Today, I'm putting my Friends on blast here on my own blog. Yeah, that's right, it's my blog, so I can do whatever I want. Neener neener. I will not divulge names to protect the identities of those I'm talking smack about, and yes, I will be forwarding this blog post to each of them. Hehehe, this is going to be FUN!!! So sit back, and enjoy the glimpse into the people who
So, we'll start out with Z. Remember above when I mentioned that person you feed one day and they never really go away. Yeah, that's Z. Z and I are 9 years apart. By modern society's standards, we honestly should have nothing in common, but we really are amazing friends. I first met Z when she was dating the apprentice at the tattoo shop I worked at. I needed a babysitter one weekend, and he piped up and said his girlfriend loved kids and even helped out at a daycare once. My kids took to her immediately, and when I returned from my (failed) date, I brought her some Marble Slab ice cream and tried to pay her $20 for the night. She took the ice cream, smiled, handed me back the $20, and plopped down on the couch, eating her ice cream like it was made of magical unicorn poo and fairy dust. We've been friends ever since. She even up and moved 2000 miles away from her home and her family, to help me out in my new life. Awesome, right?
So, you might wonder what the dynamics are between friends who are 9 years apart. That all can be explained just by our morning routine:
Me: (pulling off Z's covers and practically jumping on the bed) Wake up, hooker.
Z: Shut up, slut.
Me: (placing a cup of coffee in front of her fan so the smell swarms toward her) I have coffee....
Z: (perks up in bed) Coffee? I loves you. Now gimme.
Me: (placing cup of coffee on her dresser a good 4 feet from her bed) Nope, you gotta get out of bed to get it. Come to the living room when you get up.
Z: You're such a hooker. I'll be there in a sec.
Me: (walking out the door) Loves you!
Z: Loves you, too, Ma! [yes, she calls me 'ma' as a joke, even in public. We get stares...]
Not everyone knows our 'hooker' and 'slut' calling is our way of showing affection for each other. We carry this banter on even on our Facebook walls, until Z's grandmother blasted me for being disrespectful to her granddaughter once. We explained it to her; everything's cool now. But Z and I have the relationship where we are honest as hell with each other, even if it hurts. She'll tell me when I'm being crazy, and help me out with being more crazy when I need it. We'll snap at each other, walk away, and come back for hugs and cuddles (non-lesbian cuddles, for clarification) an hour later after we've both calmed down. We can have a few drinks at night and she'll take away my phone so I don't send a text or make a call to start an alcohol induced argument, but then after a few more drinks and my reasonings behind wanting to start an argument start making sense (probably because of the alcohol), she not only hands me my phone back, but proceeds to drunk text or dial the person I'm currently wanting to pick a fight with. It's amazing, and she's a true friend.
|This is neither J nor I, lol....|
But I do tell each of them I love them, because I do, so much. They are my family.