17 Things I'd Do If I Were President
- We would have a nationwide mandatory nap time from 2pm-3pm every day.
- Stay-at-home moms would get paid by the government for their job. Not like welfare, but a legitimate paycheck. They would get raises if their kids are doing well in school, kept healthy, and well-adjusted, and get pay cuts if their kids take a gun to school, or do drugs, or are not a functioning, positive member of society. Yes, drug tests will be held for the stay-at-home moms, too, and anyone failing the hardcore drugs will be fired immediately from their position.
- Women's clothing sizes below size 6 will be dropped from all clothing lines. Size 11/12 will be the new 'skinny'. If you want to have a size 0 ass, then you'll have to pay the government to have an 'I don't eat on a regular basis' card to buy special clothes.
- Teachers would be given raises, and funding put back into the schools for art, music, theater, wood shop, etc. These are the courses where children find their callings, where personalities are formed, and yet they are the first to be cut from schools when money gets tight.
- Coffee and cheesecake would be given complimentary at the end of every meal at a restaurant, like the rolls at the beginning of the meal. Just a small piece of cake so you still have the option to buy a bigger one.
- Nationwide healthcare. Affordable. Fair. Safe. 'Nuff said.
- I would legalize weed. Seriously, I would. I don't smoke weed or do drugs of any kind, but I do know that alcohol related deaths are almost in the 100,000 range per year, but the number of deaths from weed are less than 50 a year, and none of them site weed as the primary cause of death. The government could legalize weed, regulate it, and boost this economy. Hardcore, or man made drugs? Nope, they need to stay illegal, and more needs to be done about getting rid of them altogether.
- Anyone found guilty of crimes against a child or woman will be given the death penalty. I don't want a nation with child molesters, child abusers, rapists, and wife beaters.
- Creepy clown dolls would all be burned, or placed in a museum behind super-reinforced glass and iron bars, so people that like creepy clown dolls could go see them if they wanted to, but the creepy clown dolls can't be free to eat our souls.
- Fast food places would be highly regulated to where they would either have to drastically change their menus in favor of healthy meals, or shut down altogether.
- Marriage would be legal... all marriage... between 2 consenting adults, regardless of race, sex, religious affiliation, etc. We need to re-teach the world what love is, and restricting it teaches hate.
- Every woman gets a check, once a month, for things like chocolate, cheese, bread, ice cream, chips, wine, and tampons... if we are calmer during our monthly visitor, the world is a better place.
- Raises for US military. They are risking their lives; they deserve more money for that.
- Big corporations would have to donate at least 30% of their profits back to the community, or to a charity that they did not create. There's no reason for places like WalMart to be clearing billions of dollars each year in profit, and our school systems and towns are crumbling. Sheesh.
- Certain aspects of photoshopping will be made illegal. Retouching and airbrushing people to look skinnier, or healthier than they really are, will be a crime. If models don't want people seeing the black circles under their eyes, they need to sleep. We need to stop lying to the youth of America with ads and pictures that are photoshopped so much they no longer look like the person in the picture, and stop sending the message that the people in those pictures are real, because they aren't.
- Natural healing, homeopathy, nutrition and alternative medicine would be made a legitimate healthcare option, and would be made available by my new healthcare system.
- Make nationwide courses on nutrition, spirituality (finding your spiritual self, not religion), nature conservation and going green, and preparing for the zombie apocalypse, readily available, and give people attending these classes a small tax break. These are all topics that need to be brought to light.
|You are GONE, creepy clown doll.|
|Courtesy of TShirtBordello|
And just so y'all know, Will Smith would be my Vice President. He's saved the world from aliens, battled zombies, been a superhero, has been a cop, fought for a better life for him and his son as a salesman, and worked with robots. What better Vice President could you have?