Wednesday, April 3, 2013

5 Reasons (From the Past 2 Days) That I Should Not Be Allowed to Interact with the Outside World Before Coffee

Everyone who knows me knows I'm a coffeeholic. I'll have a huge jumbo cup in the morning, a midmorning
Coffee Person E-Card
cup, an afternoon cup, and sometimes a cup of decaf at night. I don't even drink water unless it has been ran over some coffee beans at a high temperature. Yes, I know it isn't healthy, yes I know it's an addiction, but considering I don't smoke anymore, don't do drugs and drink wine on occasion, I need a vice, dammit.

With that said, I've found out, just in the past 2 days, why I need to have a coffee IV inserted and should not have interaction with the outside world until I've had at least one cup.

5 Reasons (From the Past 2 Days) That I Should Not Be Allowed to Interact with the Outside World Before Coffee

1. I ran my own credit report. Yes, before I had coffee and the brain cells functioning to tell me that would be a horrible idea. Nothing says "Good Morning" like finding out the lawyer you talked to a few years ago about the mountains of debt you are in because of a store you owned that went under, should probably retire and no longer give advice on money. He told me the statute of limitations on credit debt in South Carolina was 3 years, so I've been counting down to 2013. Come to find out, the statute of limitations on credit debt is based where the home office of the company is located, and Yay Me, they are all located in states where the statute of limitations is 6-7 years. How's that for a morning wake up? Now I have to actually do something about all of this crap, which means finding a lawyer who wasn't practicing law when Abraham Lincoln was president.

2. I gave a telemarketer my consent to have other telemarketers call me. The other day I was
searching business classes and degrees I could get online. I happened to be searching from my phone, so when I typed in my zip code and stuff to this one site, they logged my phone number (it was on an app). Today they called (for facebook fans, that was the 6am call from Texas that woke me up- the bastard), and in a pre-coffee state, I told them to go ahead and give my information to 3 online colleges... who have been calling nonstop since I got off the phone with that guy. I wasn't looking to go back to school right now, and any information these people have, I can find online. So, I should not be allowed to answer the phone before I've had coffee.

3. I wasted all of my coins on 4 Pics 1 Word. I couldn't figure out the easiest pictures on that game, so after wasting all of my coins to have letters put in and letters taken out, I had to consult my facebook friends to get through a few rounds. Pretty pathetic when the word is ADDRESS and there's a picture of a mail box with a letter, an email, the URL bar for the world wide web and a person giving a speech. No coffee = No 4 Pics 1 Word.

4. I consented to The Girl bringing a friend home from school. Yeah, this one just hit me about 5 minutes ago. I vaguely remember her asking me if a friend of hers could come home with her after school and stay for a few hours. Normally this is no problem, but I don't like committing myself to things before I have any idea what my day will entail. The last time I did this with The Ginger, his friend's mother said she'd be running errands for "a few hours" which turned into 6 hours. So, I made a promise to myself to never commit myself to anything without getting the full details... which apparently flies out the door before I've had my coffee.

5. I agreed that an apple or a banana is an acceptable breakfast. Gone are the days where breakfast is bacon, eggs and toast. My kids are cereal and pop tarts people, but apparently yesterday morning I said that a simple apple or banana is suffice for their day-making meal. Honestly, I'm not sure if I did say this, but usually The Girl doesn't like to eat breakfast at all, so if I did say that, it was born out of a desire to have her eat something before she went to school. Now The Ginger, who is usually fine with his morning bowl of wheat and marshmallow mixed food filler, has requested to only eat a piece of fruit as well... to which I apparently agreed.

I guess the past two mornings could have been worse. I could have handed over money for no reason like The Ginger attempted with me this morning. I could have lost a finger cutting their sandwiches. I do think, though, that the kids know I can't fully function without my coffee and they take advantage of it. I know The Girl does (hence asking if her friend can come home with her), and I'm pretty sure The Ginger is catching on, as he asked yesterday if he could play the playstation when he got home from school. I might be half awake and lacking full brain function, but I know that answer is No.


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6 comments:

  1. Do you think there is a Coffeeholic meeting? I'm right there with you for morning, mid-morning, and afternoon cups! Everyone at work can tell when I've had too much or not enough.

    I've had similar experiences... I gave auto insurance people permission to call me before I had enough coffee to realize what I was doing. This was six months ago and I STILL get auto insurance phone calls, emails, and snail mail! Coffee is always necessary!

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    1. A friend of mine told me yesterday that they should install like a coffee-level-checker onto phones, so if you haven't had enough coffee to function, the phone won't let you answer telemarketer calls. I'm definitely down for trying to invent that, lol.

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  2. I am not a coffee drinker but I am a huge caffiene addict. I do not function well (or really at all) with no caffiene.
    www.mommysrambles.blogspot.com

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    1. I get the largest headaches about mid-morning on days I don't have my caffeine first thing. I know that's a sign that I'm addicted and should wean my body off of it, but I like coffee too much, lol.

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  3. I hate coffee so you can imagine what a mess I am at all times!

    BTW, because of a post of yours on FB, I started watching Charmed :) I'm only on episode 5 of Season 1 but I am LOVING the 90's fashion!

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    1. Hate coffee? What? That just doesn't compute with me, lol. ;)

      YAY!! I shall convert the world to Charmed watchers. I told my daughter it was about time for me to watch the entire series again (I do it every few years) and I want her to watch with me. Once we get through Pretty Little Liars, it's on, lol.

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