I will be entering the world of single momhood here soon, the dating scene, the whole 9 yards of BS in my opinion. At the moment I have no want or desire to date. I'm just at a point in my life that I need to deal with my past discrepancies and take time out for myself. But it doesn't mean the thought hasn't crossed my mind of the day I will decide to throw myself back out there in the ocean of singles. And there's one thing that bothers me so much about having to do that-
Yep, you read that right. I'm worried about having to "compete" with the sluts of the world, and ladies, you know there's a lot of them out there. So today I want to cover what constitutes a slut, and what to do about them...
We've all seen them. Those girls at the bar or club, dressed in practically nothing, rubbing up on one guy, then another, and you know she's not going home alone at the end of her night. My question, from a woman's standpoint, is why? What's the purpose of being 'that girl'? Sure, we can assume she has daddy issues, or low self esteem, but what exactly is the appeal of going home with a complete stranger, letting them see you naked, and possibly never talking to them again? I honestly just don't get it...
So, I'll throw this out there early so you all can understand a little more of where I'm coming from: I can count on one hand the number of people I've been with in my entire life. Am I picky? Probably. Do I see the point in casual sex? Nope, not at all. For me, sex is an emotional thing, meaning, I have to have some sort of emotional feelings for a guy before I'll do the deed with them. Do we have to be in love? Nope. Does he have to have put in a little time to connect with me before I throw it all in (or take it all off)? Yep, sure does. Does that make me a prude? I don't think so.
So, what exactly constitutes a slut? Thefreedictionary.com defines 'slut' as:
Okay, check. But what exactly defines 'promiscuous' by today's standards? Is it the number of men, total, that a woman has been with in her lifetime? Is it the amount of sex this woman is having? Is it the frequency of multiple partners? Is it whether or not she puts out on the first date? And, we'll cover this more in a moment, but what about men of the same nature?? Double standards suck.
So, by definition, I have some friends who are, or have been in their past, 'sluts'. Would I consider them sluts? Nope. Would I call them sluts? Yep, in a loving, joking manner. Do I slap them upside the head when they share with me a one night stand story? Yep, but that's just the Mama Morgan coming out in me. But I don't see these women as the type of slut that today's post is about. So, seriously, what the hell?
So, where are the men that can take a look at (for hypothetical example purposes only) that short, strapless, definitely going braless dress that you can practically see vag hanging out of, the huge hoop earrings, the long, stringy hair, the giggly drunkenness, the fact that she's just hung all over 3 other guys at the bar, the chipmunk looking grin, the 'I want no strings attached sex' statement, and think, 'Slut alert. I'm staying away from her'? Do these guys exist? Or will my decency, the high self esteem I have to not be one of these girls, always come second best to the fact that the girl in the corner isn't wearing underwear and has holes in the side of her dress to where if she bends over just right, you not only will see ass and vag, but probably some side boob, too?
Yes, yes, I know what some of you are thinking. I wouldn't want a guy who is attracted to girls like that, anyway. And you are right. But it doesn't mean that the frustration isn't there.
And why aren't men called 'sluts'? I've used my fair share of 'manwhore' name calling in my time, but why is it that a girl can sleep with multiple guys and be called a slut, but if a guy has one fling after another, he's given a high five by society? I understand my post today is anti-slut, but the double standard blows chunks for those women who choose to be promiscuous. (For some reason) I do have their backs on that one (even though their backs are on the floor).
With the way of the world today, and all of the diseases that could kill you, I just don't understand this casual sex thing at all. I don't understand women who feel the need for it, who would risk their health, their reputation, their self worth, for it. Yes, sex is amazing. Yes, there is something about sex with a person that can't quite be accomplished through some alone time with yourself. But is it worth everything I just listed? For me, it isn't.