Tuesday, December 27, 2011
In my last post, I covered how my kids' dad was able to come home for Christmas. Complete surprise to the kids, they haven't seen him in 10 months, and I've been contemplating sharing the video with the world (but I'm one of those crazy overprotective mothers who doesn't want her kids exposed to the masses- I'll think some more on it because the video is just too amazing). He was only able to stay for 2 weeks, and is gone now (hence my 2 week hiatus from blogging), but his visit made this Christmas the best ever, for a few reasons.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Slight background needed, huh?
For those that have followed me from the beginning, you'll know this year has a been a year from hell. This time last year the kids and I were in Arizona, living with their dad, my husband of (then) 11 years, though we had been separated prior to that for 2 1/2 years. Things didn't work out there, and in February, the kids and I moved back cross country to South Carolina where I still owned a home. From there things fell apart even more, and the kids and I now live in Virginia near my family.
Yes, I moved 4 times in one calendar year. Moving sucks.
So, the kids have not seen their dad since February. Please don't go thinking I'm a mean, horrible bitch for taking our kids 2000 miles away from their father. Don't judge unless you know the whole story, and seeing as I'm not going to throw extreme details about my life out there on the internet, you'll just have to trust me that it was a mutual decision and what was needed to be done at the time.
Where was I? Kids. Dad. February... there's my train again, lost it for a second.
Friday, December 9, 2011
10 Best Gifts for Single Moms (Tatted Mom Style)
- An Alarm Clock. And a loud one. One with a huge snooze button, too, so we can hit something first thing in the morning and not get in trouble for it. Something with pleasant music to wake you up, not that annoying 'Wah wah wah wah' over and over again that makes you want to slap an elderly person just hearing it. Wake me up with ocean waves that gradually get louder... no, wait. That will make me run to the bathroom quickly. Okay, maybe sweet chirping birds... damn, will want a B.B gun then. Okay, not a morning person at all here, so just an alarm clock that works. One that gets me up so I can shower, get ready for work, get my coffee, get the kids up, get them ready, fix breakfast, head to the bus stop, then get myself to work, don't forget the conference call... ahh, gotta love mornings.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
I have the day off from work, and in the back of my mind I've had this voice saying, "Blog... now... blog... now." I have all these ideas rolling around, and then my phone goes off; I have an email from the email address I only use for my blog. What's this? The Inklings of Life has been selected as a winner of the ecollegefinder.org's Top 115 Parenting Blogs Award???? WOOOOO HOOOO!
The excitement, the honor, the.... oh crap, really? I won?
I read my congratulations email from them, and one sentence seemed to stick out in my head. "Your blog stood out amongst stiff competition and is now featured on our site as a recommended parenting resource for our readers."
Whoa... The Inklings of Life is now a recommended parenting resource???
I have to say I almost peed my pants with giggling and excitement... and horror.
I'm a single mom who says whatever I want; my give a crap filter broke many years ago. I have made so many amazingly bad decisions in my life it's not funny (short of drugs, prostitution, printing counterfeit money and smuggling illegals across the border- crap, I did consider that as a means of making money for a half a second when I lived in Arizona, damnit), and I have this constant worry that years down the road I will be bailing my kids out of jail because now, in the present, I took my son's video game privileges away for a weekend and it created this black hole deep down inside of him that festered for 10 years into this monster kleptomaniac that wants to steal video games from the store. Or that by making my daughter dress like the 9 year old that she is instead of the 16 year old hooker all of the clothing lines seem to want to turn her into nowadays, it is going to cause her to rebel and run away from home because 'Mommy's too strict.'
And my crazy antics, worrying, and warped, truthful philosophy on parenting is now deemed as an acceptable resource for parents???
May the gods have mercy on everyone's souls...
No, all joking aside, it's an amazing honor to have won this award. It means I must be doing something right with my blog, and people appreciate the craziness and straightforwardness they get there at The Inklings. I promise you all I won't change a thing- you'll still get the truth, the good, the bad and the ugly of parenting, and twisted advice on topics only I would cover. Hell, this award just may have added fuel to my ever-growing crazy fire.
So, considering I'm now deemed as a socially acceptable parenting resource, here's a few helpful parenting tips- Tatted Mom style, of course:
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Available for hire for the 2011 holiday season, with possible expansion after the first of the year~ Stick Removal R Us.
What is this new business, you ask? Yard maintenance? No! Trash business? No! Recycling center? No!
Have you ever been out shopping and get into a checkout line, and the person in front of you is haggling over $1 price difference?
We can help!
Do you work in retail during the holiday season and come across customer after customer that complain about every little thing in hopes of trying to get something for free?
Give us a call!
Have you ever sat and waited patiently for grandma to load the bags into her trunk, get into her car and start backing out of that parking space that you have been waiting for, with your blinker on, for 5 minutes, just to have some rude person pull into the parking spot at 90 miles an hour before you?
