Sunday, February 27, 2011

Unicorns and Pixie Dust

Ahh, Inklingers, I'm hoping right now that you all aren't hating me. I have been majorly MIA lately, yes, but it's all for a good reason. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking- excuses are like..... yeah, we won't finish that one. But for today, I'm going to do an update post- Tatted Mom style of course, and then fingers crossed will be back to my regular blogging schedule after this. I have missed the blogging world; writing and getting my views out there, reading the blogs I follow regularly, everything. The withdrawals have been horrible....

But now I'm feeling fine; took my hit of the blogging world. Ahhhh, feels like unicorns and pixie dust...

So anyway, an update post, Tatted Mom style. I guess I'll start by thanking 'Motorola', who, by my calculation is probably the house across the street and to the left, on the corner, because, without their unsecured internet connection (that we can only pick up in the front left corner of my house- my bedroom, yay!), this blog post (and probably future ones for a while) wouldn't be possible. So, thank you 'Motorola'. Your signal might be 'low' to 'very low' most days, but it's enough for me to keep my readers happy, and keep me from paying for internet at the moment. A huge help. I'll bake you cookies once I get my first paycheck.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Quick Rantings of a New Single Mom

So, my family and I made it safe and sound to begin our new life. I'm currently at "work" (in quotation marks because 1-This is my old job, still not sure if I'm coming back to it, and 2-I'm not working anyway, I'm updating my blog for all my readers since I have no internet at the house),  wondering what the hell to do with my life. Seriously.

In my first 24 hours as a single mom, I successfully:
  1. Lost my son at the airport. By lost, I mean, he was curled up on the bench next to me, but being that it was midnight and all I wanted to do was sleep after traveling for 12 hours, I must have hallucinated him wandering in the direction of the men's bathroom, and when I didn't see him come out again, I panicked. Yeah, he was beside me the whole time.
  2. Almost starved my children. By almost starved, I mean, the plane itinerary said 'Marketplace Meal' for our longest flight, so during the layover I told them I wasn't spending money on food since it was included on the next flight. 'Marketplace Meal' means you spend $8 on either a 6" Italian sub and some Sun Chips or on a fruit and cheese tray with 2 packs of crackers and 3 wedges of cheese. So, $16 later on the plane, the kids were fed, and I'm cussing the airline for not explaining that to me, because a $2 cheeseburger from Burger King at the airport would have done my kids just fine...
  3. Realized that a king sized water bed is *not* big enough for me, my 6 year old and my 8 year old. Between the rolling around, the cover stealing, and the grinding teeth, this momma is ready for a bed all to herself.
Things have not been smooth at all. My household shipment didn't come in on it's guaranteed date, but I still have to pay them (stupid snow in the midwest). In the first 6 hours of being in my home, the cable guy stole $700 out of my purse. And now, here I am, been back for not even 4 days now, and I'm sitting at my old work place, knowing deep down I can not come back to work here, but if it means putting food on my kids' table, then sobeit.

I have, however, had some amazing times since being back already. You really find out who your friends are when the shit hits the fan in your life. And, for the readers who have been with me a while, yes, I moved back to the drama-ridden place I moved away from 6 months ago. Has the drama hit me yet? Came up and bitched slapped me across the face after being home for about 48 hours (metaphorically speaking, of course, I didn't go and fight anyone), it did. Some people.... well, I'll just stop there. Some people. Y'all know what I mean.

I've kept a smile as much as possible, and will keep on trucking. The moving truck comes tomorrow so I finally get my stuff, the babies start school tomorrow, and then the serious job hunting starts. Yay me!

I promise to either steal internet from my neighbors, sneak into the shop and borrow their computer for a few, or go ahead and get internet (another added expense, though), so I can keep you all updated and hopefully laughing your asses off right with me! In the meantime, have a glass of wine for me, or a valium....

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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Today's the Day!

