Thursday, September 29, 2011

Forgiveness Isn't a Four Letter Word

There comes a time in every humor blogger's life where it's necessary to put aside the humor for a post or two and be serious. That day has come, Inklingers. There's a topic I've been wanting to cover for a little while now, and it's finally become time let the gates down and the seriousness flow.

This post, too, while great for anyone who comes across it, is meant more for women, as ladies, I will be speaking woman-to-woman to you all through it.

A few weeks ago my life fell apart. Everything that I thought I knew about my life went up in flames because of one simple carnal act (not on my part, to clear that up). What I was left with was feelings of hurt, betrayal, confusion and doubt, and with nothing to do, nothing keeping me in that town, I chose to leave it all behind and move back home with my family.

But first I tried to forgive. I tried very hard. Why? Because I loved the man I was with, mistakes happen, and I have one of the biggest hearts known to anyone. It wasn't hard... at first. Then, after a few days, the paranoia set in, the craziness, the severity of the situation settled in the back of my mind, the questions, the doubt... and, well, I lost it. After losing it, my next step is to run... now you know my grieving process....

In a very short amount of time, I processed everything in every way imaginable. I flipped this switch inside me and became the cold hearted bitch- not that I really was one, but that's what I had to show everyone on the outside. Inside I felt dead, like nothing would ever grow there again. I cried... a lot. I drank... a little because, well, my alcohol tolerance has gone way down in the past few months. I got angry and said exactly what was on my mind, no matter how hurtful or what the consequences could be of my words. I gave up. I gave in. I turned my back and walked away. I wondered what I had done wrong, what I could have done differently. That's when it hit me....

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Extreme Couponing, Through Tatted Mom's Eyes

Let's start out with complete honesty. I saw the show. Okay, I was addicted to the show. People sticking it to the man by going into a grocery store and walking out with $1000 worth of groceries for $100. Completely amazing, and yes, something I wanted to do... badly. So, a few months ago, I gave it a whirl. Z spent her days on the computer (as I had to work), printing off coupons and finding deals of the week. In the few months I extreme couponed, did I walk away with $1000 in groceries for $100? Not even close. My record was taking a $250 bill down to $160. I was beaming that day. Further shopping trips entailed an $80 savings and a $75 savings. Then the extreme couponing stopped, as things in life got real crazy. Z moved out, I moved towns, no time or internet for extreme couponing.

But the day is coming around again for me to start. I'm starting life over as a single mom, with my kids and my sister living under the same roof, right now with just the income as a part time sales associate to pay the bills. So, I'm rising to the challenge again, this time, to feed 4 mouths on about $200 a month. Yeah...

Now this is where the "Through Tatted Mom's Eyes" part comes in, because you all know I can't just write an article on how I'm going to accomplish this enormous feat I have ahead of me. I'm gonna lay down extreme couponing, from a realist's view...

Monday, September 26, 2011

Quick Rantings of a New Single Mom... Part 2

Okay, let's start by clearing something up real quick... I'm done! I have moved 4 times in the last year, twice cross-country, now 2 states away from where I was, and I'm done! DONE I SAY!!!

So, now that that's all cleared up, we can get on with today's post. I figured it would be an easy one today, to ease back into blogging on a regular basis (I now have interwebbies at my apartment!!!) To refresh your memory, earlier this year I had a post, Quick Rantings of a New Single Mom, where I jumped online real quick and gave a Tatted Mom style update, to start the ball rolling on my fans trusting that I'll be around again. So, in tradition of that (and seriously, how many times am I gonna go through this?) we have Quick Rantings of a New Single Mom Part 2 (and again, seriously, it's actually pretty effing funny if you pull up this post in one tab and the part 1 in another tab, but keep in mind they are written 7 months apart after another huge life change)...

So, my family and I made it safe and sound back to where it all began for me; I grew up in Virginia, and after messed up marriage and messed up relationship, I came back home to family. I'm currently in between jobs (sounds SO much better than unemployed), with 2 prospects on the horizon, 1 tattooing again and 1 back to work at a photography studio. I have my babies with me, including Zombie Kitty and her 3 babies, no friends this time because, well, all I need right now in my life is family... seriously.

In my first 48 hours as a made again single mom, I successfully:

  1. Lost my son at the gas station. Deja vu, right? Yeah, my son has a little bit of a bladder problem, so when he informed me in the middle of our 5 hour drive that he had to go, I pulled over at the first gas station. He took off out of the car and ran inside, straight to the men's room. Well, normally my ex-boyfriend would have gone into the bathroom with him, and not giving a lot of thought to how he wasn't there anymore, I just went and used the women's bathroom. Get done with my business, and wait outside of the men's bathroom. 1 minute... 2 minutes... a group of men come out, I stick my head into the door... no ginger boy. Panic sets in, I run through the gas station, outside to the car to find my son sitting in the back seat playing with the kittens. I cried, hugged him tightly, and explained to him what he did that scared mommy so much, and how he was going to the women's bathroom with me from now on. He doesn't like me being a single mom any more than I do...
  2. Channeled Martha Stewart for our first starting over home cooked meal... NOT! How about box mac and cheese and a salad? Yep, that's what I had the motivation for. 
  3. Realized a queen sized sleep sofa is not big enough for me and my sister, nor is it conducive to my back problems. The thing is, by the time we get everything set up correctly, I'll be sleeping in a twin bed... how depressing is that? 30 years old and in a twin bed... needless to say, dating is nowhere on my plate in the future...
Things have been much better this time around, but I think that's because I made the right decision to come back to family. They are always there for you, even at 8 o'clock on a Sunday morning to unload your moving truck into a storage unit. I had 2 jobs semi-lined up before I even got here, just have to swing by both places this week and get the ball rolling even more on me working once again. Things seemed to fall into place here, when everything else was falling apart where I was... so I had no choice but to leave. 

It's been a little harder to keep a smile on my face this time around. Everything has happened so fast that I guess I've just refused to really think about how messed up things got. I thought I had it all, and it quickly came tumbling down with one simple act... But everything happens for a reason, and for whatever the reason, I'm meant to be here, in Virginia, my kids and I, and my family. Lovers come and go, friends stab you in the back, and at the end of the day I have myself and my family to rely on. I really am lucky, and have to keep that thought in my head at all times.

So, here's to starting over yet again. Good news is, I have internet, so y'all will have a regular dose of Inklings from now on. I've missed blogging so much. And y'all thought I wouldn't be around again... you can't get rid of me that easily....




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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Zombie Kittens Everywhere!!

Just what the world needs... more Zombie Kitties. Bones became the proud mother of 3 zombie kittens late Friday night, and a fourth one early Sunday morning. Unfortunately the runt, one I named Crossroads, didn't make it, may he rest in peace.

The remaining 3 zombie kittens, and mama Zombie Kitty are all doing quite well. We have 2 orange tabby ones and a black and white one (mine).

Everyone needs to take cover once these babies turn 6 weeks old. Nothing better than a pack of Zombie Kitties roaming the earth....


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Still Alive (Barely)

I just wanted to do a quick update to say I haven't abandoned Inklings again. I'm going through yet another major life change which will more than likely have me as a truly single mom at the end of it. So, bare with me until I can get things straightened out and I will be back into the groove of things...