Jimmy's Gun Shop can help you with that, but give us a call first!!
Stick Removal R Us specializes in removing those huge sticks that some people seem to have stuck up their asses.
Yes, you read that right! And it's about damn time, isn't it?
Thursday, November 24, 2011
This year, I'm thankful for:
- My beautiful family. Without them, I don't know what I would do. My kids are amazing, my sister has helped me out so much, and my mom and dad have shown me that they will always support me no matter what I do.
- Having a job. It may not be much, and causes me stress from hell, but I'm lucky to have moved to an entirely different state this year and had a job waiting on me.
- Not having killed anyone at my job. New trainees, bitchy customers- so far they have all been saved. That doesn't mean it's not coming, but for right now I have not buried any bodies or needed to buy a wood chipper.
- My amazing friends. They cry with me, make me laugh, vent with me, tell me when I'm being stupid, and most of all have my best interests at heart... or what they think should be my best interests. Their hearts are in the right places... I think.
- Not being where I thought I'd be at this time of this year. Not many details needed, but when I think about how my life was supposed to be right now, and take into account everything I found out to be the truth, I'm happy I'm not there anymore. Best decision I ever made.
- My DVR box. Seriously. I can tape all of my shows and watch them when I actually have time. Makes for more amazing nights when I have insomnia, or for a better day off from work.
- Coffee. Enough said.
- Not having killed anyone in the past year. I know I covered this in #3 above, but that was job specific, which is completely warranted this time of year- I work retail at Christmas time. But overall in my life, with everything I went through, I'm thankful I didn't kill anyone. Kinda makes me sad I didn't, because the world wouldn't have missed certain people, but I'm thankful I took the high road and didn't kill anyone. I wouldn't have made it in prison. I'm too girly.
- My blog and its' followers. I know I haven't been around much, but you all have stuck with me and continue to check on me and make sure I'm not dead. I am thankful to have a place to share my crazy antics, and thankful to have people who appreciate those crazy moments!
- Building bridges. I burned a lot of bridges this past year, some that were warranted, some that were not. I'm thankful that I was able to mend the ones that didn't need to be burned to the ground. As for the ones that did need to be blown up, I'm thankful the fire has finally burned out from them. I was tired of getting burned.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
eCollegeFinder Top Parenting Blog award. This honor actually comes at an amazing time in my life, because I've been thinking of going back to college in the spring to pursue a paralegal degree. Funny how life works sometimes.
In my acceptance email, they asked me for a few words of advice for their student parents. Considering I've been giving thought myself to returning to school, this question had an easy answer...
Find your happy place.
This advice is true to anyone, no matter if they are a parent, a student, a student parent, Santa Claus, the squirrel outside my patio doors, but it's especially true to anyone trying to juggle different things in their life, the way we parents have to do. Being a parent is hard enough. There is always someone counting on you for something, and that's not just until they are 18 and we can take the duct tape off of their wings and let them fly away if they want to (with a huge leash attached to their feet, of course). That's for the rest of your life. From the moment that child is birthed, you are 'mommy' or 'daddy' forever. Eternity.
My eyes just bulged out of my head for a minute.
From day one (and more for us women-folk who had to carry the child for 9 months prior to squeezing a watermelon out of a baseball sized hole or being sliced open from hip to hip) you become a mentor, food provider, cuddler, taxi service, referee (if there are multiple little ones), doctor, teacher, psychologist, maid, chef, and the list goes on. That's enough to make anyone go crazy, but then a select few of us decide to better ourselves and our family by returning to school and adding 'student' to that ever growing list of labels we have as a parent.
So now, we're not only googling our 4th grader's math homework (don't tell me you've never done it), but our own homework, to have that paper written and submitted via email by midnight...
Sunday, November 6, 2011
I work in photography during the day; One of those cookie cutter portrait studios with the major advertising in every parenting magazine you pick up. I love my job, I do. I get to work with kids all day, I get to "capture memories" (part of our slogan I think, or used to be, so that's why it's in quotations), I get to be artistic, and I get to be the crazy ass lady with bright red hair that tickles herself with a feather duster to make herself sneeze to get the kids to laugh. Yep, that's me.
I've noticed, though, the number of kids nowadays that don't smile. Not even the smallest little corner of the mouth upturned.... nothing. And I'm not talking about the kids that are scared to have their picture taken or scared of strangers. Those kids are in another category themselves, a category we know how to deal with. No, I'm talking about, well...
The Zombie Children.
That's the only way to describe them. They don't say a word, do exactly what their parents tell them to do, sit, stand, lay down, and never change the expression on their face. Blank look in their eyes, eyes glazed over sometimes, looking at me like I'm the biggest idiot on the face of the earth for trying to make them smile. These Zombie Children aren't limited to an age bracket either. I'm seeing them as early as 9 or 10 months old, all the way up to 11 or 12 years old. No matter what I do, they refuse to smile. Even a little. And we have tricks that we use- lots of tricks. And when I've used every trick I know, and not a single smile has occurred, that's when the parent tells me, 'Oh, by the way, little Sally never smiles. She's very mature for her age and takes life a little seriously.'
GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK, SHE'S 3!!!!!
So, can someone help me out with this? Do I not need to be drinking the water in this area or something? What in the hell makes kids who are supposed to be full of life, full of energy, enjoying being a kid, a zombie? No emotions, no life, no anything????
The parents. There, I said it.
Sorry to say, but one way or another, the parents are to blame on this one. There is no way that a 1 year old has no personality at all. Or a 3 year old for that matter. And definitely not a 2 year old. They are supposed to be full of personality and a zest for life (more commonly called The Terrible Twos). So, either the parents have stifled the kids' behavior so that their personality doesn't come through, or, probably the more common answer, have the kid on medication.
And here's where the good stuff starts....
Friday, October 21, 2011
I am me, and that's all I will ever be, and well, I like me.
What caused this huge ground breaking thought for me? I posted a link to my twitter account on my personal facebook page, and my crazy ass cousin told me he prefers my twitter to my facebook because it's more 'free-form'. That's when I realized that whenever I have a random thought pop into my head, it goes onto my twitter, immediately, anything from whether it's worse for it to be raining actual cats and dogs outside or slugs, to my sister making me head to Wal-Mart in my lounging clothes and no shower, to how sick the world we live in is because my icing filled donut was empty.
And that's when the epiphany hit me.
I'm random. I'm crazy. I can be funny at times. And it's all me, and I love it.
So, today I want to re-introduce to you all me, Tatted Mom, Morgan, Mama Morgan, Morgasm... and whatever else I have been called in my life (minus all the dirty ones, thank you).
- I'm the mother of 2 beautiful kids, a 9 year old daughter and an almost 7 year old son. My daughter's teacher told me tonight she is an amazing little girl and I should be proud. My son, well, I'm thankful he's gotten through the throwing chocolate milk across the room phase he went through a few years ago, and he's a genius with legos. Seriously, he can build anything.
- I'm 30 years old, dye my hair every 6 weeks religiously to cover the gray, use anti-wrinkle cream just in case, and still try and dress like I'm 25. Not in a slutty way, but a 'cool, hip' way. I'm pretty sure I just look like a moron.
- I'm a comma whore. I use them all the time, even if they aren't needed, because, well, when I want you to pause when reading my posts, I make sure you have to pause.
- I prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate, and let's face it- white chocolate isn't a chocolate at all. It's kidding itself, and whoever eats it, too.
- I watch shows like Dexter, American Horror Story, Big Bang Theory, The Walking Dead, and Ghost Adventures. Wow, it wasn't until I wrote everything out that I truly saw how creepy my weekly programs are.
- I'm a grammar nazi. Seriously, if I could take a red pen to everything in this world, I'd be a happy person. And one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is bloggers that not only don't have any type of grasp of the English language, but don't hit spell check before they post. And 'there', 'they're' and 'their'. Please look them up before you post. I beg of you.
- I'm thinking of going back to school to be a paralegal. I was told one time that I waste my investigative skills on catching men cheating on me, and that I should put it to a use that makes me money (true story, I swear). So, I've actually been giving it some thought. It's either that or I use my sneaky skills and become a ninja. Either way works for me.
- I drive a bright yellow car. Like, seriously yellow. It's been dubbed the 'mini school bus'. But, hey, I figure as long as I'm driving the bus, it's all good.
- I cuss... a lot. I blame it on having been a tattoo artist for 3 years of my life, in a shop of guys. Or, it's just because sometimes 'shit' describes exactly the situation or mood I'm in.
- I share a bedroom with my 22 year old sister. Two twin beds. Just like a dorm room. Yes, you read that right. I am 30 years old and sleep in a twin bed. With a teddy bear. Judge me. Please. You try moving back home and starting over, again, at the age of 30.
- I enjoy talking in accents. Russian, British, it really doesn't matter. My sister and I carry on entire conversations in accents. In public. Yep, we're *those* people.
- I hate snakes, so, I have one tattooed on me. I hate spiders, so, I have one tattooed on me. I hate assholes.... what? You think I have one of those tattooed on me? What's wrong with y'all??? You think I'm that crazy? Sheesh. Well, you're wrong.
- I don't like Star Wars. There, I said it.
- I have been called a 'crazy bitch', and a 'psycho bitch', been asked by several people in my life if I've ever been committed, and have been accused of taking a baseball bat to a car before. What do I say to all these people? The 7 other people in my head and I think I'm just fine, thank you.
