Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Gossip Ring at Age 10? What?

Last time I checked, I was the mom of a 10 year old and a 7 year old- not a teenager. Kids nowadays are so much more mature than they should be, that sometimes I have to have a reality check in the department of my kids and their ages.

When I picked my kids up from school one day last week, my daughter had clearly been crying. Her teacher came and told me she and a few other kids had to meet with the guidance counselor because of a gossip ring that had gotten out of control and visibly upset The Girl.

Gossip ring? They are in the 5th grade. What kind of gossip ring is there in the 5th grade? Did someone steal her Capri Sun at lunch and we were having to dig through the rumors to find out who did it? What could 5th graders possibly gossip about that would have my daughter in tears?

The story goes like this (from The Girl, not the guidance counselor or a teacher): My daughter liked a boy in her class and decided to tell her best friend, but made her promise to keep it a secret. The best friend did not keep it a secret, and ran and told the boy that The Girl liked.

At this point in the story, I'm finding it very hard to keep my mouth shut, but out of respect for my daughter, I let her continue.

The best friend betraying The Girl's trust wasn't the problem. The boy she liked came and talked to her, told her it was okay, that he liked her, too. That's when the rumor started that The Girl and this boy were dating.

Dating... the 5th grade... I bit my tongue so The Girl could continue.

The dating rumor upset The Girl a little, but it wasn't until a little boy in another class, when he heard about The Girl and this boy "dating", got jealous and decided to make up a rumor that The Girl doesn't like people that aren't white, that The Girl got very upset and the guidance counselor intervention was needed.

Where in the hell do I even start with this? Before I completely dive in, I will say that, thank goodness, the guidance counselor told all kids involved that they were too young for this shit stuff, and they needed to act
like 10 year old children again, forgetting the "dating" bullshit crap and the racist rumors. (I crossed out the cuss words because, while I wouldn't have cared if those were the guidance counselor's exact words, especially considering the severity of this situation, I'm sure she censored herself.)

What in the hell has the world come to when 10 year olds are talking about dating, and racism, and rumors and gossip? The Girl having a crush on a classmate and telling her best friend? Completely understandable at this age. The best friend breaking her promise and running and telling the boy? Completely expected at this age. The two 10 year olds "dating"? Entirely too mature for this age (wasn't it called 'going together' back when we were young?). The Girl having a rumor started that she's racist? I'm sorry, but I believe the child who started this rumor needs to have his parents informed and they should come in and have a meeting with me. Racism isn't funny, nor is trying to start a false rumor about my child being a racist. That's completely uncalled for at any age, especially at 10 years old, though. Maybe starting the rumor that The Girl had cooties would be a little more acceptable at this age.

Why would this kid immediately jump to racism in the first place? Did no one else find that to be a little odd? Seems to me that the child is being taught some amazing life lessons at home. Does no one think that maybe that needs to be looked into a little bit?

The only thing I could muster to tell The Girl when she got finished with her story was that the guidance counselor was right, and all of this shit stuff was too mature for her and her friends. She agreed, and I added as she walked out the door that no one would be "dating" right now. She agreed, and said that she's too young for that, that she and the boy don't hold hands or kiss or anything, they just said they liked each other. I told her that was treading thin water, and she said she understood. End of conversation.

How did I remain so calm throughout this? Honestly, I have no idea. Dating, racism, gossip, rumors... all at age 10? This is absolutely ridiculous. These kids are growing up way too fast, diving into topics and situations that they know nothing about, more than likely because it's something they saw or heard on TV, or overheard the older kids talking about.

I remember age 10. I moved to the middle of nowhere at age 10. My biggest concern was making sure I didn't get chewing gum stuck in my braces because then my mom would know I was chewing gum, which I wasn't supposed to be doing because I had braces. I didn't worry about boys until the 6th grade, and then not even remotely seriously until middle school. This drama these kids are putting themselves through, are creating, isn't drama I experienced until somewhere between 7th and 8th grade.

It makes me want to lock my daughter in a closet until she's 18. Is that frowned upon? What about a chastity belt? Do they make those anywhere? I'm losing my mind here, worrying about how if this is the crap going on in the 5th grade, what's in store for next year, or the year after that, or a few years down the road when she gets to high school. Good grief, I don't think my mind or my heart can handle this shit.

Yet another reason why I'd like to keep my children in a time warp or move out to the middle of nowhere and home school them. This is getting ridiculous.

