Tuesday, May 8, 2012

My Dream is Slowly Getting Squashed

I had a realization today (not an epiphany; damn, I've had too many of those lately) that the door to one of my dreams is slowly closing, and once this door is closed, I don't think it will ever be open again. Let me paint my dream for you...

It's a beautiful spring day. The kids are at school, but there's some kind of class event coming up for which I need to run to the store to pick up some things. I have a best friend who is a homemaker during the day like me, who I can call up and head to the store with me, because they too are waiting for the time to start cooking dinner, or for their kids to get off of the bus, or for their hubby to get home from work. So I call up my friend, we head to the local Wal-Mart if we're wanting to talk crap about the people there, or Target if we just want to get our shopping done without talking smack, get home, and drink mimosas on the porch until our kids get home from school, and our hubbies get home from work, gossiping or just sharing stories or advice from our lives in general. Our husbands are great friends, and we spend extended weekends grilling out and laughing, our kids playing in the yard.

I bet you are wondering why I think the door to this dream is slowly closing. Sounds completely reasonable, right?

In my dream, my best friend is a married gay guy, but the feminine one, in the "wife's" role. Seriously.

I'm not going to go all political with this post about how gay marriage isn't legal (yet), or even completely
dive into my opinion on the subject itself (though it's clear by my post at least what stand I take on the issue), but instead I want to whine. Yep, whine. Have a pity party, in a way. Hell, this is my blog afterall, right?

You all know that Hubby is in the military. While yes, there's no more "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", the government also doesn't recognize gay military couples. Once the kids and I move out to Arizona, we're planning on taking it easy for a little while, with as little stress as possible, by moving on base into base housing. There aren't going to be gay couples in base housing, damnit. This is why I'm sure that the door to my dream is slowly closing.

What if Hubby and I end up staying in Arizona for the remainder of his enlistment, in base housing? I will probably never have a gay neighbor. The most I could possibly hope for is a couple where the wife is a lesbian, and the husband is gay, and the marriage is a sham to get more money out of the government, or for benefits, or to please one of their sides of the family.

I've come across quite a few of those in my time as a military wife.

But, I don't see the possibility of living next door to an openly gay couple, who is military, who have adopted a child or two; not for at least, what, another 10 years, if ever? Hubby will be out in 6, damnit.

Lee and Bob, Desperate Houswives
What I wouldn't give for base housing to be like Wisteria Lane on Desperate Housewives. Oh... my... gosh... that would be amazing. I would never get bored during the day, and I'd have my very own Lee (the 'wife' of the gay couple on the show) to sit back, drink wine with, and just watch the craziness going on, while talking smack about it all.

Sigh.

So, I can either sit here and keep my fingers crossed that the government understands that I have a dream, and that in order to fulfill that dream, they need to legalize gay marriage and accept it in the military, so I can have a gay neighbor... or accept the fact that my dream is being slowly squashed, and if I ever have my dream fulfilled, it will be after Hubby gets out of the military.

I don't like this one bit. I have a dream, damnit, and that's what America is made of, right? Dreams? The right to fulfill those dreams? Isn't that what this country was founded on? Then I want base housing with a cute gay couple living next door, who have kids, who I am best friends with the stay-at-home-dad half of the couple. What part of that is hard to understand?

For now I'll have to settle for a woman, military wife, stay-at-home-mom best friend, I guess. I don't get along with women, believe it or not. Any woman I have extremely clicked with in my life generally doesn't get along with other women, either. We bond over the fact that we aren't 'normal' women. Most women think I'm a bitch, so if you can make it past that, or be a bitch back to me, then more than likely we'll get along great.

Which is why I'd prefer my best friend to not have a vagina, but not be attracted to vaginas either. That way, I can be a huge bitch, and they'll just bitch it right back to me. The thought makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

A girl can dream, huh?





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