- I collect witch bottles. Actually, I collect just about anything having to do with witches. So, this time of year I go broke, and the decorations stay up all year round. My eclectic decor has gotten some strange looks over the years, but it all makes perfect sense to people who really know me.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Walking around the dollar store I began to notice just how many things you can get now for $1. Scary things (and I don't mean because it's Halloween time). Questionable things. Eyebrow raising things. I took a picture of one of the items in the dairy case (yeah, some dollar stores have those now), and that's what started the hunt. My sister and I tore through the dollar store, giggling, searching for things that just made me go, 'What the hell?' And honestly, I couldn't believe the 12 things (grouped into 8 categories) I found that you can now purchase for $1...
1. Unreal Sourcreme
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
|Our 3 Zombie Kittens|
- When the kids are hungry, feed them. I have watched the Zombie Kittens run up to Mama Bones and tackle her to the ground to nurse. At first she used to fight them for a few minutes. Understandably so, considering she just fed them an hour ago. But considering there are 3 of them and 1 of her, they band together and get what they want, quite aggressively at times. So, she's now learned that, if the kids are hungry, she better not argue.
- If the kids are in danger, it's perfectly acceptable to pick them up immediately and move them. I wouldn't recommend carrying them by the back of their necks in your mouth to do so, but whatever works, right? Mama Bones had 3 different hiding places for her kittens while they were still young. And when they started becoming mobile, she would pick them up, yes, by the back of their necks, and take them back to the hiding spot for protection. It just reminded me that yes, I'm bigger than my kids, and yes, I can use force if necessary.
- If the kids are fighting, leave them be. They'll work it out eventually. As I type this post today, I have a pile of ginger and black and white fir next to me on the couch biting each other's ears and putting their paws up to fight. Where's Mama Bones? Asleep in the kitchen floor. The Zombie Kittens aren't killing themselves, so, until it comes to that, just let the kids be kids.
- Let the kids explore. We live in a small apartment, but the kittens have now covered just about every inch of it. Mama Bones sits back, usually on top of a chair or a coffee table for a better view, and lets them explore. Those tools over there in the bucket are pointy? Go ahead, you'll only sniff it once. That ottoman that you just had to climb? Go ahead and figure a way down from that since you didn't want to listen when I told you it was too high. If the kittens are in danger, Mama Bones will revert to #2 above, but if they aren't in danger, she figures let them learn things for themselves.
- Sometimes only a Mom will do. Bones usually lets the kittens play whenever they want to. She'll watch, sleep, go eat, head to the litter box, have her Mommy Time. But then one certain meow from one of the kittens, and she's hauling ass back into the room. We humans in the house know that meow by now, too. We know that's the 'I want my Mommy' meow, and it doesn't matter if we try and cuddle them, or see what's wrong, they just want their Mommy. And she knows it, too, so we just back off and let her cuddle her babies.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
(As a disclaimer before I continue on with this post, my kids are not, nor have they ever been on any type of narcotic or illegal drug. The term 'crack' is used for humorous purposes only, to fully illustrate how my morning went. So put down the phone call to child services and sit back and enjoy this candid post.)
I was woken up this morning, 30 minutes before my alarm clock, to the sound of my children laughing and playing in their room.
I was immediately torn.
Sure, the sound of children laughing and playing was amazing, and I was proud of the fact that they could entertain themselves and not come and wake me up 30 minutes early, but seriously, it was 7 in the morning. I haven't even gotten out of bed yet, much less made it to the kitchen to even smell coffee.
Then I hear it.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Then reality hit.
Money got extremely tight, I was feeding 2 kids, trying to keep a house clean, and running my own business. So, in an effort to save money, we switched to highly processed foods that were cheap and low on nutrition.
Big mistake. Huge.
Honestly, my kids' behavior went uncontrollable. They were always hyper, wouldn't sleep at night, pretty much acted like psych patients who had a free day pass.
Then my oldest started school. At first she wanted to buy her school lunches. Okay, fine. Then I went and ate lunch with her at school one day. I was paying $1.50 a day for a turkey sandwich with lettuce, a cup of jello and a milk. Wtf?? Oh hell no, if her lunch is going to cost $1.50 a day, I'm gonna make it count.
So, I started packing her lunch everyday. Fresh carrots with ranch dressing, peanut butter and apple slices, goldfish crackers, sliced cheese and crackers, applesauce, sugar free pudding, animal crackers, granola bars, and 100% juice.- a combination of any of these items could be found in her lunch box on any given day. Then she came home one day pretty upset.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
"Mommy, since you're off today, can we go to _________, do _________, make __________, see _________, spend money at _________???".... and the list goes on.
I just want to be lazy on Sundays. Is that so wrong? Here soon I will be working on Sundays (thanks to being a photographer and Christmas season coming up), so yeah, this Mommy just wants to stay in her pajamas and play on the computer, or watch TV....
But then, whining kids aside (who apparently believe I crap money, because even if I didn't want to be lazy, I definitely don't have the money to do much of anything on my days off), I start to think about how I need to buy groceries, pay that online bill, clean out my car, get gas, make dinner....