On a positive note, my daughter reported to me yesterday that all is well at school; all of the kids involved have seemed to put their differences behind them, and the children who witnessed tears falling from The Girl's eyes have forgotten all about it. She's back to looking forward to school each day, which is better for me right now, because when this all happened, she begged me to home school her starting now.

No one would benefit from me home schooling my kids, I'm sure of it. My sanity, above all, agrees with me on that statement.

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. I do happy dances when people vote!

Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

16 comments:

  1. While I completely agree that ten is way too young to be wrapped up in dating and such, I have to say I'm not shocked. This sort of thing was going on when I was that age. Granted, fifth grade wasn't all that long ago (I'm turning 22 next month). The good news is that the jump from 5th to 6th grade wasn't all that dramatic. (The jump from 7th to 8th, on the other hand, IS one to watch out for. A few grades behind mine had a teen pregnancy then. IN THE EIGHTH GRADE. Crazy. Maybe my hometown needs your "Where are the mothers?" speech...)

    The racism rumors are surprising, though. That's not one I heard in school...ever.

    On the upside, I can verify that they DO still make and sell chastity belts. My husband and I have spent the last two years in Germany, and when we visited Rothenburg last April we saw a medieval shop that sold all sorts of weaponry, armor, and, tucked away on a top shelf, three chastity belts. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahh, still a spring chicken, you are, lol. I was in the 5th grade... a lot longer ago than you, lol. ;)

      Hell yeah to the chastity belts. I must google and order.

      Delete
  2. Apparently "going together" is "dating" now. Probably also around age 10 (7 years ago), my stepson told me he was "dating" a little girl. I'm like "what the heck? Are you picking her up in a car and going to movies?" He looked at me like I was stark raving mad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I had to ask my daughter what 'dating' meant, and she said they just liked each other. They need a new word, then, in my opinion.

      Delete
  3. If find chastity belts on sale, please let us all know!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hell, I'm about to just start making them, lol. I need to either learn welding quickly, or find someone who already does it...

      Delete
  4. I'm the proud mama to a 10 yo girl and a 13 yo girl...and it's only gonna get worse from here. They call it going out here...there's no real "dating" involved, but the rumors and drama are plentiful. I agree 100% that the main concern here should be on the kid who immediately pulled the racism card!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for siding with me on the racism thing. That one floored me.

      Good to know it only gets worse, lol. I'll see about that prescription of xanax here soon, then. ;)

      Delete
  5. I hear you, my 2nd grader told me that a little boy in his class has a crush on a little girl. I thought it was cute, but I wonder how much more is gossiped about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd hate to think about it. My 2nd grader came home and told me he had a girlfriend. I asked him if the little girl knew that she was his girlfriend and he said, 'Yeah, I think so.' At that age, it's cute. Older than that, not so much...

      Delete
  6. And you shouldn't *have* to homeschool. I'm really glad this was nipped in the bud! Racism? Because she only likes non-white boys? Hubby was the first white guy I dated. I'm pretty sure that didn't make me racist. I just preferred black guys. Geez

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In all honesty, give society a few more years, and there will be no more 'race'. Everyone will be a mismatch of what used to be black, white, yellow, orange... whatever. I take online surveys during the day to kill time, and there are 25 different options for the question 'What race are you?' I wish they'd let me type in 'Purple People Eater' as mine... not sure how many surveys they'd let me participate in, though... Oh, well.

      Delete
    2. Yes! And how do you choose your race? For instance, how did Obama choose his race as black? After all, he's of mixed decent. I tend to mark Am. Indian on those forms just because we're such a small minority. But, I grew up in a white family in a black neighborhood. In my teens, I probably would have self-identified as a black person more than any other race.

      I figure in the not too distant future, we'll all be some shade of brown. :D

      Delete
  7. Couldn't agree more! And the chastity belts! LOL
    Found this site where you could exchange stuff, uhmmm, like the ones lurking in your closet? For all you know, you could really find one here! You don't need to spend a penny!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Interestingly I didn't realise until I was older that similar things happened when I was that age (In the early nineties). There was a girl one year younger than me who 'dated' a lot of the boys. She would 'date' a different one every week and if they had a falling out she'd 'date' a new one as a sort of revenge - or he'd 'date' one of her best friends for the same reason. I remember being confused by it at the time and not really grasping what had been going on until I was fourteen.

    A note on that is the girl's mum was pretty much the youngest mother of anyone in the school and one of the only ones who was single. She had a boyfriend and he was a cool guy, so I suspect a lot of it was just copying what happened at home.

    which brings me to the racism accusation. Definitely something going on at home there, I totally agree.

    ReplyDelete