I were both scarred by that movie when he was about The Girl's age and I was about The Ginger's age, so we figured it was time for our kids to be scared of creepy clowns for the rest of their lives, too. Then we remembered that it was a mini-series, and of the 3 hours of bad late 80s hair and clothing, there was only about 30 minutes of scare-factor time. That could wait for another weekend, or a random Tuesday afternoon. We needed scare moment after scare moment.

So yes, we chose the Scream trilogy (let's face it, the 4th one was crap). Many of you will see nothing wrong with our decision. The kids can see more violent things just watching the news one night or heading to Yahoo! to see the latest happenings in the world. I also understand that there are many of you who can't believe we showed a bloody, gory horror movie to our 11 and 8 year olds, much less 3 of them.

Well, we did. And like I said before, the kids loved them. For Hubby and I, we are pretty open with our kids when it comes to movies. As long as there is no nudity, sex, extremely gruesome gore and horror (think

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Guy Stuff That I Wouldn't Know About

Hubby, The Ginger and I were on our way home from taking Ariya to get her rabies shot, and the subject of
when I was a tattoo apprentice somehow came up.

The Ginger: Mom, what's an apprentice?

Me: It's a person who is learning a job or career from someone else. Like, I was learning how to tattoo from Mike, so I was his apprentice.

The Ginger: Oh, okay. Like Starkiller is Darth Vader's apprentice?

Me: ...........................

Hubby: Yep, just like that.

The Ginger: Yeah, Mom, that's guy stuff. You wouldn't know about that.

Touche, Ginger, touche.

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Friday, May 24, 2013

Put that Spice Back into Your Love Life!

Spicy Subscriptions Review and Coupon CodeEvery now and then, a company contacts me about doing a review of their product, and I don't even hesitate to reply to their email with a YES! Spicy Subscriptions was one of those companies.

I've done subscription box reviews before, but this one is unlike any other. The subscription box premise is the same: Basically, you head over to Spicy Subscriptions and choose between their Premium Spice Box and their Deluxe Spice Box, and each month you automatically get mailed these goodies. You receive different products each month to try out, some sample sizes and some full sized products. So what makes this subscription box service different than any other I've reviewed?

They send you sex stuff in the mail. And because you have no idea what you are getting, it's like it's Sex-mas every single month.

That's right. I said Sex-mas. That's an all sex holiday. Fun sex. Fun sex with fun things that Spicy Subscriptions sends you. Every month.

They sent me one of their Deluxe Boxes to review, and it contained full sized bottles of Sensual

Thursday, May 23, 2013

14,000% is a Tough Statistic to Grasp

Y'all know I rarely get political or religious on my blog. Those topics, to me, are extremely personal and entire wars have been started over them, so it's stuff I generally shy away from...

Until the topic ends up in my backyard... literally.

For those of you who follow Inklings on facebook, you already know that we had a cop show up at our door last night asking if we had heard a gunshot. The Girl and I had just gotten home from making an ice cream run, but when Hubby heard me say, "Gunshot?", he jumped out of his chair and flew to the door, saying, "About 30 or 40 minutes ago? That was a gunshot? Yeah, I heard it." That's when the officer asked to come inside to talk to us about what happened.

Apparently, the people who live behind us called the cops about an "accidental firing" of a gun inside their home. The bullet went through their exterior wall (we can see a huge exit bullet hole on their second floor) and down into our patio porch in the backyard. Because The Girl and I had gotten home just minutes before the cop arrived, and Hubby wasn't sure if what he heard was a gunshot, this story slapped me in the face, and hard.

What if my kids had been in the backyard playing? Tears started to well up in my eyes almost immediately, and I had to excuse myself to the upstairs while Hubby took the cop out back to look for a bullet hole in our home. Sure enough, they found one, plain as day.

The thing is, we know the people who live behind us. Hubby works with the guy and is friends with him. We've been to their house for a cookout. They are good people. Responsible people. Careful people. Hubby has tried, since the incident, to get in touch with him to find out what in the hell happened because we

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

A (Lone) Mom's Flip Side to Summer Vacation

Tomorrow marks the kids' last day of school. Yep, they are out for the summer and it's just the end of May
(they'll start back up again on like August 2nd or something crazy like that). At this point I should be panicking, locking myself in the closet with a bottle of wine and cheesecake, and figuring out what the quickest route to some xanax would be, right? I mean, that's what all of the other blogs out there are saying about the fast-approaching summer vacation, right?

Y'all mark your calendars now, because I'm sure in about a week's time, I'll be eating these next words...

I'm actually looking forward to my kids' summer vacation. 

