Sunday, May 20, 2012

4 Wheelers and... God's Will????

I'm treading on thin water today. There are some topics I chose to not ever dive into when I started my blog, because, while I enjoy a good debate every once in a while, many people today can't debate; they have to argue, and topics that make people argue spread across the internet like herpes in a whore house. I don't want Inklings to be herpes.

Today's post borders on one of those topics. So, I have decided to tell the story of what happened yesterday, and leave it at that. I welcome any and all comments about the topic, as long as they are respectful and adult. So, let's play nice, okay?

Yesterday was a family get together of Hubby's family. I love my husband's family, I really do. When I left him years ago, they all stood beside him, as they should, but when we got back together, they welcomed me back with open arms, and made me family again. These people are truly amazing.

So, we're out there, in the boondocks (have I ever mentioned I'm from the country... like, no McDonald's or WalMart where I'm from type of country), and someone had brought a 4 wheeler- a suped up 4 wheeler that sounded like an entire group of motorcycles. They get it off the truck and start going through the field, and I think to myself, 'There is no way my son, who is a little on the fragile side, would ever get on that thing,' so, I headed inside to socialize (yes, there were adults outside with the kids and the 4 wheeler). When I went inside, my nephew (who is 7) and Hubby's cousin (his 4 wheeler, and he's like 20, I think) were on the 4 wheeler.

A few minutes later, someone looks out the window and sees that an accident has happened. We all go running outside, me coming up the back, all relaxed, because I just knew neither of my kids were on it.

Wrong. The Ginger was being escorted up the hill by his sister and his other cousins, tears streaming down his face.

Yes, panic struck, and trying to get the story of what happened from two 10 year olds and a 9 year old is
quite difficult. I checked him over, and physically, he's fine. They told me he was driving, and Hubby's cousin (the 20 year old) was on the back, told The Ginger to hit a button, The Ginger hit the button, the 4 wheeler's front wheels went straight up in the air, and the 20 year old went straight off the back, and landed on his neck.

Knowing that my son was safe (which yes, was a miracle in itself that he didn't go flying off of it, too), I wanted to go into Momma Mode and ask why in the hell they were letting the 7 year olds drive a freaking 4 wheeler that's 3 times the size of them, instead of having them sit in someone's lap. And, for those that are reading this, wondering where the helmets were... this is the south, in the boondocks, nonetheless. There's no such thing as helmets with a 4 wheeler. Seriously. Sad to say, but it's true. I chose to not go into Momma Mode in light of going to see how Hubby's cousin was doing, and being quite concerned about my son, because he had yet to speak a word at this point, and was still crying.

They decided to take Hubby's cousin to the hospital, as he was seeing stars, forgetting things and a massive lump was forming on the back of his head. I'll skip ahead in the story to let you all know that he's fine. No broken neck, no brain bleeding, no fractured skull, just a pretty nasty concussion. Thank the heavens above, right? It could have been so much worse.

So, rewind, and about 45 minutes had gone by since the accident, and my son still had not uttered a word. He was done crying, but was holding on to me for dear life and not talking to anyone at all, not even my nieces and nephews, who are all around his age. I figured he needed time to process everything.

We sit down to eat, and randomly, The Ginger finally spoke. 'I almost killed someone today,' was all he said.

My heart broke. Everyone at the table told him it wasn't his fault, it was an accident, that the 20 year old wasn't holding on and was leaning off the back, and shouldn't have had him driving in the first place. No one blamed The Ginger for anything, and everyone was quite worried about him.

He started to ease up a little after that, and ran outside to play with the other kids. That's when my mother in law came and told me something that, well, made my blood boil.
So, did God's hands come down
and push the 4 wheeler over?
Just curious...

Two of my nieces there, 10 and 9 years old, sisters, told The Girl that it was, 'God's will that he fell off the back of the 4 wheeler to teach him a lesson about not holding on.'

I will say that my mother in law spoke with the little girls about their statement, and how she didn't feel that was accurate because as a mother, she'd never want her children to get hurt to teach them a lesson, but the girls didn't seem to want to hear it.

These same little girls had my daughter in tears back at Christmas because they told her since our family doesn't go to church, that Hubby and I were going to burn in hell.

