Sunday, May 13, 2012

Milk It, Moms! It's Your Day!

To start off, I want to say Happy Mother's Day to everyone. We moms should pat ourselves on the back; we made it through another year of motherhood without killing anyone (or hiding the body really well so it seems like you didn't kill anyone), completely giving up and hiding in bed for a year (a day or two or week is fine), and with more knowledge and grace to tackle another year of this.

Oh good dear gracious.

As I sat back and thought about the answer to the question I was being asked over and over and over and over (and over and over and over) again by my children of, 'Moooommmm, what do you want to doooooooooooo for Mother's Day?', I found that my mind wandered a bit. What did I want to dooooooo for Mother's Day?

Sleep in would be nice. Maybe have breakfast made for me. Have a clean apartment without having to lift a finger. Be lazy all day and have the kids wait on me hand and foot for a change.

Oh my goodness, all of these options sounded, well, almost orgasmic. No picking up dirty socks off the floor for a day, getting to watch whatever I wanted to on TV, having coffee brought to me...

Yes... yes.... YES!!!!

Screw a fancy, expensive dinner out. If my kids were making dinner, PB&J was fine with me, as long as I
didn't have to put the crap back in the cabinets and wash the dishes. Screw flowers that would inevitably die in a few days and then I'd have to clean that up. Hubby did have handmade chocolates (from EH Chocolatier- absolutely freaking amazing) sent to me, after, well, a few hints here and there, so what would be better than sitting back, relaxing, and eating those chocolates while watching a movie that want to watch, in an apartment that I didn't have to clean?

A foot rub while all of this was going on. That would be the icing on the cake, holy crap. Wonder if I can get The Girl to do that... will have to try that out!

I'm actually not a tough woman to amuse or impress. Hell, I used to tell people that a Happy Meal and a Redbox movie and I'm set for the night, better than a pig in mud. So, if I'm spending time with my kids (the whole reason I get to celebrate Mother's Day in the first place), then yes, I'm completely fine.

Well, spending time with my kids and getting treated like a queen, of course. That's all I ask on Mother's Day.

All moms deserve to be treated like a queen, and not just one day a year (two if we get to be queens on our birthdays, too). We do everything for our kids, our families, our homes, and we get 1, maybe 2 days a year to truly relax, and yes, that's if we're lucky enough to have older kids, or a significant other to help out with everything that day.

Hell, yesterday I went to the grocery store, and on the day before Mother's Day, the grocery store was packed with nothing but women. The few men I saw were either in the flower section or the bakery. So, it made me wonder if we moms had to prepare our Mother's Day for our families? Buy the food, plan the menu, buy our own presents perhaps? Sheesh, we really do it all

Damn! Where do I sign up for this breakfast?
So, one day of being treated like a queen isn't too much to ask, is it? One day where someone else cleans, cooks, looks after the kids, and the most we have to worry about is whether we want to watch a chick flick or a family movie, if we should have another cup of coffee brought to us, and whether or not we really have to pee bad enough to get out of bed or if we can hold it a little longer.

And, if you are like me, you've already been milking Mother's Day. I started Friday night. I kid you not. We watched a movie I wanted to watch because I played the Mother's Day weekend card. Then yesterday. Oh, holy crap, I didn't get out of bed until 1:30. Yep. Had a cup of coffee and a piece of toast brought to me for breakfast, and ramen brought to me for lunch, courtesy of my oldest. And the only reason I emerged at 1:30 was because I was completely caught up on this season of How I Met Your Mother, and I needed to shower. I felt funky.

Moms, take my advice on this one (and yes, I realized I should have posted this on Friday so those who wanted to could have implemented my philosophy this year)- milk Mother's Day as long as you can. Sure, the dishwasher may not be loaded correctly or run at all, the eggs and pancakes for breakfast are more than likely going to be burnt, your coffee not sweet enough, that foot rub will feel like iron nails being dragged down the soles of your feet, and your bed will seem a little snugger, because if you refuse to get out of it, then the herd will come to you, but to me, those are absolutely the most amazing consequences ever of having beautiful kids, that you love with all of your heart, taking care of you for the day.

I wouldn't change the shoulder rubs The Girl gives me, that feel like she's attempting to figure out the Vulcan death grip near my neck, for anything. To me, they are perfect.

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