Saturday, May 19, 2012

8 Things an 'Old Mom' Does During Her Kid Free Weekend

My kids have been gone for going on 2 days now. My brother in law came and picked them up Thursday afternoon, after school, and I don't go to pick them up until this afternoon.

It's been amazing.

I love my kids, please don't misunderstand that. But, as every mom out there knows, sometimes we just need a break!

Since I moved here in September, I have had 4 weekends without the kids, including this one. During the last one, Hubby took me to an amazing hotel and we had dinner at The Melting Pot. The time before that I went to the Native American sweat lodge, and the time before that, well, let's just say I had hit an extreme bump in my road, reality had finally set in, and I spent the weekend in an empty apartment with vodka to accompany me... at least, that's what I remember of that weekend (there was a blog post written that weekend. It has since been deleted. I didn't want the evidence. Sorry.)

So, when I thought about not having the kids for a few days, I got so excited. Oh, the possibilities. I could sleep in, I could go see an adult movie in theaters (well, not an adult movie, but y'all get what I'm saying), I could watch whatever food documentaries on TV I wanted to without hearing them complain, I could heavily drink... ahh, yes, endless possibilities.

Here's a list of what I actually did while the kids were gone... Man, I've gotten old.

8 Things an 'Old Mom' Does During Her Kid Free Weekend
  1. Go pantsless. I would have walked around my apartment naked, but my sister is here, so that's a no-go. But, I did walk around in a T-shirt and underwear, no PJ pants, which, if the kids were here, I'd hear, 'Gross, Mom, go put on some pants, please. Eww, Mom's not wearing pants.' Do I do it anyway when the kids are here? Yep, sure do, and I'll do stupid dances in my underwear just to put the icing on the cake. But, I didn't hear any of that this weekend while I walked around in my scivvies. It was nice.
  2. Go on a Date. I went to dinner and a movie with my sister. Did we have to see a PG movie? Nope. We saw 'What to Expect When You're Expecting'. Amazing movie, by the way, that I would not have taken the kids to. It's not in our range of inappropriate for the kids to watch, but not something I would take them to the theaters to see. And, my sis and I ate at Red Lobster- way too expensive if we have the kids with us. I ate my seafood stuffed shrimp in void of 'stop kicking me' or 'Mom, can I have a bite of yours?' Ahh, bliss.
  3. Be Obnoxious in WalMart. After dinner and a movie, my sis and I decided to go shopping at WalMart without hearing, 'Mom can I have...' or 'How much longer until we leave?' It was peaceful, well, except for the fact it was WalMart. But, I decided to dance through the aisles singing, 'Afro Circus' from the Madagascar 3 trailer. To be completely honest, I would have done this even if the kids were with us. It's just how I roll in WalMart; I feel I fit in better with the WalMartians this way. (If you haven't heard 'Afro Circus' yet, I wouldn't hit the play button below. It's addictive. And hilarious.)

  4. Eat Cheesecake Without Hiding. Yes, Sis and I bought cheesecake while at WalMart (so, not real cheesecake, but what they call cheesecake), and when I got home, I took my pants off (see #1) and ate 2 slices... slowly... enjoying each savory bite... without hearing, 'Mom, can I have a bite?'... without faking diarrhea and hiding in the bathroom to eat it. And yes, I ate 2 slices. It was amazing.
  5. Sleep In. Yeah, this was on my list. Did it freaking happen? No! I'm a little pissed about this one. My internal clock woke me up Friday in time to get the kids to school (no kids, no school), and this morning I woke up, checked my email and such on my phone, saw that Inklings had been knocked out of the Top 25 over at Top Mommy Blogs by a blog entitled 'PoopPeePuke' that has horrible reviews, was a little upset (who am I kidding, I was pissed, and my dignity as a mom blogger slightly shattered. Not exaggerating there, sorry to say.) and decided that coffee would make it better. Coffee, and writing (my zen moments)... writing about 'Afro Circus' apparently. Sheesh. (Please tell me you watched the video above? I know I said not to before, but now you have to. It's amazing. And, if I have this song stuck in my head, y'all should, too.) So, I didn't sleep in. But, I was able to...
  6. Nap. Every day that I have off work or I get off early to get my kids off the bus, I get tired... right around the time the bus comes. So, I have to forgo a nap to go get them, then it's snack time, homework time, cooking dinner time, eating dinner time, shower time, family time, kids' bedtime, Mommy time, and my bedtime. As you can see, no nap time. So, yesterday when I got home from work, I was a bit tired, and out of habit I looked at the clock; time for the bus to come. Wait, no kids, no school... no bus! Hell yeah. I laid down on the couch and passed in and out of consciousness until Hubby called me. 
  7. Drink Heavily. Or not. I told my sister last night that I couldn't believe I didn't crack open a bottle of wine, get into the vodka again (maybe not to the extent of last time), or even have a drink at dinner. Man, I'm old. The last time I drank was during a #wineparty on Twitter about 2 months ago; I had 3 glasses of wine and was 3 sheets in the wind. I may have had one glass since then. Oh, well. I'm coming to terms with not being a drinker. I think.
  8. Have a Quiet Saturday Morning. When I finally decided to get up and nurse my bruised blogging pride with coffee, I just sat for a moment before writing this post. No, 'Hey, Mom, can I play video games?' or 'Mom, can I watch TV?' or 'Mom, what's for breakfast?' Just me, my coffee, and my computer (and 3 cats, and a sister who is sleeping in the back, so I can't pull off my clothes, play 'Afro Circus' really loud and dance to it naked... damnit). This has been one of the most amazing moments so far. After I get done writing this, I can choose to play on the internet, watch some food documentaries (have I mentioned I'm nerd... a really big nerd... a few times, right?), make another cup of coffee, or go back to sleep. Not sure which I will choose, but I'll be relaxing while I do it.
I do call myself an 'Old Mom' because I don't go out and party when I don't have the kids, and I'm perfectly happy staying at home and just being lazy. I truly hope I don't offend anyone with that statement, (which is not like me; normally I don't care who I offend, but this time it's different for some reason) and that you all understand I mean it as a positive thing. I don't look down at the moms who do go out and let loose when they don't have the kids; I was definitely there a few years ago. I'm just not anymore.

What do you all do when you are kidless?

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  1. I love the kidless moments. Love my babies but to have some "ME" time is awesome. I tend to find the good food when the kids are gone also. And a movie of my liking. = ) OK before I leave your site, I will go watch your Circus AFRO video. = )


    1. Polka dot, polka dot, polka dot... AFRO!! Lol.