It never ends, does it?
Typical Sunday conversation between my daughter and I, which yes, happens just about every Sunday:
"But Mooooommmmmmm, we're bored...."
"Boredom is a good thing, honey. It makes your brain grow..."
"That doesn't make sense, Mom. You just want to be lazy today."
"Yes, honey, Mommy does want to be lazy, but being bored means you have to use that thing in your brain called an imagination. The more you use your imagination, the bigger it grows. So, Mommy is helping you out by being lazy today."
"I know what an imagination is, Mom, but there's nothing to do."
"We can go to the grocery store later..."
"Sweet, can we get...???"
"No, we can't."
"But you didn't even let me ask for what I wanted."
"I know, honey, the answer is still no."
"Then I don't want to go to the grocery store."
"Fine then. If you are so bored and you want something to do, go clean your room."
At that point, my daughter gets a funny look on her face, disappears into the back of the apartment, and a little while later I hear her and her brother playing ninjas, or school, or building skyscrapers out of Legos.
Imagination kicks in real quick when there's work to be done, huh?
As for me, I need to make a grocery list, clip coupons, shower at some point...
Wait, is that an island oasis I see? Me, deserted beach, ice cold endless Bahama Mamas, the sun warming me while my feet are in the cool ocean water...
Thursday, October 6, 2011
- They wake up precisely at 6:26 in the morning. How do I know this? Because their alarm began going off that early this morning. It's one of those annoying ones that goes 'Beep, beep', pauses, 'Beep beep', pauses... Thanks for the free wake up call and all, but this is NOT the Holiday Inn Express. I'm not due to wake up for another hour.
- They are HUGE music fans. I mean BIG. They start playing music at 9 in the morning (though it's 7:30 now and I'm hearing something from up there... no, wait... that's cartoons), and don't stop until 11 at night. BIG music fans. In fact, I should check and see if maybe Jay Z is the tenant upstairs, or maybe Eminem himself, because seriously, who blares music THAT loud for THAT long that isn't trying to promote themselves or make money off of it somehow.
- Around 2:30-3 o'clock in the afternoon they get really active, maybe because the kids get home from school around 3:30-4. I'm thinking there's either a spider on the ceiling they are jumping on the bed to try and kill with a shoe, or maybe it's some spiritual meeting, because every now and then I can hear 'Oh God'. But, whatever it is, it only lasts about 10 minutes... must not be that entertaining.
- I'm pretty sure they are training for a marathon, because they run from one end of the apartment to the other in the evenings, over and over again.
- They prefer to do laundry on the weekends, in the evening times. And whatever laundry detergent they use smells amazing. I must ask them sometime...
- Someone in that apartment takes a shower at the exact same time I do in the mornings. It always freaks me out for a second, because I think, 'Wait, if I take a shower now, my hot water will run out quicker.' Then I have to realize that each apartment has it's own water heater, so... yeah. I usually haven't had my coffee at that point in the morning.
- Dinner is usually around 6 at night, sometimes a little later, and because they keep their balcony door open, you know, so everyone can hear the music they are obviously promoting, when I'm sitting on my porch I all of a sudden start wondering if my sister has taken it upon herself to start cooking dinner. I get excited, because it smells amazing. Then, I head in to my apartment to find nothing cooking. Son of a.... fooled again.
- They enjoy action movies at night, you know, stuff with explosions, intense music, fight scenes. Either that, or they like to blow things up in their apartment. I'm gonna go with the TV making all those noises, though, to save myself an anonymous tip to a home security hotline.
- Every once in a while they invite either the 500 lb beared lady, Bigfoot, or a clown with big shoes, over. Like right now, it sounds like Bigfoot is helping them train for that marathon. Good gracious I hope it's soon, because they need to give it a rest.
- They don't argue much, in fact, I hardly ever hear them actually speak to themselves. I hear the kids every now and then, but as far as human to human conversation, there's barely any. Oh my gosh, it just hit me... they are robots...
Sunday, October 2, 2011
What are your opinions on vlogging? Do you, as a blog reader, even bother to click on videos uploaded to your favorite blog? Do you prefer blogging to vlogging? For those that have a vlog, do you see that it adds to your blog at all? And, as my readers, would you even be interested in watching me spout off about things, true Tatted Mom style??
Can't wait to see your replies!!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
This post, too, while great for anyone who comes across it, is meant more for women, as ladies, I will be speaking woman-to-woman to you all through it.
A few weeks ago my life fell apart. Everything that I thought I knew about my life went up in flames because of one simple carnal act (not on my part, to clear that up). What I was left with was feelings of hurt, betrayal, confusion and doubt, and with nothing to do, nothing keeping me in that town, I chose to leave it all behind and move back home with my family.