That's my story about what happened yesterday. As I said in the beginning, I'm telling the story and leaving it. I welcome any and all comments presented in a respectful way, and I will reply to each and every comment I receive. I enjoy a good debate, and if this can be done as a debate, then bring it on...

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  1. Sometimes, I want to smack people and then tell them, "It was God's will so that you'd learn how to keep your mouth shut." Right. You said respectful. Sorry, this one just gets under my skin too deep.

    1. Well, we wondered had something worse happened, if that would have been God's will, too. It's been a big family 'thing', but we're mostly affected by it because our kids are exactly the same age, so we have to play damage control whenever they see each other.

      I *may* have to use your smack thing if I ever hear that from an adult. Sounds like something I'd do, lol. Thanks for the idea!

    2. Well, since M is being such a good example, I'll answer this for real. Darn good examples; they ruin all my fun.

      So, yes, it would have been God's will. When my uncle died in a motorcycle accident, the preacher at his funeral said that this was God's will. He didn't want my uncle suffering anymore. (He had just finished going through a very messy divorce.)

      I actually feel sorry for those kids. They're just doing what they were taught. They'll go back to church and hear this again and again. My middle boy was devastated when some kids at school that he considered his friends forced him to leave their lunch table because he didn't believe in god and was going to hell. The school counselor infuriated me when she told him to "avoid Christians." Seriously? That's not going to solve the problem.

      Oh well. The thing that is so hard on our children, and thereby hard on us, is the realization that people that we love believe we're going to hell, or that the god that is supposed to love us would hurt us to teach us a lesson. I can't understand how we are then supposed to trust that our parents, who can never be as good as god after all, will not hurt us on purpose.

  2. When I was a teenager, a 'friend' of mine told me that I would be going to hell because my parents were divorced. Thing is, I had been brought up to understand the difference between right and wrong AS WELL AS the fact that morality is not carved in stone, that there are shades of gray, and that people can be idiots (particularly when they're being self-righteous). I stopped being friends with that girl at that moment and I didn't let it bother me. Yeah, I was older than your kids, but as long as you're teaching them to think for themselves and to understand that other people aren't necessarily right just because they sound certain of something, they'll be fine. As for those girls, though ... I would have a word with their mom, if it's not likely to create a massive family rift or anything. They need to learn better.

    1. Ha, funny you should mention divorce. My daughter told me on the way home today that these same 2 girls told her that divorce is sinning against God, so she's glad her dad and I got back together. I asked her if she honestly believed the sinning part, and she said no, but she does get scared about what she hears when she visits them. I just told her to pay them no mind. It's been fun... NOT! Lol.

  3. I can't answer on this one. You want me to play fair and I am the "not so nice Irish" these days. Wish I could spit out what I really WANT TO SAY! I'm glad you Ginger is ok and glad he has good people to tell him that accidents happen and he didn't almost kill someone. Poor guy.


    1. LOL, I can only imagine. I just didn't want anyone getting on here and calling my (married into) family any names, you know? I have chosen to remain pretty silent on my exact thoughts, too, which is hard.


  4. I will opt to go straight to being thankful everyone is okay. My heart broke when I read what The Ginger said, and I'm so glad everyone straightened him around.

    As for God's will ... I'm not sure I can speak intelligently about this, but it's making me think. Here are my thoughts.

    The girls who said this are 9 and 10 years old. Children, yes? Children say all kinds of things - some are true and some are truly foolish. As for having your Girl in tears about something they said ... that sucks. And, it probably isn't the first time - nor will it be the last - that someone says something hurtful. Not knowing you, not being in the room(s) with you, I still get the sense that you're doing a good job teaching your kids your values, your morals, your truths.

    This is all well and good coming from a 30(cough5) year old with plenty of experience. But I trust your kids have a great example in you in dealing with the cruel things other people say.

    Regardless, hugs to all three of you in dealing with that sitch.

    1. Thanks for your amazing words.

      I told my daughter today that we are leaving in a month and won't be back, permanently, for 6 years. In those 6 years, I will teach her whatever she wants to know about belief systems, and when we return in 6 years, she'll be able to argue with her cousins based on her own beliefs.

      She liked that, lol.