This topic will be divided into 2 sections: Guaranteed Friendship Deal Breakers and Tips for Finding (Lasting) Mom Friendships, each with its own post. When it comes to the Guaranteed Friendship Deal Breakers, I am pulling these directly from my past... Couldn't make this s*it up if I tried. If you ever happen to come into contact with any of these types of people or scenarios, run in the opposite direction- and quickly.
1. The VooDoo Queen. Years ago, I owned a new age store. Think fairies, crystals, herbs, tree hugging, incense and candles, and that was my store. I met this woman through the store that was a bit of a loner. We quickly became friends (seeing as I was a loner, too), and hung out every weekend. When I started
2. The Gay Wizard. I love gays. Absolutely adore them. So, when one ventured into my shop one day (yes, again with the shop- you meet crazies at a new age store, let me tell you) and we ended up talking for
hours, I was hooked. Hubby was slightly uneasy about all of the time I spent with this guy, but he was gay, and a flamboyant one, so I just dismissed Hubby's worries. Things at home because tense because of the
3. The Disappearing Addict. Bored one day at the shop (yes, again with the new age store- I should write a book about the stories I have from owning that place), this girl flew in, yelled out, "Thank GOD" and began buzzing around the store, throwing items up on the counter to purchase. Now, I was a $500 a week store, maybe $800 if I got new inventory in or ran a hell of a sale. Her total merchandise for that day came to
4. The Drama Queen. Contrary to the stories above, I did not meet this one in my store. I met her when she became roommates with the guy I was seeing while Hubby and I were separated. You know that whole 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer' thing? Yeah, chalk this friendship up to that. The guy and I were keeping things on the down-low for a few reasons, but she quickly put the pieces together and had a heart-to-heart with me about how I didn't need to worry about anything between them. We became friends, and when things started to go sour between the guy and I, she was there to lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on, and volunteer information about his latest shenanigans. Keep in mind I said volunteer- she said she wanted to help me out, and as I knew she'd be thrown out of his apartment if he found out she was feeding me information, I couldn't ask her to spy. They were friends just like she and I were friends, and I respected that. She continued to give me information, saying she was trying to help us out, and I thought she was doing me a solid as my best friend. Come to find out, behind my back she was lying and manipulating both of us (the guy and I), and when we'd go at each other's throats over stuff she told each of us, she'd sit back and laugh about it. We had no idea what was the truth and what were lies, and she relished every minute of it. In the end she found herself pretty alone and reached out to me in an attempt to mend the friendship. I told her it was in the past and we'd do lunch sometime, then I ignored her texts and emails. Yes, false hope was a bitch move, but it's what she did to me for months, so I'd say we're even now.
5. The Jackass Boyfriends. If you've been a reader of Inklings from the beginning, you'll remember Z. She
In writing all of this out, I'll admit now that I pulled some pretty big bitchiness out of my ass when it came to these people. Call it hurt, call it anger, or call it simply that I'm a bitch. However you want to look at it is fine with me, honestly. I wouldn't wish these types of friends on anyone, not even my worst enemy (okay, maybe my worst enemy, but she's freaking crazy), but I guess if you look on the bright side of things, the chances of any of you having this horrible of a track record with adult friends is pretty slim to none. I'm lucky I even trust another human being enough to attempt the friendship thing again. I did learn some very valuable lessons that I've carried with me through the years though, that's for sure.
Like I said in the beginning, this topic will be separated into 2 sections, so for the advice I've learned over the years, head to Part 2 of this segment: Tips for Finding (Lasting) Mom Friendships.