Thursday, June 14, 2012

Giving the Aliens What They Like (aka My Philosophy on Life)

I was driving home from taking the kids to buy their teachers end of the year gifts, and KC & The Sunshine Band's 'Shake Shake Shake' song came on the radio. I immediately turned up the radio, and started singing (what few words I knew besides 'Shake shake shake, shake your booty'), and doing some (careful) dance moves while driving. I figured the kids were behind me, giggling at the use of the word 'booty' in a song, and by the second chorus would be singing along with me (it's so damn catchy).

I turned around, and they both are staring at me, mortified. Actually, The Girl was staring out her window, and when I asked her what was wrong, she acted like she didn't know me. 29 1/2 hours of labor, she better freaking know who I am...

So I turned the music down and sincerely asked what was wrong.

"This song is stupid" was The Girl's answer. I was shocked at first.

Me: So, it wasn't my dancing and singing while driving?
The Girl: Nope. That's just you. The song is stupid. I don't like it.
Me: Oh, come on, it's a classic. I bet if Katy Perry remade this song, you'd like it then, wouldn't you?
The Girl: That would be awesome.

I proceeded to turn the music back up and beg the kids to sing along with me. Finally, by the last bit of the song, they obliged and sang along with me.

I was ecstatic on so many levels. Yes, I had just gotten my kids to sing a song that was made before I was even born. Yes, I had just had a bonding moment with my kids. Yes, I had lightened up a boring car ride. Honestly, none of those were the high point.

My kids finally 'got' me. 

My daughter had answered, 'Nope, That's just you' when I asked if my zaniness bothered her. True, I just lost a bargaining chip every mother should have of being able to embarrass their kids whenever they want,
but this was bigger than that right of a mom. My kids have finally accepted that their mom is a random, happy, crazy woman.

It took them long enough, right? Not sure how long it will last, either, but that's part of the reason I'm documenting it in a blog post. It might be one of those rare days on the calendar like Leap Day or a blue moon. But hey, at least it happened. Sometimes, people never 'get' me; I'm just too out there. Why? That's the other reason for the post today: To share my philosophy of life with you all.

I've always walked to the beat of my own drum. My parents taught me to question things, be a free thinker, and make decisions for myself. I never fit in with one group specifically in high school, I tended to flutter between them all. But I can remember the exact moment I figured out my life and how I wanted to live it. Y'all ready for this?

I had just got done watching Jim Carrey in 'The Truman Show' for the first time (so I'm guessing it was '98 or '99), and I remember sitting there thinking, 'That's it. That's how I'm going to live my life, as if the whole world was watching. If my life was a TV channel, I want to make sure that God, Goddess, aliens, whoever is watching doesn't change the channel or cancel it altogether.' Sounds corny as hell, I know, but it's the honest truth.

And that's exactly what I've done for the last 13 years. I'm not sure what TV shows could best describe The Tatted Mom Channel: The Early Years (after my philosophy change, of course)... maybe some 'Full House' or 'Family Matters': good, wholesome crap. I did some 'Desperate Housewives' for a little while, a pinch of 'Charmed' for a few years. I'll admit now, there was some time ago that The Tatted Mom Channel looked more like an episode of 'Bad Girl's Club', or 'Jersey Shore' without all the gel, leopard print and douche. My life was drama, I fed off of drama, I created drama, I lived drama... but not too many people changed the channel. I went through some 'Intervention' and started getting back to who I really was inside.

Now, I'd say The Tatted Mom Channel is a blend of 'Cougartown', 'Modern Family', 'Supernatural' (don't ask, you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you anyway), anything on the Food Network, some natural, green living shows, 'Malcom in the Middle' and 'Survivor' all rolled up in one. I keep trying to vote kids off of the island every now and then; they don't budge, damnit.

Most of all, it's me. Whenever life seems to get a bit mundane, I figure out healthy ways to spice it up. I don't want the aliens getting bored with my channel, but I'm past the drama phase of reality TV. Now, I want the aliens to stay tuned because they never know what I'm going to say next, or when I'm going to break out in a random song and dance in a public place, or to get that warm, squishy feeling when I cuddle with my kids on the couch, or get all hot and bothered when Hubby and I finally reunite (8 more days, not that I'm counting or anything). I have a comedy/family feel good channel going on, and I love it!

So, create your own channel. Some pointers? If I'm flipping through the channels of life and the program is nothing but people sitting on their butts, stuffing their faces and watching TV, chances are I'm going to change it (unless that person weighs 600 lbs and they have to cut the wall to get them out... those shows are a guilty pleasure of mine). If there's nothing but arguing, screaming, yelling and fighting, you better believe I'll watch for a little while, but eventually I get sick of even watching that crap, so I change the channel. If you are doing a new craft with your kids, or trying a new recipe, I'm all up on that stuff like white on rice, taking notes in fact. And if there's ever an evil twin that no one knew about, or someone who falls down an elevator shaft but emerges years later, those are definitely keepers.

Make your channel, your life, one worth watchng. You don't have to do it every second of every day (aliens need sleep, too, and I'm sure their time zones are different than ours), but as long as your channel is above 50% on the ratings scale, I'm sure they won't cancel your show.

Just keep in mind, I'm over on my channel randomly singing and dancing to 'Shake Shake Shake' and making race car sounds when I drive. That's what stuff my aliens like to see... I know, I did a viewer's poll (again, don't ask, you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you, anyway).

If you enjoy Inklings, please take a second to just click the banner below. Each click = 1 vote, and you can vote once per 24 hours. We finally made it to the Top 25, so please help to keep us there!

Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory


  1. 8 days? OMG Are you ready? Are you packed? I'm panicking a little. Of course, I never panic for my own moves, but whatever.

    1. Hahaha, that's a good one. I'll post pics over at facebook sometime today for you to see how 'ready' I am. I'm right on schedule with everything, but my schedule accommodates for the fact that I procrastinate and work better near my deadline.