But first I tried to forgive. I tried very hard. Why? Because I loved the man I was with, mistakes happen, and I have one of the biggest hearts known to anyone. It wasn't hard... at first. Then, after a few days, the paranoia set in, the craziness, the severity of the situation settled in the back of my mind, the questions, the doubt... and, well, I lost it. After losing it, my next step is to run... now you know my grieving process....
In a very short amount of time, I processed everything in every way imaginable. I flipped this switch inside me and became the cold hearted bitch- not that I really was one, but that's what I had to show everyone on the outside. Inside I felt dead, like nothing would ever grow there again. I cried... a lot. I drank... a little because, well, my alcohol tolerance has gone way down in the past few months. I got angry and said exactly what was on my mind, no matter how hurtful or what the consequences could be of my words. I gave up. I gave in. I turned my back and walked away. I wondered what I had done wrong, what I could have done differently. That's when it hit me....
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
But the day is coming around again for me to start. I'm starting life over as a single mom, with my kids and my sister living under the same roof, right now with just the income as a part time sales associate to pay the bills. So, I'm rising to the challenge again, this time, to feed 4 mouths on about $200 a month. Yeah...
Now this is where the "Through Tatted Mom's Eyes" part comes in, because you all know I can't just write an article on how I'm going to accomplish this enormous feat I have ahead of me. I'm gonna lay down extreme couponing, from a realist's view...
Monday, September 26, 2011
So, now that that's all cleared up, we can get on with today's post. I figured it would be an easy one today, to ease back into blogging on a regular basis (I now have interwebbies at my apartment!!!) To refresh your memory, earlier this year I had a post, Quick Rantings of a New Single Mom, where I jumped online real quick and gave a Tatted Mom style update, to start the ball rolling on my fans trusting that I'll be around again. So, in tradition of that (and seriously, how many times am I gonna go through this?) we have Quick Rantings of a New Single Mom Part 2 (and again, seriously, it's actually pretty effing funny if you pull up this post in one tab and the part 1 in another tab, but keep in mind they are written 7 months apart after another huge life change)...
So, my family and I made it safe and sound back to where it all began for me; I grew up in Virginia, and after messed up marriage and messed up relationship, I came back home to family. I'm currently in between jobs (sounds SO much better than unemployed), with 2 prospects on the horizon, 1 tattooing again and 1 back to work at a photography studio. I have my babies with me, including Zombie Kitty and her 3 babies, no friends this time because, well, all I need right now in my life is family... seriously.
In my first 48 hours as a made again single mom, I successfully:
- Lost my son at the gas station. Deja vu, right? Yeah, my son has a little bit of a bladder problem, so when he informed me in the middle of our 5 hour drive that he had to go, I pulled over at the first gas station. He took off out of the car and ran inside, straight to the men's room. Well, normally my ex-boyfriend would have gone into the bathroom with him, and not giving a lot of thought to how he wasn't there anymore, I just went and used the women's bathroom. Get done with my business, and wait outside of the men's bathroom. 1 minute... 2 minutes... a group of men come out, I stick my head into the door... no ginger boy. Panic sets in, I run through the gas station, outside to the car to find my son sitting in the back seat playing with the kittens. I cried, hugged him tightly, and explained to him what he did that scared mommy so much, and how he was going to the women's bathroom with me from now on. He doesn't like me being a single mom any more than I do...
- Channeled Martha Stewart for our first starting over home cooked meal... NOT! How about box mac and cheese and a salad? Yep, that's what I had the motivation for.
- Realized a queen sized sleep sofa is not big enough for me and my sister, nor is it conducive to my back problems. The thing is, by the time we get everything set up correctly, I'll be sleeping in a twin bed... how depressing is that? 30 years old and in a twin bed... needless to say, dating is nowhere on my plate in the future...
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Just what the world needs... more Zombie Kitties. Bones became the proud mother of 3 zombie kittens late Friday night, and a fourth one early Sunday morning. Unfortunately the runt, one I named Crossroads, didn't make it, may he rest in peace.
The remaining 3 zombie kittens, and mama Zombie Kitty are all doing quite well. We have 2 orange tabby ones and a black and white one (mine).
Everyone needs to take cover once these babies turn 6 weeks old. Nothing better than a pack of Zombie Kitties roaming the earth....
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I just wanted to do a quick update to say I haven't abandoned Inklings again. I'm going through yet another major life change which will more than likely have me as a truly single mom at the end of it. So, bare with me until I can get things straightened out and I will be back into the groove of things...
Monday, August 29, 2011
- Pee at work. Or at Walmart, or the grocery store. The more places outside the house that you can use the bathroom, the better it will be when you get back to the house and everyone has to use the restroom all at once. It’s Murphy’s Law, and it does happen with 6 people in one house. So, if you have taken care of your bodily functions before you get home, then you will not be one of the ones fighting to get in the bathroom, or doing the pee-pee dance while you wait in line. If you are comfortable, by all means complete other bathroom business outside the house, too, because there is nothing worse than entering the only bathroom in the house after someone has blown it up, because of course the spray air freshener is empty- happens every time. And no matches in sight. Sheesh. And all I had to do was pee…. Damn.