Yep, you read that right... looking forward to it. Why? Have I lost my mind? Do I need to be committed? I just told the entire world I was looking forward to summer break; to days filled with loud voices and constant bickering; to never having a moment alone for the next 2 1/2 months; to always being on Mom Duty. But I really am, because...

I like my kids. There, I said it. In the sea of mom bloggers who are gearing up to bitch and moan about summer break and how much their kids will drive them crazy, I stand here, probably alone, saying that I'm okay with all of that because I genuinely like my kids.

Now, we're not talking love here. Of course I love my kids. I will always love my kids. That's what a mother does. But we don't always have to like our kids. Kids push buttons and annoy the hell out of you. They are whiny and disrespectful at times. None of these qualities have us liking our children every second of every day. Love- yes. Like- not necessarily.

But, overall, I really do like my kids. They have amazing personalities, I can have actual conversations with

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Bacon-Wrapped Cheesy Stuffed Peppers on the Grill (Perfect for a Memorial Day Cookout!)

Hubby and I decided to experiment with food and the grill this weekend. Some guy at his work had brought in some bell pepper boats with a little bacon on them, but that small amount of bacon didn't do the dish justice, so we decided to create our own. And, as Hubby loves to grill out on the weekends, we gave that a try, though these can also be cooked in the oven with no problems.

They turned out amazing! From start to finish, the whole process took about 30 minutes, which isn't bad for how awesome they looked and tasted! I don't think we'd change a thing about the recipe, though I do have pointers throughout the directions below for y'all!

With Memorial Day next week and summer just around the corner, these make a perfect addition to any cookout!

Bacon-Wrapped Cheesy Stuffed Peppers On the Grill

Friday, May 17, 2013

Being a Bitchy Mom

Hubby has been on a crazy schedule lately, and on many evenings, the kids and I have to fend for ourselves as far as family entertainment is concerned. While I stick by my decision that there will be no family jousting tournament held in the living room without Hubby present, it leads to evenings where the kids and I can watch stuff on TV that Hubby would rather staple his own eyelids shut than watch...

... like Nanny 911. Oh yes, the kids and I LOVE this show. And Wife Swap. There's just something about watching completely outrageous families and their crazy behavior that my family absolutely loves.

I came to realize after watching these shows that I'm the right amount of bitch to never have to worry about my kids being disastrous enough for Nanny 911, but not bitchy enough to make it on Wife Swap. What's up with that?

I watch these women on Nanny 911 and I see how absolutely different I was as a mother of young kids than they are. Yes, I understand these shows only get the extreme cases to keep viewership numbers high, but I sit back now and really look at how I could have probably been called a really bitchy mom when my kids were younger... or hell, even now.

For one, I love my personal space. LOVE IT. Yes, I held my children as babies, yes, I still hold my babies to this day if they want to be held. Yes, my kids have slept in the bed with me, but hell no, they did not sleep with me a lot. The kids and I watched an episode of Nanny 911 last night where the mother hadn't slept in her own bed since her son was born... and he was 5 years old. She slept with him in his bed while the family dog took up residence next to the husband in bed. Oh HELL no, I love my bed too much. And how am I supposed to get my freak on with a kid in the bed? Oh double HELL no.

Now pause for a second. I'm not speaking ill of attachment parenting in any way, shape, or form. I'm just

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Easy, Cheap and Healthier Alternatives to Sodas for Your Kids (and Energy Drinks for You!)

With summer coming up, I can just hear my kids now... "Mom, can we just get some soda at the grocery store, PLEASE?" I'm not a big fan of soda. The sugar content is astronomical and the caffeine has my kids bouncing off the walls for hours.

So, imagine my surprise when I got this little tip on one of my shopping apps today. I'm seriously hoping I'm not the only one who smacked myself in the forehead and said, "Why didn't I think of that?"

Enter the players: Seltzer water and those little drink enhancers that are all the rage right now. My kids and I love those things, but we've always used them in regular water. Not anymore...

Don't smack yourself too hard. It hurts. I speak from experience.

In my opinion, there are so many amazing things about combining seltzer water with these drink enhancers:

  1. It's cheap. A 2 liter bottle of seltzer water is $1 and each of those drink enhancers are $3 or below,

Monday, May 13, 2013

10 Things that 12 Years of Motherhood Has Taught Me

With another Mother's Day under our belts, I want to share with you all some of the wisdom I've acquired over the last 12 years of being a mom.

1. Girls are awesome when they are younger. Then they turn into hormonal pubescent witches on brooms as they age. On the flip side, boys are nothing but mud pies, smelly underwear and fits of outrage when a lego building collapses when they are younger, and as they get older, they become less of a chaotic migraine.

2. Ramen is an acceptable meal at any time of day.

3. Laundry is always handed to you at 10pm on Sunday night with pleas of "But I have NOTHING to wear to school tomorrow."

