The Black Hole. If you look at the definition in the dictionary it gives you two possible definitions. They are:
- object in space: an area in space with such a strong gravitational pull that no matter or energy can escape from it. Black holes are believed to form when stars collapse in on themselves.
- place where things get lost: a place or thing into which objects disappear and are not expected to be seen again.
Now, you didn't really think this was going to be a post on space did you? Well its not! The black hole I am referring to is my vagina. Yes folks I am! I'm going to go where no man cares to go. Well, I'd like to think my husband does but I'm talking about when it's that time of the month. And I know for sure he doesn't go anywhere near me when Aunt Flo is visiting!
I just need to know if I'm the only one that finds herself in the bathroom, getting ready to change her tampon and discovers she can't find it! How does that happen? I mean where does it go? (Hence the Black Hole) The thing is, I know I've put it in there and it hasn't even been there that long. (Please, do not send me any literature about toxic shock, I've read all about it!) I mean for crying out loud, do I need to send a search party in there to help find the dam thing? Crap, do I call my husband in here? No, if there's one thing I remember my mother saying it was, "Meg, remember, there are some things better left unsaid, you do not need to tell your husband everything!" Do you think this counts as everything? On second thought, maybe she said, "you don't need to tell everyone everything!" Too late for that mom! At any rate, my husband is a surgeon and he's seen more things than one should see come out of areas that I won't even mention. I'm afraid he would never look at my vajajay the same way!
Well shit, I better get the mirror. Oh dam, I better lock the door before a kid runs in here screaming. Now, what on earth are the kids doing out there? I hear the kids fighting and the dogs are barking. Is that the doorbell I hear? It sounds like World War III is breaking out and it's right on the other side of where I'm trapped in my own war. Are you serious, I can't concentrate! "Mom!" Don't answer them! I can't answer them! Don't they know I have my own crisis in here? It's like my own personal missile crisis right on the bathroom floor!
Whew, well I am glad to report the missile has been deactivated and I did not need to call in the troops. Ok, I didn't call my husband and before I wrote this he had no idea of my troubles. Let's hope he doesn't feel a need to read my blog today!
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