Thursday, August 16, 2012

Dear King of Television Land

Dear King of Television Land,

I'm writing you today to let you know that we have a problem- yes, 'we', as in you and me. I have been left with this void, created by you, and I feel that it is your job to fill this void. Honestly, after everything we've been through, I never really thought you would treat me this way; leave me in this state of despair. We've had an amazing relationship for what, 25 years now? To think that after all this time, this is the year our relationship might be ending? The thought is devastating to me.

This year is the first that you seem to have left me with no chick drama show to watch. For the past 8 years you entertained me with 'Desperate Housewives', and that series had its last episode a few months ago. 8 years, King of Television Land. That's older than my son. I shared every laugh, every tear, every twist and turn with those 4 women for 8 years- they were like family to me. And just like that, you all decided it had run its course and now it's gone... forever.

Before 'Desperate Housewives' (and with some overlap), you had given me 'Charmed' to watch. Like 'Desperate Housewives', 'Charmed' was 8 glorious years of my life, which began even before my marriage did. 3 gorgeous, witchy sisters who fought demons- I fought right beside them, cried every time one of them died, rejoiced every time they were brought back to life, for 8 years. And just like that, you all decided they had run their course as well, and that show was added to my DVD collection.

I can say this- you replaced 'Charmed' with 'Supernatural' and that substitution sufficed. 3 hot sister witches for 2 hot demon hunting brothers- fair trade. So, I can forgive you for letting go of the Halliwell sisters and forcing me to embrace the Winchester brothers. When you decide their time is up, though, we're going to have to have another talk. For now, you are forgiven.

The problem lies in the fact that so far, of what I have seen of the fall TV show premieres, you are doing nothing to help fill the void left by yanking 'Desperate Housewives' from my weekly viewing schedule. At the moment I still have 'Weeds', but even Nancy Botwin is in her last year, but let's face it: Yes, it will be nice
seeing Andy in the role of a veterinarian in the fall's 'Animal Practice', but do you really think that's going to fill the upcoming void that the end of  'Weeds' will leave me with? I think not, and you know better. Shame on you.

All of the commercials for upcoming fall premieres I've seen so far are for shows that cater to the male viewer. Sure, '666 Park Avenue' has one of the newest Wisteria Lane 'Desperate Housewives' characters, Renee (Vanessa Williams), in its cast, but is that show going to be 'Desperate Housewives'? Is it going to chronicle the lives of 4 amazing women, their ups, their downs, and how womanhood and their friendship have bound them together for life? I think not, and you know better. Again, shame on you.

What am I supposed to do, King of Television Land? What are you doing to fill this void of a chick drama show? I've seen your commercials for 'Revolution' which is 'Lost' meets 'Jericho' meets 'The Walking Dead' without the zombies. While the show looks great, and I will more than likely be tuning in each week to watch it, it's simply not going to fill the void left by 'Desperate Housewives' and 'Charmed'.

Women like me look so forward to our weekly prime time soap, King of Television Land. We don't watch soaps during the day- the story lines are cheesy, and the plot never goes anywhere. Plus, between the laundry, house cleaning, raising kids, cooking and trying to get a little sleep, we don't have time to watch a show every single day for an hour. We count down the days until we can see our favorite women, their families, their never-boring lives, and escape for just an hour into their world to be left in a cliffhanger until the next week.

Your job is to entertain me, just as my job is to be entertained and spread the word. I write about my favorite shows, I spread the word to fellow women who I feel would enjoy the show as much as I do. I'm upholding my end of our relationship. So, King of Television Land, entertain me, damnit!

I can only hope that you are keeping the next chick drama show a well kept secret, to spring it on women like me when we have just about lost all hope that this fall will produce anything worth our laughs and our tears each week. I can only hope that finishing touches are being done to that special show now, and that the commercials are being put together with such care and emotion that when they are aired, we women will stop everything, burn dinner, forget to take the laundry out, let the kids run around the house naked for the 30 seconds that the magical commercial airs on TV. I can only hope that after a relationship that dates all the way back to 'Full House' and 'Step by Step', that you have not failed me this year.

I have hope, King of Television Land. Against the odds so far, I have hope. Please, for the love of all that is good in this world, do not let me down. We've had an amazing relationship for most of my life, I don't know how I would handle our break up after such a long time. Please, let me know that you have a show made specifically for me this fall, a show that will fill this void you have left me with. And please reveal it to me soon, because the hope is dwindling by the day.

Hoping and Wishing for the Best,
Tatted Mom

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  1. Good point. No wonder so many of us women have turned to Fifty Shades of Grey. :)

    1. I have never thought of it that way... so true! LOL!

      Thanks for replying!