I apologize that I've been MIA lately; the MIA-ness is going to be just a little longer. Today's the Big Day- 10 hour day of travel, a total of 5 hours of layovers, and keeping my fingers crossed that the weather in the east holds up for our plane to land and us to get safely to our new home. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate snow?? All of this with a 20 year old who has never flown, 2 kids who don't remember flying, and a cat in tow. Someone, please meet me at my layover spots with valium or vodka. I'll need it.

I promise to post as soon as I can, so keep checking back! I tried to set up Blogger mobile, but Sprint is stupid and doesn't recognize it. So no crazy airport pics as I'm enroute. Damn it!!

So wish me luck, and keep my family in your thoughts today that we remain safe and happy. Today's the first day of the rest of my life.....

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Women's Talk Wednesday: Starts with an 'SL', Rhymes with 'Huts'

Okay, ladies, it's another Women's Talk Wednesday, and there's been a subject burning a hole through my mind lately- Sex. But, I want to get a little more specific than that in today's post.

I will be entering the world of single momhood here soon, the dating scene, the whole 9 yards of BS in my opinion. At the moment I have no want or desire to date. I'm just at a point in my life that I need to deal with my past discrepancies and take time out for myself. But it doesn't mean the thought hasn't crossed my mind of the day I will decide to throw myself back out there in the ocean of singles. And there's one thing that bothers me so much about having to do that-


Yep, you read that right. I'm worried about having to "compete" with the sluts of the world, and ladies, you know there's a lot of them out there. So today I want to cover what constitutes a slut, and what to do about them...

We've all seen them. Those girls at the bar or club, dressed in practically nothing, rubbing up on one guy, then another, and you know she's not going home alone at the end of her night. My question, from a woman's standpoint, is why? What's the purpose of being 'that girl'? Sure, we can assume she has daddy issues, or low self esteem, but what exactly is the appeal of going home with a complete stranger, letting them see you naked, and possibly never talking to them again? I honestly just don't get it...

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Wineaux 101 (Guest Post)

(Today's guest post comes from a family member of mine. You know that one relative at the family reunions that you kinda shy away from when you see them standing in a room? Well, Jon isn't that family member. =) My dearest cousin is currently a stay-at-home-dad to 2 beautiful girls, married to a Kraut {he told me it was okay to put that, lol}, and is starting to make his way into the world of blogging. His sense of humor is untouchable, and his wit and sarcasm are absolutely amazing. I'd love to be able to post a link to a blog of his, but he hasn't gotten them up and running yet, so stay tuned, I'll be sure and post it when he gets them going. I do want to thank him so much for helping out by doing a guest post for my blog- this is his first blog post, so I'm popping his blogging cherry, hehehe. So, without further adieu, I present to you all Jon the Wineaux.)

I used to sell wine for a living. This does not make me a wine expert. Wine has been around for thousands of years, and very few people are experts at it. The few who are experts are called sommeliers and make a metric buttload (1 metric buttload = 2.2 American buttloads) of money because of the rarity of their knowledge. That being said, here are a few things I have picked up in my time dealing with wine:

  1.  WINE IS FUN!  A lot of people are afraid of trying wine or experimenting with wine because there is a mystique surrounding it that it is the drink of rich people, it's too complicated, etc.  Now that wine is sold everywhere from bait shops (I'm not kidding) to grocery stores to plant nurseries (still not kidding), everyone has access to wine, and, given the huge variety of wine and number of winemakers, you can find a wine you love in your price range (more on what your price range should be in the next bit).  As for being complicated, I'm going to help you with that.  Don’t worry, I’ll speak slowly and avoid big, wine-y words like vinification, malolactic fermentation, oenology, etc. (etc. is the abbreviation for the Latin phrase et cetera which translates as “and a bunch of other stuff”).  I’m not dumbing anything down because I have low expectations of my audience; it’s just that the wine world has remained exclusive by adding a lot of pomp (but no circumstance) to its terminology.  As Johnny Carson once said, “Never use a great big word when a little dirty one will do.”