Friday, February 8, 2013

I'll Trade You Candles for a Goat and Chicken

They say money is the root of all evil. I'm not sure who 'they' is, but there are days when I fully agree with them.

We filed our taxes about 2 weeks ago. This year the federal government couldn't get their crap together in time, so our taxes were put on hold until January 30th. They were accepted on the 31st, and now we are currently playing the waiting game, wondering when we'll actually get our refund check. For the past 13 years we filed, they were accepted the next day, and on Friday of the following week we got our money. If history repeats itself, that Friday is...


I keep checking our bank account, hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that it's there, and nothing so far. Normally, this would be okay. Normally, I'd just sit back and relax, not really worrying about it. Not this Friday. Not this year.

Hubby and I are horrible with money. So, if for some reason my amazing blog posts on how I smoothly handle every single parenting problem with grace and ease, and have amazing sex on a regular basis, and am always talking about how perfect my kids are, and how I'm a size 6 and eat whatever I want without exercising, and I'm always prepared for whatever life throws at me, and how I'm Super Mom and have a million friends led you to believe that I'm perfect with money, too... Sorry, that's just not the case.
Courtesy of William Stake

This tax refund is the money we need to finally get our lives back on track. Paying for a cross-country move (complete with a moving company that had their way with me and didn't use lube and 3 plane tickets with 2 pets accompanying along) in June followed by a deposit and moving to a house on base followed by The Ginger's birthday followed by Christmas followed by play catch up after Christmas has led us here: checking our bank account balance every 10 minutes to see if the IRS has satisfied their end of this deal.

This refund, for us, is our Wonka's Golden Ticket. It will pay off our car, our new washer and dryer and allow us to finally put money into savings- something we haven't had in... 7... no, wait, carry the two, subtract the years we were separated, add that weird tax bonus we got in September that one year, divide by the root of... yeah, I have no freaking clue. Every time we put money into savings, something would come up and we'd have to use the money in savings.

So yes, Inklingers, Hubby and I are part of the 2/3rds of Americans who live paycheck to paycheck. We've
never been on a family vacation, we've never consistently had money in savings, we don't have a retirement plan, and we don't even have credit cards to fall back on in case of emergencies. We don't get to spend our time travelling to exotic locations because we are bored, we can't go out and buy a new car just because, and hell- we can't even take advantage of the fact that today only, Michael's is running 50% off of poster frames AND they have a 20% off today's entire purchase coupon, which would finally allow us to frame the puzzles we finish and glue every week.

Money sucks. Or, how Hubby and I handle money sucks. But we try, we really do. I extreme coupon, we don't go out to eat, I shop at Goodwill for things for our home, I make things we need- we really do try. We just can't seem to get ahead.

There are days where I'd welcome a Revolution-style apocalypse; All of the power in the world goes out and after the initial panic dies down, we are forced to return to the barter system. I can make candles and all-natural healing salves from herbs- I'll gladly trade them to you for that goat and chicken, please and thank you!

So if you are one of those 2/3rds of American's, you aren't alone. I'm feeling the money pinch right along with you. And if you are checking your bank account to see if there is relief from the IRS, I've probably checked mine twice as much...

To find nothing. Still. Son of a... this sale at Michael's is only today, federal government, so hurry the hell up.

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  1. Damn I need new poster frames too!! And I'm doing the same thing, I've logged onto my online banking so much my smartphone is getting warm.

    1. Yeah, it looks like for today, it's a bust. I lit a green candle and everything. =(

  2. You crack me up!

    Hey, I added your button to my blog... Can't remember if I told you or not! I have a little button on my blog to grab if you want :)