My name is Nikki. I am the slightly insane Author of Dysfunctional Dose. I am a Yankee born, southern livin' Mother to 3 beautiful pain in the a** children. I have 2 tweens (1 with special needs) and 1 teenage eye rolling drama queen! My kids are my life. Writing is my passion. I finally feel like I have found a way to laugh through this messy dysfunctional life that I have! I have a very serious Diet Coke addiction and an equally serious potty mouth. Please do not try and correct either one of those things. I am who I am, and I'm finally taking pride in that. Like me for me or don't like me at all. ;)
When the freakishly talented artist and writer here at The Inklings of Life asked me to guest blog, I almost tinkled in my pants a little from excitement! (I've had 3 kids so, sadly that was serious.) This means it is 100% acceptable for me to chime in on one of her recent posts: Gossip Ring at Age 10? What? and not get in any trouble for it?! Well then, I'm all in! I think almost everyone can relate to that post. This age made such an impact on me that I can still remember it like it was yesterday. I also remember a couple of road blocks we crashed into when my oldest daughter was 10.
Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth grades seem to be the time when everyone starts forming their groups in the social scene. In Fourth grade, my daughter was still pretty new here in Texas because we had just moved here from Chicago at the end of 3rd grade. She talked fast and still had the strong northern accent. She pretty much talked like a New Yawka through her nose! It's not a very good situation in the south at all. So, when she asked to do the Talent Show with a group of girls, I was excited for her that she was starting to make friends. They made plans to get together on the weekends to practice. One night at dinner I asked if everyone was still getting together. She told me she didn't think they were even doing the Talent Show anymore because two of the girls were fighting.
I said, "Oh really, How come?"
She answered, "Because Mary sent a text message to someone saying that Janie gave someone a "BJ" in the bathroom. It got forwarded to almost everyone in the school and Janie is mad."
BACK UP SISTER.
What did you say?!
First of all, let me remind you that she was 10. TEN. Let me also add that she actually said both words, and she said it like it was an every day phrase we use all the time. My husband and I were both present for this. If our reaction would have been taped and put on You Tube, we would be rich right now.
When I could finally get my words to come to the surface I asked "Thing 1, can you tell me what that is please? I'm not sure if we are thinking it's the same thing." She answered, "I think it means they kissed."
Whew!! One point for the Parents! Our 10 year old does not know what a BJ is!
I said, "No honey, it's not. It's an adult sexual act that should never be coming out of the mouths of 10 year old girls. I do not want you to be involved in speaking about this ever again. That is horrible that someone started a rumor like that. If you hear people talking about it, I want you to walk away."
It only took me a minute to get on the phone with the principal and schedule a meeting to talk to him the next day.
What happens during this age that makes middle schoolers such meanies?! I am just starting my 3rd time going through this extra special phase. I've said before that it's as if my sweet innocent boy was eaten by the 5th grade hallway monster. When they spit him back out, they gave me a dragon breath sour puss! Boys suddenly think a little peach fuzz makes them as tough as The Macho Man Randy Savage! Girls suddenly think because they got a cute little training bra that means it's a contest to see who can be a bigger witch?! This is when the eye rolling starts. The attitudes are sour. The testing begins. In front of parents they still throw hissy fits like a toddler. In front of their peers they are tough sh*t!
Unfortunately, I can't say it gets better in junior high. In fact, it will reach a level close to insanity. I will say, if you play your cards right, by the time they are in the middle of high school things will get slightly better. For middle school and junior high there is only one way to control the madness. I have tried everything else. Don't waste your time. In this type of situation it's wiser to use the last resort first.
Tape their dang mouths shut!! Just for 4 years. Freedom of speech in the age group doesn't even exist!!
What's that you say?! This is abuse?? I never once said tape their nose. I'm not saying to punch them in the throat. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD....IT'S TAPE! It's not going to hurt. It will however, stop the chronic diarrhea of the mouth! It's a brilliant idea because you will come out looking like the best mom ever when it also saves them from losing friends. If everyone would do this, the whole world would be better! This entire age group just can't seem to shut their mouths! I wish I would have thought about this sooner. Then, maybe my Thing 1 wouldn't have had to learn things the hard way. I think she finally got the picture that it's wiser to think before you speak during her freshman year of high school when a fellow classmate showed her where you put your fist when someone won't stop running their mouth!
(Don't worry. Mama Bear handled business with this little situation, and I am NOT a mama you care to mess with. I really don't care what she said. That doesn't give you the right to hit her.)
As parents it is our job to teach these kids early on what traits make you a good friend and when you need to move on. I'll never figure out why girls are so mean, but these are the years you have to show her who's really Queen! If we all take care of business at home then maybe school will be a funner place to go!
Thank you so much for joining me today! Also, a HUGE thank you to the host for allowing me to guest post! If you want to read more of my crazy stories head on over to my blog at http://dysfunctionaldose.com Grab a cocktail and stay for a while! While you're there feel free to make a toast!