Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Becoming a 'Screw You' Mom

I'm on the internet this morning, researching for what I thought was going to be my next blog post, and I got up to make a cup of coffee. There on the counter is The Ginger's lunch. Yeah, the kids left for school an hour ago. What am I doing about it?


I put it back in the fridge, and continued making my cup of coffee. I have the day off from work, and nothing planned except dying my hair, laundry and reading more of the book I was sent to review.

I know some of you moms reading this are like, 'Oh my gosh, you have to go take him his lunch.'

No, I don't. By law, the state has to feed him a lunch. It will be peanut butter and jelly, milk, and a piece of fruit, but it's lunch. And yes, I will owe $1.20 for that sandwich tomorrow, which I will pay for. My son plays in the morning. 'Ginger, get your socks on; Ginger, get your shoes; Ginger, put your homework folder in your book bag; Ginger, get your lunch.' That's a typical morning for me. So, The Ginger knows what he has to do every morning. He knows he shouldn't walk out of the house without his lunch, and yet, this morning he was so distracted by his Legos that he forgot it. There are consequences to his actions, and he needs to learn that.

Mothering styles are just as diverse as mothers themselves.
Suddenly, a lightbulb came on, and I ran to my computer and started typing. (Crap, my coffee is still sitting below the Keurig... need to get that...). This book that I'm reviewing brings up different types of moms, and so many articles on the internet are written about the same thing. Some articles say there are 5 mom types, some say 6, some say 11.

When I saw my son's lunch sitting there and decided to do nothing about it, I briefly wondered what type of mom that made me. Then it hit me:

Why the hell are we moms put into categories?

Various articles said there are Helicopter Moms who hover over their every children's move, Lazy Moms who let the kids pretty much do whatever, Tiger Moms who are all about pushing their kids to be successful, Hippy Moms who are all about creating a loving, peaceful environment to raise their kids, Best Friend Moms who would rather be pals with their kids than moms, Super Moms who think of everything, prepare for it, and handle it with grace, Hypothetical Moms who make their kids think for themselves and learn consequences for their actions, and the list goes on and on.

Um, yeah, that's me. All of those. It all depends on the situation, my mood, how much my kids have annoyed me that day... Yeah.

The articles seemed to have forgotten the Bitch Mom who says no to everything and just needs to be grounded to her room with cheesecake and wine (usually happens at the same time every month), and the Yes Mom who is scared to death of her kids growing up to hate her, so she says yes to everything. Some days I'm those moms, too.

And none of the articles at all included a Happy Mom who doesn't necessarily fit into any category because she's doing the best she possibly can, and as long as her kids are happy and well adjusted, she really doesn't give a crap what type of mom she is. On the flip side of that, I didn't see on any lists a Worry Mom who is constantly in a state of panic that she's screwing her kids up, so she over thinks every mom move she's ever made and will ever make.

Hey, good to know Madonna is a
Screw You Mom, too!
Damn, I'm those two moms on any given day, too.

So, what do we moms do about society trying to nitpick our mothering techniques and categorize us? We become a Screw You Mom. Screw You for trying to judge me, for trying to say that one mothering technique is any better than another, for trying to analyze my kids based on what mothering technique you think I have, for trying to take everything I do as a mother and put it into one nice, neat, little category, for comparing me to other moms, for trying to make me doubt or question how I have chosen to raise my kids.

If I want to hover over my child's every move one day, and let them spread their wings and fly the next, I will. If I want to drive my kid's lunch to him one day, and refuse to do so to teach him a lesson in responsibility the next time, I will. I will do what I feel is best for my kids at that time, and as we all know, times change. So for me, what's good one day isn't necessarily good for the next. And no one is going to tell me differently.

So that's me, a Screw You Mom. I'm doing my best here, and so far my kids are well adjusted. Hell, my techniques haven't killed them, so I'm doing something right. But, any given day I'm any of the moms listed above, so don't try and put me into a box. I don't like boxes. Boxes turn me into Angry Mom and no one wants to deal with her, I promise, because there's a chance she can turn into Burying Bodies Mom.

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  1. Love this post. I fit in the screw you mom category as well and could care less about what others thing.

    1. Thank goodness. This post had crickets and echos surrounding it when I originally posted it. Good to know I'm not alone! =)