Not anymore, now that you have Tatted Mom's dictionary handy.
This list is of 10 words that, when you see them, you should automatically think dollar signs. Some of them are warranted for the extra money (like 'fair trade'), and some are just ways for the company to get money out of you. The list today is comprised of food words.
Artisan- usually found before 'Bread' or 'Sandwiches'. Means it was made by a "skilled person", i.e. the pimply faced 16 year old virgin in the back, making minimum wage to save up for the latest edition of World of Warcraft.
Arugula- it's lettuce. Don't let them fool you, or charge you an extra $5 for it. They went outside the back door, picked whatever weeds were there, and threw it in your salad.
Asiago- fancy word for Italian cow's milk garlicy tasting cheese. The origins of asiago cheese are shrouded in deep mystery, meaning only Italian monks, who have sworn a vow of silence, who live as hermits in the remote Italian countryside, and are protected my ninjas, know where asiago cheese really comes from. My guess? Unicorn poop.
Bistro- defined as 'a small restaurant', understand that by calling themselves a 'bistro', they are going to jack
up the prices by at least 50%. That turkey and swiss sandwich? Costs you $5 for a footlong at some places, will cost you $8 for 6" at a 'bistro'.
Caramelized- usually found before 'onions' or 'carrots' on a fancy restaurant's menu. It means they just burnt the shit out of your onions and carrots and they are going to serve them to you anyway, and charge an extra $5.
Fair Trade- an amazing concept that is being implemented to help smaller, less developed countries be more sufficient when it comes to trading practices. Basically, it means that at one time, we used to take 1000 pounds of coffee from a third world country, and in return, give them a chocolate bar. A worldwide guilty conscience grew, and now we give them 1000 chocolate bars for 1000 pounds of coffee.
Grande, Tall and Venti- You just paid an extra $2.00 for your coffee because of those size names. Why? Because 'Small, Medium, and Large' were not quite stick-in-the-ass-ish for that place. (I get my coffee there, too, sometimes, don't feel bad.)
Organic- no pesticides, animals are allowed to roam free, no antibiotics... all of these things are encompassed by organic foods. Healthier? Yeah, probably. More expensive? You better believe it. My suggestion? Grow your own garden, make sure it's 'organic', then chock the prices up by 1000% and sell them at the farmer's market. You'll make a killing. (I eat organic, so don't feel bad.)
Vegan- means it's made with no animal byproducts, because most vegans say they don't eat anything with a face. I respect that and all, but it's weird. And, just because you chose not to put eggs or butter in your cake, then please don't try and charge me an extra $3 a slice because of the rare ingredients that went into it to simulate the eggs and butter.
I'm pretty damn sure there will be a part 2 of this series; this was absolutely too much fun to only do once!
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