Monday, April 1, 2013

Or, On Second Thought...

Almost 14 years I have been married to Hubby. We've been together for 16. After this long, there are some
days that I have to continuously repeat to myself,"You love this man. Your life sucked without him. You love this man. You can not go to prison for murder."

This morning's conversation was a prime example of the above.

Me: Honey, I'm tired of my clothes not fitting. It's time for me to get back to MILF status. I don't want to be this frumpy housewife anymore.
Hubby: So do it.
Me: I will, thank you. (I turned around to see Hubby playing a game on his phone.) You don't care one way or another, do you?
Hubby: Not really.
Me: That's true. You'll bang me no matter what, huh?
Hubby: Sure.
Me: Holy crap, you aren't even paying attention, are you?
Hubby: Yes. MILF status. Bang you.
Me: Ok, good. The Girl is going to be at that age in a few years where she has boys over, and I want them to look at The Girl and say, "Hey, your mom is hot," not because it would mean anything, but just to know that I'm a hot mom, you know?
Hubby: Or, on second thought, you could take one for the team and make my life easier in the long run.
Me (confused look on my face): What do you mean?
Hubby: Well, if a guy wants to know what a girl is going to look like in 20 years, he just looks at her mom. So, if you are all hot and a MILF, then we'll have guys lining up at the door to date The Girl. If you go ahead and get really fat and gross looking, then no one will want to date her, saving me a lot of time and effort scaring them away.
Me: Umm.... no. 

I love this man. My life sucked without him. I love this man. I can not go to prison for murder.

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1 comment:

  1. Hahahahahahahaa!!!! Totally something my Hubs would say! HOT MILF STATUS! I'm working on that too!