Thursday, February 28, 2013

13 Things I Don't Understand About My Kids

1. 2 words: Gangnam Style.

2. Their inability to immediately accept 80s movies as gospel. I have to make them watch classics such as Ferris Bueller's Day Off  and Adventures in Babysitting, and once they do, they talk about how much they enjoyed them, but getting them to actually watch them is like pulling teeth.

3. Seriously, it's not rocket science...
The toilet paper roll in the kids' bathroom.

4. The Ginger eats apples, sausage and rice, but when I make an amazing dinner that everyone else enjoys that mixes these 3 ingredients together, it's all of a sudden disgusting.

5. The Girl can remember what she wore last Tuesday to school, her best friend's pet hamster's name and the exact date that she bought her favorite pair of earrings, but can't seem to remember to scoop out the litter box each day or even pick her towel up off of the bathroom floor.

6. Their fascination with that youtube crap of a sensation, Fred. Seriously, that guy is annoying as hell, and
my kids find him hilarious.

7. 2 more words: Skinny Jeans.

8. The Ginger can spend 23 minutes in the shower and when he gets out, his hair smells like wet dog. Upon asking him why his hair smells like wet dog, he replies, 'I forgot to wash it.'

9. We tell The Girl we are heading to the mall to go shopping, and she scoffs and throws a hissy fit, claiming she hates shopping. 10 minutes later she returns from outside asking if she can go shopping at the mall with her friends.

10. Why they think after asking me 48 times for something and getting a 'no' answer, that asking attempt #49 will yield a different answer.

11. How they don't realize we are the coolest parents ever.

12. How 10 minutes into telling us a story that started out with 'I had to sit at the detention table at lunch today...' The Ginger has included such details as how one of his friends doesn't eat cheese, how the shirt another friend wore today was too big for him, and how another kid in his class has a little brother that coughed really loud and the whole cafeteria heard him, but still hasn't gotten anywhere close to telling us why he had to sit at the detention table.

13. The Girl does her homework sitting in the bathroom floor because her room is boring.

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  1. Sadly I am still in that "oh, isn't that just too cute and funny" stage of pre-mommyhood. Oh the joys of being prego with the the first when everything is still all sunshine and rainbows and the reality of parenting has yet come a calling! I'm taking thorough notes, though.

    1. Awwww... I remember those days. They were sweet and innocent. Good luck to you in the near future, my dear!

      And make sure your notes are in pencil. You'll need to erase a lot of what you learned here, lol. ;)

  2. My sister thinks that unless you have had a baby it is impossible to change a toilet paper roll … your picture is a familiar sight at both her house and mine!

    Fred - OMG most aggrivating "entertainment" ever!!

    I guess for asking 49+ times we should be happy they still have optimistic outlooks - lol. I have asked why mine believes her answer will be different if she asks again and again and she told me she thought I might change my mind one day ….

    1. I have never thought of the endless questions as optimistic. I like that! ;)

  3. That Fred guy is agonizing. They stuck his stupid ass in another show recently, too. I weep for the future.

  4. I just can't stop looking for a good, or at least decent, reason to do homework on the bathroom floor.......