Thursday, March 8, 2012

White Lies and Birthday Cake Oreos

The Girl turns 10 on Sunday.

Way to make a mom feel old, huh?

She tells me, ironically enough the day after posting about how we don't do big birthday parties, that she wants a big party with all of her classmates there. Then she goes on to tell me she wants it at a skating rink, or some other big arena.

Vetoed. I know, I'm such a bitch.

I asked her if she was really good friends with anyone in her class. Her answer? Not really. Then why want a huge party?

Presents, Mom, presents.

So, I explained to her what I explained to everyone in the blog post the previous day, that if she doesn't have close friends, she doesn't need to be greedy and invite people she barely knows. She seemed bummed, until we started talking about alternatives.

Movies? Shopping? Laser tag? Museums? Big dinner? Pedicures and manicures?

She began to perk up.

She's turning 10; that's a huge milestone in a kid's life. The guilt of not doing big parties started setting in with me, because this is such an important birthday. I realized pretty quickly that we, as a family, needed to do something big to make up for my blunder.

So, I gave her the choice of playing laser tag, going to her school's winter carnival, or having her first pedicure and manicure. Little does she know, we're doing all 3.

It's going to be an exhausting weekend.

The fun part, too, is that I'm making her cake this year. It's going to be chocolate cake, chocolate fondant icing, with zebra stripes and bright purple icing. Don't worry, my funny ass attempt at a fancy schmancy cake will be documented here at Inklings, I promise.

In true Tatted Mom style (because I can't have her think everything is peachy keen; I have to have the pleasure of torturing my kids a little) here's what The Girl has been led to believe:


  • She has her choice of one of the three activities above, because, well, money is extremely tight right now. She's leaning towards pedicure and manicure, but is begging me to consider doing laser tag, too. I'm currently 'thinking about it'.
  • Her birthday cake is a package of special edition birthday cake Oreos that are out right now. Yes, she honestly believes this is her cake. Why? Because I told her she's so picky when it comes to cakes that I thought since she and Oreo had the same birthday, that's extra special. So, she thinks we're putting a birthday candle in an Oreo this weekend. Holy shit, I'm cruel.
  • She is getting 1 present this year, and it's not jeans. In reality, we bought her stuff to make her own feather earrings (she's huge into those right now), and today I bought her 3 pairs of jeans.
I may tell white lies here and there to my kids, and lead them down crazy ass paths that otherwise would lead to disappointment and future therapy bills about how Mommy put a candle in an Oreo for their 10th birthday, but it's all in good fun, and always has amazing results. I love the shock factor with my kids; having them think one thing, then surprising them with what they wanted (or close enough to it). 

It's something that keeps me alpha dog, and keeps the kids always on their toes. When there's 2 kids and 1 mom, I'm outnumbered, and need all of the help I can get in these areas.

So, once again, I darted a big birthday party, but I know that what we have planned will create memories she'll probably never forget- her first manicure and pedicure, and first game of laser tag. I'm stoked. Let's just hope the 10 year old who thinks she's 19 is stoked, too.

If not, I won't hesitate to pop a candle in an Oreo and hide the chocolate zebra striped cake in my room for my sister and I to eat after the kids go to bed. Seriously, I'm that mom.





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