4. It is our job, as parents, to teach our kids "Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin layed an egg, The Bat Mobile lost a wheel and Joker got away, " as kids nowadays are not taught that in schools by their peers during the holiday season.

5. Rock still beats scissors, Scissors still beats paper, Paper still beats rock, but now there's a bomb that blows up everything... or my kids cheat at rock, paper, scissors. That could be it...

Friday, May 10, 2013

Quantifying Love: A Mother's Day Infographic

Some peeps over at FTD sent me this infographic to share with y'all. I have to say I was shocked by this one. 47% of moms say they should be bought a gift on Mother's Day. I'm good with bacon and coffee in bed... and maybe a foot rub. ;)

Hope y'all enjoy it! Share it with other moms you know! There are twitter, facebook and pinterest buttons all around the post!

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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

If Laziness Had a Taste, It Would Be Minty Bread

About a month ago I made soft tacos for dinner one night. I ended up having a tortilla-less taco salad while the rest of the family enjoyed soft tortillas. As we started chowing down, The Girl got a funny look on her face.

The Girl: Mom, why are the soft tacos minty?
Me: Um, they aren't. They are soft tacos.
The Girl: No, seriously, they taste minty.
Me (rolling my eyes): Well, then think of it as a bonus. Instead of having taco breath later, you'll have minty fresh breath. Now eat.

A few minutes went by, and Hubby had finished making his tacos.

Hubby: Hey, why do the tacos taste minty?
Me: Holy crap, they aren't minty. Mine tastes just fine.

That's when we realized that mine tasted fine because I didn't have a tortilla- a tortilla that we store on top of the fridge... in a container that used to be home to the candy in the house... that still had minty gum in the bottom of it.

Me: Well, considering I don't eat a lot of bread or tortillas, I suggest one of you puts the gum in the candy jar so we don't have minty bread in the future. Got it?
Hubby and The Kids: Okay...

Fast forward to this morning. Hubby's work schedule for the last month has made it to where when he gets home from work in the morning he just makes the kids' lunches for school. This morning he got hung up at a meeting, so I had to make their lunches. As I reached for the bread on top of the fridge, I all of a sudden smelled mint. I pulled the bucket down...

Bread laying on packs of minty gum- Hmm, I wonder
why the bread is minty??? Duh.

Over a month ago I advised the other members of the family to do one small thing and no one did it. Hubby

Sunday, May 5, 2013

10 Mom Super Powers

As soon as we become mothers, we suddenly develop an array of super powers that only moms have. 

I paired with Where Have All The Grownups Gone? to create this infographic for y'all. She had a post earlier this week about the super powers she developed as a mom. Great list!!

Be sure to share this picture (easy Pinterest, facebook and twitter buttons below post) with other moms you know, and add your own Mom Super Powers in the comments below the post!!

10 Mom Super Powers

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#InklingsPhoto Challenge For May

I changed things up this month to make it a little easier to take pics each day. There are weekly themes instead of daily subjects! You can upload at the end of the week to the facebook group, or daily. If you have Instagram or Twitter, be sure to #InklingsPhoto when you post, and you can tag me, @tattedmom81 so I can see them!!

Happy shooting everyone!

InklingsPhoto Challenge for May

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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Tips for Finding (Lasting) Mom Friendships

If you tuned into Inklings yesterday, you read the first part of this 2 part post, Guaranteed Friendship Deal Breakers, where I covered 5 different types of people or scenarios that you should run in the opposite direction from if they show up in your life. The 5 things I listed from my personal past were definitely not friendship material.

I learned some very valuable lessons through these failed friendships, and as each one crashed and burned, it helped me weed out the qualities that make a friendship work. I started to look at the lasting friendships I had formed since becoming a mother (because let's face it- it's a little harder for us moms to find friends we click with), and have put together a list of a few things that helped me.

7 Tips for Finding Lasting Mom Friendships

1. Pick other moms. All of the crash-and-burn friendships I've ever had have been with non-mom friends who were single. For me, I can honestly say that trying to be friends with someone who doesn't have kids is a lot harder than being friends with another mom. You seriously argue with yourself and say that you can be friends with a non-mom or single person, but my track record proves itself, so I don't fight it anymore. The people back on the east coast that I'm still friends with and have been friends with for years- all moms. That's why I hate being a military wife some days- I still want the gay guy friend, but it would work better if he was the stay-at-home-dad type as my next door neighbor, and that's not going to happen any time soon. Dammit.

2. Stay within your crazy level. Honestly rate yourself on a crazy scale from 1-10 and pick friends at the same level of crazy as you. If you go below your own crazy level, there's a chance they will dump you as a