Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Women's Talk Wednesday: The Black Hole (Guest Post)

(Today's post is from Megan, over at 1 Funky Woman. From the first post of hers I read about shaving versing waxing, I was in blog-love! She is one of those moms that embarrasses her kids because that's her job, and talks about the imperfect facets of life that many other people won't even mention- see now why I fell in love with her blog??? She is an amazing woman with whom I clicked immediately, and I'm thankful to her for helping me out by writing a guest post for The Inklings of Life!! So go check her out, Inklingers- you'll fall in blog love, too...)

The Black Hole. If you look at the definition in the dictionary it gives you two possible definitions. They are:

  1. object in space: an area in space with such a strong gravitational pull that no matter or energy can escape from it. Black holes are believed to form when stars collapse in on themselves.
  2. place where things get lost: a place or thing into which objects disappear and are not expected to be seen again.

Now, you didn't really think this was going to be a post on space did you? Well its not! The black hole I am referring to is my vagina. Yes folks I am! I'm going to go where no man cares to go. Well, I'd like to think my husband does but I'm talking about when it's that time of the month. And I know for sure he doesn't go anywhere near me when Aunt Flo is visiting!

I just need to know if I'm the only one that finds herself in the bathroom, getting ready to change her tampon and discovers she can't find it! How does that happen? I mean where does it go? (Hence the Black Hole) The thing is, I know I've put it in there and it hasn't even been there that long. (Please, do not send me any literature about toxic shock, I've read all about it!) I mean for crying out loud, do I need to send a search party in there to help find the dam thing? Crap, do I call my husband in here? No, if there's one thing I remember my mother saying it was, "Meg, remember, there are some things better left unsaid, you do not need to tell your husband everything!" Do you think this counts as everything? On second thought, maybe she said, "you don't need to tell everyone everything!" Too late for that mom! At any rate, my husband is a surgeon and he's seen more things than one should see come out of areas that I won't even mention. I'm afraid he would never look at my vajajay the same way!

Well shit, I better get the mirror. Oh dam, I better lock the door before a kid runs in here screaming. Now, what on earth are the kids doing out there? I hear the kids fighting and the dogs are barking. Is that the doorbell I hear? It sounds like World War III is breaking out and it's right on the other side of where I'm trapped in my own war. Are you serious, I can't concentrate! "Mom!" Don't answer them! I can't answer them! Don't they know I have my own crisis in here? It's like my own personal missile crisis right on the bathroom floor!

Whew, well I am glad to report the missile has been deactivated and I did not need to call in the troops. Ok, I didn't call my husband and before I wrote this he had no idea of my troubles. Let's hope he doesn't feel a need to read my blog today!

Check out her blog, 1 Funky Woman

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  1. As always a great post Megan..hahah
    Hugs and kisess to you both

    Ps: I am hosting a beautiful Garnish party supplies GIVEAWAY today :) ...Just in time for Valentine’s Day!

  2. Oh my, whew sound like you escaped near disaster there. Glad you didn't have to call in the troops! Love the little cartoon woman you selected to illustrate how you were feeling. I have days like that-

  3. LMAO! Megan...I love you. I too have a Black Hole, mostly because because 4 space invaders have crawled out of it, but I digress.
    I'm one of the lucky ones who no longer has to deal with the hide & sneak of the tampon because I have a broken uterus. YAY!
    Yep, no more periods for me...not in two years. But still enough hormones to send shockwaves into Cuba when needed.
    Just a hint for next time, though, take a dip in a bath...don't they always seem to slip out in water? Something about the soakage. Just sayin'. LY girl!

  4. Seriously! I am in LOVE! This is me EVERY MONTH! And I am so glad that you blogged about it. I tend to blog about bodily fluids and I think it turns alot of people off. But hello....everyone has the same problems, just some of us are willing to talk about it so freely! Isn't it refreshing though.

    True story...I sent a pic of my poo today to my parents. Yup...I told them that they could print it off and put it in their safety deposit box.

    I loved this post!