Friday, January 27, 2012

A Mom Blogger's Confession

She's envious of that woman's blog, too.
I have a confession to make. I suffer from Blog Envy.

There's a mommy blog out there that I follow religiously (it will go unnamed because 1- I don't want her knowing I stalk her am a huge follower of hers, and 2- Because I don't want to draw readers to my site if they google her and this post comes up for them- see? I have integrity.). She's relatively new to the blogosphere, only been around for maybe 6 months or so, but she is 'the newest craze'.

The f*cked up thing, and where the deep dark core of my Blog Envy lies, is how I found her about a month ago. Not through someone sharing her link, not through any of the top mommy blog listing sites, but because a few months ago we seemed to have posted a very similar blog post, within a week or so of each other. Mine, which is one of my most shared posts, still shows up in my Google Analytics as a top viewed page, and when I clicked on the search terms used to find it, her blog came up, too.

My post? A few comments, mostly on Facebook. Her post? Like 20 comments.

And the Blog Envy began...
I scoured her site, reading everything I could, laughing my ass off (she really is hilarious), and causing my Blog Envy to grow with each click.

Her site on Facebook? Over 600 followers. My site on Facebook? Less than 100 followers.

How in the hell did she get that big, that quickly? She's been around for 1/4 of the time I have.

Yes, I understand I disappeared from the blogosphere for a while. Hey, everyone has to go through the moving-in-with-a-controlling-asshole-who-is-cheating-on-you-and-turns-your-whole-world-upside-down phase of their life, right? No? Damn, I didn't get that memo...

But, before I left, I was up and rising. Now that I'm back, my following is growing everyday, but not 600 followers in a few months kind of growing.

So, what makes her amazing?

She's truthful about motherhood. (I have that covered.)

She says whatever she wants. (Check.)

She's funny. (I've been told I'm humorous from time to time.)

And yet, she's getting contacted about doing a reality show about her family, and into my inbox recently came a generic request from a new website asking if they could do a guest post on my site.


Don't get me wrong, I don't blog for attention. Well, all bloggers blog for attention, for feedback, for other people to go, 'Hey, I agree', or 'Hey, that article really made me think', but I'm not out to have a book deal by the end of the month. It doesn't mean I don't sit back and think, 'What the hell am I doing wrong?'

I enjoy writing anything from antics that can only be filed under 'Only in This House' to informative articles on how I tackle certain parenting problems (she really only does the crazy antics in her life thing, without the informative articles), I've been featured on Blogher several times (she hasn't to my knowledge), and I was listed as a top 115 parenting resource this year (don't see the button proudly displayed on her page).

So why in the hell do I suffer from Blog Envy?

And, as a follow up, why in the hell is my blog not more popular? Where are my 600+ followers and my phone calls from reality show exploiters that I can turn down?

I give this blog all of me; well, all that's left after working 10 hours a day, raising 2 kids, keeping a house running and not losing my mind. On average, that's 1-2 hours a day on the days I work, 5-6 hours a day on the days I don't work.

Holy crap, I never thought about how much time goes into my blog before this exact moment. Damn.

Maybe that's it. Maybe she's some hermit somewhere, who spends from 6am until 10pm at night networking to get the word out, ignoring her kids, growing fat, missing out on life itself, and is miserable because her blog has taken over her life.

My Blog Envy could only hope, right? My logical side knows this isn't the truth, though (sigh).

So where does that leave me now? Still suffering from Blog Envy, still reading her posts everyday (seriously, she is funny), still putting in the hours that I do now with my blog, still writing what I want to write, and keeping my fingers crossed that somewhere along the line my hard work will pay off and Inklings will become popular...

...And cause Blog Envy in other mom bloggers, damnit.

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