Saturday, June 2, 2012

You Found WHAT at the Discount Surplus Store?

It's that time again, Inklingers... the time where I've run through a major chain store, taking pictures of random things that I found there, making fun of their inventory and doing the Happy Dance in their aisles if I hit the jackpot with an amazing item. Don't y'all want to go shopping with me? Sheesh.

'You Found WHAT at the Dollar Store' was deemed my 'comeback post'. I had been MIA from the blogosphere while I went through some life crap for a few months, and finally started to find my stride again with this post. Ever since that post, I've been on the look out for more amazing discounted products, so I can go ahead with round #2.

My local discount surplus store has finally given me the opportunity. As y'all know, I won't name the discount store. If you happen to see it's name on any price tags, then you are just an amazingly astute reader and I can't be held accountable for that. For the record, I love this store. I can fill up a cart and only spend $60, and the store has furniture, home decor items, personal items, grocery items and so much more. I love this place!

Keep in mind, these aren't dollar store items, so they cost more than $1. Doesn't make it any less awesome that I can get them at a discount surplus store. Enjoy the list of 12 things I've acquired this time; I'm sure there will be more posts in the future!

1. AZO PMS Pills

Feeling crabby? Not anymore!

For years, AZO has helped me stay away from the doctor when it comes to urinary tract infections and yeast infections, but now they are helping me with my PMS? Holy crap, hells yeah! All joking aside, I thought of buying these. The herbal blend in them is actually pretty amazing. I'm sure Hubby would have bought them for me had he been shopping with me that day. He would have bought the whole case.

2. Beaver Sweet Honey Mustard

'Cause everyone wants sweet beaver.

Yes, yes, and YES! Why? 2 reasons: Everyone needs to find their beaver at a discount store, and everyone wants a sweet beaver, right? Hey, I guess I shouldn't knock it. Beaver Honey Mustard has been around since 1929, so they must have the best beaver ever if people have been paying for it for almost 90 years.

3. Larry the Cable Guy Food

Just add beer & butter...
two things all rednecks have available!

Wait, you don't add beer to this one? I'm confused.
I was not aware that Larry the Cable Guy, who is a comic genius, was also a chef. I mean, his food kits are being sold at a local discount surplus store, so that makes them amazing, right? Fried chicken and beer bread... typical southern meal. (Not knocking it- I'm from the south and love the cooking down here.)

4. LudaSpray

I can smell like Ludacris? Hells yeah!
Hmmm, I was just wondering the other day, if I wanted to smell like a famous rapper, where would I go? My local discount surplus store? Get the f*ck out of town, really? I didn't smell this spray, but I can imagine it's a blend of a touch of strippers shaking their booties, a splash of money, and an abundance of sweaty balls.

5. Nutrisystem's Entire Line

Someone's stock must have
gone down to now be sold in a place like this...
Wait... Nutrisystem? Like, the pay $500 a month to have weight loss meals sent directly to your door, Nutrisystem? They make the meals look so glamorous on TV. This is grilled chicken breast in a box. How is that good for you? Man, some company has fallen quite a bit... Not mentioning names, though.

6. Pillsbury Lotion

Looks like some of the awesomeness
leaked out onto the bottom of the label.
You can't contain strawberry strudel fun.

Mmmmm.... nothing beats smelling like a ... bakery doughboy? No wonder he gets poked so much; he smells like strawberry strudel. I'd poke myself if I smelled like strawberry strudel.

7. Laundry Kit for Dummies

Kinda digging this kit, honestly...
I took slight offense to this kit. It has laundry bags, dryer balls, clothes separators, which is amazing, but if I were to have bought it, people would think I don't know how to do laundry. That sucks. There's a chance I may go back for it... seriously. And for less than $20. Man.

8. Spam with Bacon

Travesty, I say!

I love bacon. Let me rephrase that... I effing love bacon. But not this bacon. Sorry, but I can't do it. I can not try Spam with Bacon. It's demeaning the bacon so much. Poor bacon. And, how dare Spam try to drag us bacon lovers in... it won't work, Spam, it won't work.

9. Playboy Body Wash

Want to smell like a hooker? Yes, please!

With Playboy Body Wash, I can clean myself thoroughly and wash dirt, oil, my pride and self-dignity right down the drain. What's even better? The scent attracts 80 year old men in smoking jackets. YES!!

10. KY Yours & Mine Lube

A lube thief? I want to see the
surveillance camera footage on that!
No, wait. Apparently this box only contains either yours or mine. Someone needed lube so badly that they stole one of the tubes. I didn't check to see whether it was a selfish male or female who pocketed the naughty stuff, but hey, for what was only $10, now marked down to $5, one of you can have an amazing time. I'd be careful, though. A tampered box of lube could lead to...

11. Fire Balls

Spicy balls at the discount store? YES!
Everyone loves balls, and the discount store now sells fire balls. How amazing is that? This made me giggle, seriously.

Are y'all ready for the finale? It's a doozie...

12. Oral Analgesic Gel

Oral Anal...what? At the discount store?
'Yeah, excuse me, what aisle is your oral anal gel down? No, not that oral anal gel, the one for oral pain. No, not that one for oral pain, the one for toothaches and denture feti... Oh, nevermind.'  I about peed my pants laughing when I saw this. Does anyone truly look at this package and not think horrible thoughts? This stuff is the generic form of Anbesol, and I would spend the extra money on the name brand any day, to avoid the looks at the register buying oral anal gel. Sheesh.

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  1. Ha, You are too funny! Walking around taking pictures of the items you find and ect, I do that too. Love this post, you should definitely continue these from time to time. I look forward to see the next batch.

    1. Thanks! I'm always on the look out, sometimes the stores just have lame items. =)