Monday, April 23, 2012

Be a Bitch, Not a... Yeah

Don't be that woman...
Disclaimer: This post has some not-so-typical-of-Tatted-Mom adult language in it, worse than what I normally post. It's a subject that boils my blood, and there was only one word I could think of to describe it. So, if you are easily offended by extremely strong language, you might not want to read this post.

I have a piece of advice for any woman going through a divorce...

There are times to be a bitch, and then there are times to cool the hell off. Don't always be a bitch, especially if you aren't one to begin with.

Now, hold on one second before you misunderstand me. I'm a huge advocate for being a bitch; I devoted an entire post to how being a bitch can be empowering. But, there are times in life where you need to smile, shake your head yes, and tie the bitch up and put her in the closet. Seriously.

We have to rewind a few weeks to what I witnessed that was the motivation for this post.

It was Easter Sunday. Hubby, the kids and I had headed over to my dad's house for an Easter egg hunt. My dad lives with his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's son was there too, waiting on his 2 daughters to arrive. He and his daughters' mother are going through a divorce at the moment, and apparently there had already been an altercation about Easter Sunday prior to the actual day.

Her family's function was from 12pm-5pm that day. We planned our Easter egg hunt for 11am to accommodate her schedule. We won't even go into how 1 hour for the kids to spend with their dad on Easter is not even close to equal to the 5 hours the children would be spending with their mother's side of the family (Bitch Move #1), but anyway... Because Hubby and I knew the festivities would be done by 12, we scheduled to head to his brother's house for another egg hunt and dinner, which we would have to leave by 12:30 to attend. We told my dad about this before we got there, and he informed everyone of our plans.

We showed up around 10:45, so we could start the egg hunt right at 11. 11 comes and goes; no soon-to-be ex-wife and kids. My dad's girlfriend texts her; they are "just around the corner". 11:15, 11:30, 11:45, nothing; damn, that's a long corner. Somewhere around that time is when Dad and his girlfriend tell us that this is completely typical of the soon-to-be ex. She never drops the kids off when she's supposed to, and there's a huge custody battle going on right now between them, with her never sticking to the agreement.

At this point, my blood is boiling. We had to leave at 12:30, and the way it was going, the egg hunt was
never going to happen. Why did she have to be an uber bitch today? I'm not apart of their divorce, so whatever they need feel the need to fight about doesn't bother me one bit, but when there are extended people waiting on your ass, pack the bitch up and put her away for a little while. Plus, and here lied the core of me being pissed off: This day wasn't about you, you selfish bitch. It was about the children. Them, spending time with their father and grandmother and having an Easter egg hunt. You have now made this all about you, and how you didn't want them spending any time with their father on a holiday, and as a result, your children have suffered. Way to go, you aren't a bitch, you are a c#nt (yeah, I brought out the big guns today).

Their daughters play amazingly with my kids; they are all roughly the same age, and on weekends Dad's girlfriend has her grandchildren, they usually plan big outings and take my kids, too. So, these two little girls knew they were going to Grandma's house, where 2 of their friends were waiting, to have an Easter egg hunt and play.

She showed up with the girls at 11:59... one hour after she was supposed to. I started to head outside, to have a woman-to-woman chat with her, but my dad told me that, because of the battles they are going through, that would only hurt his girlfriend's son. Why? I'm nothing to them. Why would my opinion, and chewing her out on a mother level hurt him? Because she's that much of a bitch, was my dad's answer. So, I sat inside, held my tongue, and watched as she opened the door to the truck, the girls got out and jumped up and tackled their dad, he said a few words to her, and she, bitch lips just flapping, peeled out of the driveway.

We rushed through an egg hunt, the girls didn't get to really play with my kids at all because their mother had robbed us of an hour of time, and now it looked like we were being rude by up and leaving 30 minutes after they get there. The girlfriend's son understood, and honestly didn't care, because he was at least getting to spend a little time with his girls. The little girls? They looked upset as hell, and cried at one point because they weren't seeing their dad for very long that day. Something I wish I could have videotaped and sent to the c#nt, actually. Way to go, you made your kids cry.

So again, my advice is there are times to be a bitch, and times to pack it up and just let things be. And furthermore, a Queen Bitch (a good one, like me- I have years of practice at this) would have handled this situation in a completely different way, so take notes: I would have made sure I was early or right on time, dropped the kids off, came inside and had a conversation with the strangers in there (my husband and I), wished us a Happy Easter, and then left. Why, if I was truly pissed about this situation? Think about it: everyone you are dealing with for this divorce knows you are a bitch, and not a good one. Your ex, his mother, his mother's boyfriend... so, you aren't saved during the custody battle, if they want to take into account family members' opinions. But complete strangers... you don't want the possibility of complete strangers knowing what an uber bitch you are and how you are not sticking to your custody agreement, or doing what you are required to by law... you want as few witnesses to that as possible (just like when you kill a person... sheesh). According to the outside world, you are a perfect mom, who is happy to fulfill the terms set in the custody agreement, and all this talk that his side of the family does about you being a bitch is completely unfounded. Not that any of us would ever be called to the stand as a witness, but what if he asked? He has that right, to ask for character witnesses against her, and let me tell you, if the judge was there to ask my opinion that day, he would have gotten an earful.

So, sweetheart, while you think you are a bitch, you aren't, my dear. You, sorry to say, are a c#nt. There's a huge difference. Bitches rock; we have self confidence, we know when to be a bitch and when to pack it up, and how to use our bitchhood to make it work for us. You are nowhere near being a bitch. You are just some woman who screwed up Easter for your kids, your ex, his family, and another family. Wow, you are a trifling c#nt. That's even worse.

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  1. Tatted Mom- I couldn't agree with you more. There are plenty of women who think this is the ONLY way to handle a divorce. The fact is you are divorcing your spouse, your kids still have HUGE, IMPORTANT ties to that other parent. Truth be told you will be viewed as a c*nt by your children as well if that behavior persists.
    I have dealt with a c*nt of an ex for the last 13 years (my husband's ex). C*nty move of the year was not getting him a passport so that he could visit us at our new duty station (Germany). We have effectively missed ALL visitations this year since last summer. Women like these give the rest of us truly assertive women a bad name!

    Check out my blog at:

    1. Woo hooo! A new follower that isn't offended by the C word... welcome, welcome, lol. Glad to know you hate c*nts, too. =)

      Your blog is great! I email subscribed ('cause I'm lazy like that, lol).