Sunday, January 13, 2013

Hi, My Name is Tatted Mom, and I Don't Play Well With Others

I can be a people person, I swear I can. When I worked in retail and then again in a tattoo shop, I was able to carry on polite conversations with people, laugh when they told a joke (even a suck ass one), and keep a smile on my face. In my personal life, however, it's a different story. I have a few close friends, and I'm perfectly fine with that. The older I get, the more I get set in my ways of having my family and a few close friends in my circle and that's it. Interacting with the outside world is a necessity of life, and it's through this interaction that I am constantly reminded that I don't play well with other people.

I'm the member of several online groups. Back in the day, I started out with Cafe Mom. That site was like crack at first. All of the drama, trolling and stupid answers to stupid questions had me logging in several times a day to get my fix and laugh my ass off. Very quickly, my inability to keep my mouth shut got my responses and posts deleted by the admins, and I was put on probation. Screw them, I never went back.

I made the decision to save my sanity and stay off of those mom forums altogether. Sure, I had amazing advice that might be needed by some, but I figured if they were meant to hear my opinion, they'd find my blog. I'm not sure how many more My 6 week old won't sleep through the night, what do I do? questions I could have handled before trying to employ one of the Anonymous hackers to virtually blow up the site.

In the meantime, my deal-finding side led me to some online yard sale sites and freebie sites for the area I live in. While they were done in a group style, I figured no harm could come of me joining them- there can't be drama and stupid people there, right?

Holy shit, was I wrong. Every single day I have to fight every urge to open up a can of verbal whoop ass on some of these people, and most days I'm successful (surprisingly enough). I've heard the admins of most of these groups are bitches, so I know I'd get banned for speaking my mind. I have to weigh that, and not being banned usually wins. It doesn't mean, though, that it's not a constant reminder of how I don't play well with others.

Scenario 1: 12 K-Cups for sale, $7. Never been used, not even in a box.
What I Wanted to Say: Are you kidding me? $7 for 12 K-Cups is what I pay at the grocery store, AND I'd have a coupon for anywhere from $1-$2 off that $7, making those K-Cups only $5-$6. Oh, and they'd be in a freaking unopened box. Moron.
What I Said: Nothing. It wasn't worth getting banned off of this site to speak my opinion on this one.

Scenario 2: A member wanted recommendations for tattoo shops in town. A string of comments followed
about these few shops, and one girl said that she had gotten a huge flower on her thigh with words around it for only $40. The comments that followed that one were about how people should go to this shop because their prices were the best in town- no pictures of tattoos were ever uploaded that had come from this shop.
What I Wanted to Say: Hey, how about you don't shop for pricing on a tattoo that's going to be on your body for the rest of your life? How about $40 in a shop for a large flower and some words probably means the tattoo looks like shit? How about, I'm a tattoo artist and I did research on the shops here, and the only place I'd go (and have gone to) is this one, so you should go there?
What I Said: All of that. I refused to hold my tongue on the subject of tattooing. The girl with the $40 masterpiece (so she said) said that her guy's shop is "real clean" and he "used good quality ink", so I was wrong about the assessment that $40 for a huge tattoo in a shop = shitty tattoo, though when asked for a picture of this tattoo, she said she'd only text it to the person who originally asked the question.

  • Wait, I'm sorry... You are so right. You have 1 tattoo, so you must be the expert, huh? I only spent 1000 hours of my life learning how to tattoo and how to run a tattoo shop and then 5 years after that tattooing. I know nothing compared to what you know, because you were tattooed by this guy. Please, by all means, educate me on what brand of "good quality ink" he used and through which reputable supplier he ordered it, so that I can learn from him and his $40 for a huge flower and words method of tattooing. Moron.
Unfortunately, I did not reply with what is in that bullet right there after initially explaining that I was a tattoo artist and why you shouldn't price shop for a tattoo. I don't argue with stupid people, and I certainly don't argue with people who think they know more about tattooing than me because they have a tattoo. That's like me going to a mechanic and telling him how to fix my car because I own one. Thank goodness someone else in the string valued my opinion and asked what it was about the other shops in town that I found to be lacking. But as for $40 flower girl, I took the high road... Dammit.

