Moms are everything. We play every role in a child's life that we possibly can, and when we finally get a few minutes to ourselves, we're planning or sorting out what we have to do next. From the moment the child is born this is the life of a Mom.
(And The Ginger awakens and comes downstairs. Yep, today was a 2 minute day.)
When those few minutes of Mom Time come along, we make a grocery list, or do some laundry, or balance the checkbook, or make a list of what still needs to be done in the house. We hardly ever just sit and be, or take a relaxing bath or watch our favorite TV show.
About a month ago I was asked to be a beta tester for an amazing website. It's kind of like if pinterest and facebook had a baby and this baby was trying to better your life with games, tasks, writing, visualization and goals. They haven't launched it yet, but when they do, I'm telling y'all now it's going to be the next biggest thing the internet has seen since facebook. And the reason is simple- this website, unlike facebook which is so full of negativity (you can't tell me right now you don't have at least 5 people on your friends' list who don't post 'Woe is me' statuses or political/religious/societal propaganda every day), promotes happiness and has people take steps to be the happiest they possibly can. This website has researchers and scientists behind it that have been studying the science of being happy and how to encourage people to exercise their happy muscle to make it bigger...
Stop snickering. I know, I know, I just said 'happy muscle', but get your minds out of the gutter... not that happy muscle.
I saw a difference after the first few days. I chose the 'Appreciate What You Have' track to perform the
exercises and tasks in, and it immediately made me look at my home, my family, and myself differently. I found myself yelling less, deep breathing more, and just sitting still and listening to the sounds around me (my kids came home from school one day while I was outside doing this- I think they're convinced I've finally lost it). I learned to quit worrying so much and focus on the positive. (And yes, when this website gets out of testing stages, I will definitely share it with everyone!)
Let me put this into Mom Words for all of those moms reading today, thinking, 'Yeah, sounds great, but what does that even mean, and do I have time to do it, too?' I'll give y'all a scenario that I'm sure you can relate to. A routine morning is getting the kids up for school, packing them a lunch, making sure they grab a bowl of cereal, making sure their book bags are packed, and kissing them goodbye as they head out the door to school. As soon as they walk out of the door, my brain would start to worry that their coats weren't warm enough and wonder if they should have worn gloves and a hat, too. Maybe I should have made them bacon and eggs for breakfast instead of them having a sugar-filled cereal. I should have added carrot sticks to their lunches to make them healthier. And crap, I'm pretty sure The Girl is wearing that shirt I hate. She snuck that one in on me.
I spent so much time concentrating on the negatives of a situation that I didn't see the positives. The kids did grab their heaviest jackets, so I'm sure they were fine. They at least ate a breakfast- a cereal that makes them smile and that we were fortunate enough to have in our home. Their lunches had applesauce, a lean turkey sandwich, pretzels and granola bars in them, so they were plenty healthy. And that shirt, while I hate it, is The Girl's favorite and she loves it, so it made her happy today (but yes, we will have a talk about it when she gets home this afternoon).
This is how I now approach things in my life; focusing on the positive instead of the negative, and I couldn't stress enough to moms... and anyone.... everywhere, that they need to do the same. Only 10% of what we moms worry about actually happens (yeah, I learned that on that awesome cool website). That means 90% of my worrying time is a waste of time, and I'm not happy with wasting time. I decided to relax a little more, listen to my intuition about things, and focus on the good of a situation instead of worrying about a little aspect of it.
Try and change your way of thinking this week. Any time you find yourself with a few free minutes, just sit and listen. Go outside if you want to hear more, and close your eyes and just be. Deep breathe, clear your head of grocery lists and how you have to do laundry, and just be. Even if you can only get 2 minutes in, it's better than not having had that 2 minutes at all. I promise you, you'll see a difference in your life. If nothing else, those 2 sips of coffee you manage to get in during the peace and quiet taste so much better than any coffee you've ever had before, because you are savoring it, taking in the smell, the taste, how happy it makes you feel. Take those few minutes all for yourself, and be selfish about it. You know what they say...
If Mom's not happy, then no one is happy.