Thursday, October 13, 2011

Crack Fairy, Be Gone!

Seriously, who put my address on the Crack Fairy's first morning stopping list?

(As a disclaimer before I continue on with this post, my kids are not, nor have they ever been on any type of narcotic or illegal drug. The term 'crack' is used for humorous purposes only, to fully illustrate how my morning went. So put down the phone call to child services and sit back and enjoy this candid post.)

I was woken up this morning, 30 minutes before my alarm clock, to the sound of my children laughing and playing in their room.

I was immediately torn.

Sure, the sound of children laughing and playing was amazing, and I was proud of the fact that they could entertain themselves and not come and wake me up 30 minutes early, but seriously, it was 7 in the morning. I haven't even gotten out of bed yet, much less made it to the kitchen to even smell coffee.

Then I hear it.
Shhhh. (laughing) Be quiet. (laughing) Let's go sneak into Mom's room and wake her up...

Oh good dear lord, no, please. I have 15 minutes left on my sleep shift. 15 minutes, for the love of all things. So, naturally, I position myself to see the door out of the corner of my eye, but play dead in bed like a opossum. I see the door very slowly open, and 2 shadow figures creep into my room.

Then a kitten is shoved in my face.

Good morning, Mommy. Look how cute the kittens are this morning. They've been playing in our room. Look...

Kitten face in my face.

Laughter bursts out, and then the 90 miles and hour talking begins about how they woke up this morning with the kittens in their room, and they just had to get up and play with them.

That's when I begin to wonder why the Crack Fairy deemed it necessary to visit my children before 7 in the morning. I'm used to the afternoon visits, when they get out of school, and the kids are usually told to go play at the playground to get out this excessive amount of energy they all of a sudden acquired. But really, Crack Fairy? First thing in the morning now? We need to have a talk, seriously.

Then it hits me that there's no way in hell my kids should be this hyper this morning. Last night we had a bad thunderstorm come through, and my son ended up in bed with me because he was scared of the thunder and lightning. Considering I now sleep in a twin bed, well, put it this way- if a queen sized bed was too small for us to sleep next to each other because of his tossing, turning, and face slapping, a twin definitely won't do. So, shortly after he got in bed with me, he was back in his own bed, but it took him a while to get back to sleep. My daughter was awake at this point, too, so they should be zombies this morning. Not these hyper, laughing, up before the alarm clock, kids that they were.

Must have been a visit from the Crack Fairy. And honestly, if the Crack Fairy deems it necessary to continue to visit my kids this early in the morning, then Mommy's gonna need visits from the Xanax Fairy, or the Vodka Fairy, because visits from the Coffee Fairy just aren't going to suffice over time, and certainly aren't going to help my nerves.

Does the Crack Fairy visit anyone else's house in the morning? Or am I the only one??? Leave me comments below!!

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