- Come up with a shower schedule and stick to it. For us, I shower in the morning before work, Charlie showers when he gets home from work, the kids line up and shower one by one while dinner is being made, and the 17 year old… well, he has the house to himself during the day, so I’m assuming he showers then… Hmmm…
- Paper/Rock/Scissors EVERYTHING. It’s democratic, fair and you can’t cheat at it. I don’t care if the question is who gets the last biscuit, who takes a shower first, or even who cleans up the cat puke. And this goes for all ages. The two adults, an adult and a kid, a 3 way rock paper scissors between the kids- it applies to any scenario, any age group. Start implementing immediately, and don’t let the 6 year old tell you that his fist with his thumb sticking up is a bomb and that destroys everything. They’ll try it, I promise.
- Make grocery shopping a game. Tell the kids, whoever can bring me the cheapest jar of peanut butter is the winner. Now go! Sure, the kids are running through the grocery store like chickens with their heads cut off, but what they aren’t doing is staying under your butt saying, ‘Mommy, can we get poptarts’, ‘Mommy, the kid that sits next to me at lunch has Doritos, can we get doritos’, or ‘Mommy, you just bought gourmet coffee, that’s not fair’. Grocery shopping goes so much quicker and with less of a headache this way, and depending on the questions you ask them, it’s also a learning experience. Now, this of course would not work if you had younger kids, but I figure two 9 year olds and a 6 year old is okay for going down an aisle or two from me at a non Walmart store.
- Parks are your best friend. They are free, you can head to the dollar store and get some Frisbees or bubbles that will entertain for hours, and the kids get to run around like crazy and will crash when you get home. Can I get a hell yeah??
- Shop based on sales, and the dollar tree is always a plus. The dollar tree has toilet paper, pasta, tomato sauce, cookie mixes, paper towels, cleaning supplies, etc, that are pretty decent, and it’s the only place where we’ll buy snacks. Having munching food for 6 people is expensive everywhere else, but not with dollar tree pretzels and cookies. And if you check out sales on meat right before you go shopping, you can plan your weekly meals around what your MVP or bonus card has on special. It saves wonders on the grocery bill. I tried extreme couponing for a while at one point; it worked like hell. I need to get back into it, but without reliable internet it’s hard to do your planning.
- The public library is your 2nd best friend. Free books, free movies- sure they are old and probably scratched as hell, but there’s no better time to introduce your kids to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or some low budget Princey the Green Dragon movie. And our library has the entire series of Murder She Wrote on DVD… talk about an instant cure for insomnia, all for free!
- Implement an earlier bedtime, pretty much for everyone. My kids used to go to bed around 9, but now with a full house, they head to bed between 8 and 8:30. Why? So that the adults can have time to watch a movie or whatever before we head to bed around 10 or 10:30. Trying to stay up until midnight to get some adult time in when you have to wake up at 5:30 the next morning is not feasible day after day. The kids usually talk and stuff after they go to bed, which is fine with us as long as they stay in their beds. And I get to breathe about 30 minutes to an hour earlier everyday, now. Collapse on the couch and let out a sigh of relief. It feels amazing. So amazing I usually pass out shortly after starting a movie. Yeah, defeats the purpose, I know.
- There are certain things you should splurge on, no matter how tight money is:
- The Redbox is your 3rd best friend. $1 a night for movies, hell yeah. Easy, cheap entertainment for the whole family. And, if you didn’t already know, new movies come out on Tuesdays, and if you download the Redbox app to your phone, you can actually reserve the movies, from your phone, as soon as they come out. And be sure to enter your email address into that section of your checkout instead of hitting ‘no thanks’. They email you codes for free movies. Damn free is nice.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Okay, stop your laughing. I can hear it…
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
deal? is anyone gonna kill me for not having been around? were you all even worried? never got any search parties out lookin for me, but then again i am sure you all are just as confused about where in the hell i am in the world now as i am lol.
so, keep a look out, as i am coming back with a vengence. five months of ideas to get out. holy mac and cheese....
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
If this is your first time venturing to The Inklings of Life, then you've come at a great time. Hell, about 6 months ago was a great time to be here, too. I was winning awards, on the track to being a pretty popular mommy blog. Then life threw a curveball. It's still my goal though, promise you that. But head through the archives, check out the Readers Favorite Posts; you'll see that this was a pretty crazy place to hang out- and once will be again. =)
Amidst all this chaos, establishing a routine and creating some normalcy around here has been my top priority. I have a 45 minute (one way) commute to work everyday, which has given me tons of time to think, and the question popped into my head recently of 'What the hell is normalcy?' I mean, look at the word itself- it even looks abnormal. I've spell checked it a dozen times already- an 'l' then a 'c'? I thought maybe for a second I had made the word up, and my spell check was just laughing at me for entering in a word that doesn't exist. But it does. 'Being within certain limits that define a normal range of functioning.'