Scenario 3: Shampoo bottles, $3 each; razor packs $5 each; mouthwash $3 each; body wash $3 each
What I Wanted to Say: Hey, bitch, guess what? I extreme coupon, too, and know that you paid $1 each for all of that shit. How do I know? Because I have a drawer full of razors upstairs and under my sink are stacks of shampoo and body wash. Don't extreme coupon and then sell the shit on a yard sale site. You are probably the reason why, when I went to the store to grab 5 bottles of that mouthwash at $1 a bottle, the damn store was sold out. Do you want to know what I was going to do with 5 bottles of mouthwash? USE THEM. 
What I Said: Nothing. Again, getting banned from this site was not worth me speaking my mind. I pondered taking the exact same picture and putting $1 each on it, just to piss her off, but I like to keep my stockpile stocked.

Scenario 4: Size 6 jeans, worn for about a year, $25
What I Wanted to Say: Hey, you must be related to the $7 for 12 unboxed K-Cups lady above. This is a yard sale group, not a retail establishment. Drop that shit to like $5 and you may have a bite or two.
What I Said: Not worth the banishment from the group. 

Scenario 5: $60 for a Louis Vuitton pet carrying bag... posted in the 'free stuff' group
What I Wanted to Say: If you paid more than $60 for a small dog pet carrying case, you probably didn't understand the word 'Free' in the title of the group.
What I Said: Thank goodness that as I was typing 'This is the FREE group', a comment popped up from another member that said, 'this is the free page...' so I didn't have to risk banishment on that one.

As you can see, not wanting to get banned from these groups (because then I can't buy from the people who aren't stupid) has me keeping my mouth shut through most of these scenarios. Cafe Mom was the same way at first, too. I held my tongue until I exploded... and got put on probation. I'm not sure if these sites will be the same. If people would quit posting stupid shit, then everything would be better.

If I explode, I'll let y'all know, complete with the URL so you can see where my can of whoop ass was opened up.

After writing this post, another amazing scenario was presented to me, that I have to include in this post because it perfectly demonstrates how I don't play well with others.

Scenario 6: Someone received a $25 gift card for Kohl's as a gift (for free) and they were selling the gift card for $25.
What I Wanted to Say: "Since you got this for free, I can give you $15 for it."
What I Said: Exactly that. Then this happened:

Seller: Sorry, I'm firm on the $25.
Me: Wow...
3rd Person: That's a low blow
Me: It's not a low blow. If I wanted to spend $25 at Kohl's, I'd bypass the yard site group altogether and spend $25 at Kohl's. It's a low blow for someone to try and sell something for full price that they got for free.
(transaction between seller and 3rd person occurred, trading $25 Kohl's card for $25 Bed, Bath and Beyond card)
My Friend: I have to agree with Morgan. She wasn't trying to be mean or rude.
Seller: She should have kept her comments to herself. The Wow was rude...

And the thread has now been deleted, or else I would have screenshot that shit for y'all.

So, now I hand out low blows and am rude because I want to only pay someone $15 for something they got for free and are selling on a yard sale site. 

I told y'all I don't play well with others...

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  1. Re: Tattoos. YES! When people come to me to ask advice on getting tattoos (I have a few and they're a bit obvious) the first thing I tell them is to pick a good artist. To remember that it's art and that it's going to be on their skin forever so they should pick someone who does work that they love. Not like, not think is good, but that you absolutely love.

    And if they're a good artists they won't be able to ink you the second you walk in the door. If they don't have a wait list, don't go there.

    Rant done.

    And yeah, I have the same incredible difficulty being diplomatic. I don't see the point, most of the time. It slows things up and doesn't get the point across.

    1. Amazing answer, especially about the waiting list. I try and tell people that, but most of them want tattoos and want them right then and there. There's possibly a cost for that, long term, as in not getting exactly what you want or as good of quality.

  2. I am actually surprised that you didn't "explode" on the tattoo thread. :-0 I have two tattoos and the first one I was able to get done on the spot because the artists happened to have a last minute cancellation and he even gave me a discount because I was able to hang out and get it done. Double score! (I ended up tipping him the difference though). My second one I had to wait a week for and it was totally worth it because this one is something very dear to me and I didn't want a "discount tattoo shop" doing it. (BTW thanks TattedMom =-)) You go to WalMart and Target to discount shop not a tattoo shop.