Hold up. I was taught in the first grade not to use the word itself in the definition... Oh how times have changed, I guess.....
Sunday, April 3, 2011
I'm not sure how the twitter thing completely works, but you all can head to twitter and find me at tattedmom81. =)
Bare with me while I get this techonology crap figured out, please!!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
How do women do this? I'm new to this whole Single Mom thing, and it's just pure insanity. Maybe it's because I haven't gotten my babies on a routine yet, maybe it's because I've only been doing this for almost two months now, but good gracious does it ever get easier?
And dating? HA! When is there time, or energy for that? I'm thinking it'll be a while before my poor vag sees the light of day again...
I know this post isn't much. I do apologize so much for not being a regular part of the blogging world. I think I'm gonna see about getting some internet today so that I can lay in bed and post regularly once again.
Just stay with me, Inklingers. I'll be back into the swing of things soon, I promise!!!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
'Mommy stole what, sweetheart?'
'The cream cheese. Sissy said you stole one.'
Ahh, time for a crash course in sales and couponing, I see. And, for a little lesson in morals, too, I soon realize.
Money is tight right now; really, really tight. In fact, the money I currently have isn't mine; thank goodness I have friends who care about me. I don't get my first paycheck until Friday, and it will be for one day of work; probably a measly $60-$80. Two weeks after that I'll only be getting a half of a paycheck, because I'm only doing training right now, which means I'm getting around 20 hours a week instead of 40. So, my first full paycheck, and finally some normalcy and routine in my life and my kids' lives, won't come until April. In times like these, you do what you need to. No, that does not mean steal cream cheese. I'll explain, just as I had to do with my kids, because at the moment, they had some radical idea built up in their heads and Mommy wasn't being painted in a great light.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
But now I'm feeling fine; took my hit of the blogging world. Ahhhh, feels like unicorns and pixie dust...
So anyway, an update post, Tatted Mom style. I guess I'll start by thanking 'Motorola', who, by my calculation is probably the house across the street and to the left, on the corner, because, without their unsecured internet connection (that we can only pick up in the front left corner of my house- my bedroom, yay!), this blog post (and probably future ones for a while) wouldn't be possible. So, thank you 'Motorola'. Your signal might be 'low' to 'very low' most days, but it's enough for me to keep my readers happy, and keep me from paying for internet at the moment. A huge help. I'll bake you cookies once I get my first paycheck.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
In my first 24 hours as a single mom, I successfully:
- Lost my son at the airport. By lost, I mean, he was curled up on the bench next to me, but being that it was midnight and all I wanted to do was sleep after traveling for 12 hours, I must have hallucinated him wandering in the direction of the men's bathroom, and when I didn't see him come out again, I panicked. Yeah, he was beside me the whole time.
- Almost starved my children. By almost starved, I mean, the plane itinerary said 'Marketplace Meal' for our longest flight, so during the layover I told them I wasn't spending money on food since it was included on the next flight. 'Marketplace Meal' means you spend $8 on either a 6" Italian sub and some Sun Chips or on a fruit and cheese tray with 2 packs of crackers and 3 wedges of cheese. So, $16 later on the plane, the kids were fed, and I'm cussing the airline for not explaining that to me, because a $2 cheeseburger from Burger King at the airport would have done my kids just fine...
- Realized that a king sized water bed is *not* big enough for me, my 6 year old and my 8 year old. Between the rolling around, the cover stealing, and the grinding teeth, this momma is ready for a bed all to herself.
I have, however, had some amazing times since being back already. You really find out who your friends are when the shit hits the fan in your life. And, for the readers who have been with me a while, yes, I moved back to the drama-ridden place I moved away from 6 months ago. Has the drama hit me yet? Came up and bitched slapped me across the face after being home for about 48 hours (metaphorically speaking, of course, I didn't go and fight anyone), it did. Some people.... well, I'll just stop there. Some people. Y'all know what I mean.
I've kept a smile as much as possible, and will keep on trucking. The moving truck comes tomorrow so I finally get my stuff, the babies start school tomorrow, and then the serious job hunting starts. Yay me!
I promise to either steal internet from my neighbors, sneak into the shop and borrow their computer for a few, or go ahead and get internet (another added expense, though), so I can keep you all updated and hopefully laughing your asses off right with me! In the meantime, have a glass of wine for me, or a valium....
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I promise to post as soon as I can, so keep checking back! I tried to set up Blogger mobile, but Sprint is stupid and doesn't recognize it. So no crazy airport pics as I'm enroute. Damn it!!
So wish me luck, and keep my family in your thoughts today that we remain safe and happy. Today's the first day of the rest of my life.....