Friday, December 31, 2010

2011 Resolutions

Ahh, yes, it's that time of year again; time to make New Year's Resolutions that, in all honesty, will probably last until the end of January. I'm great at making lists, and crossing things off my lists, but as far as big life changes- those I tend to just jump head first into without much planning. Yeah, I've drowned a few times, but it's always just made me a stronger swimmer.

The funny (possibly even ironic) thing is, I have the knowledge and tools to achieve the resolutions I make for myself (we all do, but I cheated a while ago, researched all the different philosophies on it, and came up with my own, simple way). I used to do a workshop when I owned my store, on turning your dreams into reality and the 5 steps needed to reach any goal (for those wondering, it was all completely original, meaning, I didn't read someone else's book and just hold a workshop in it's honor; the workshop and ideas in it were all mine). I had amazing feedback from people who attended the workshop, even some positive follow ups a few months later on how they were achieving their goals, still. Hmm. Maybe it's time to dust off the old workshop folders and give it a look through (possible blog post for the new year???).

Any goal, not just a resolution, is successfully reached when there's a plan of action involved. Simply making the resolution isn't enough. 'I want to lose weight in 2011.' Okay, how? What are you going to do to obtain that goal, to make that resolution concrete? Just stating the resolution doesn't give it enough substance, enough motivation needed to achieve it most times. So, rephrase; 'I'm going to lose weight in 2011 by cooking healthy meals, running 3 times a week and joining a gym.' Now that goal is tangible- you've stated what it is (in the present active form, nonetheless) and how you are going to achieve it. Makes it easier to understand and obtain.

Ahh, yes, the workshop is coming back to me now....

So, here's Tatted Mom's 2011 New Year's Resolutions, as well as my plans for accomplishing them, in no particular order:

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Santa Made a Mistake!!

Yes, these were actually words shouted in my home at 4:30 Christmas morning, by my 8 year old. The story is just too funny not to share.

This year, Santa got the kids a Nintendo Wii and 2 games each. When he came down the chimney Christmas Eve, he just filled the stockings right there at the fireplace, left the wrapped games in front of the kids' stockings, and decided to have a little fun.

Christmas morning my daughter wakes up at 4 am, which, coincidentally enough was the time that hubby, Z and I had pre-selected to be the Go Time; if the kids woke up before the Go Time, they had to go back to sleep, but after the Go Time, Z was to come wake up hubby and I and we would get up. Why not just have the kids come wake us up? Our master bedroom is on the other side of the house from the kids rooms, meaning they would have had to go through the living room to get to us, thus seeing Santa's surprises before Mommy and Daddy are even up- I'm not much on that. So, we agreed that the kids would wake Z up, and she would come get us up, which she did, at 4 freaking a.m.

Coffee was already made the night before (I actually thought ahead on this one), so I turned the coffee pot on and zombie walked my way into the other part of the house to see the kids. I grabbed my camera, and waited for hubby to tell them it was time to come see what Santa left. They came running in, seemed a little disappointed that there were only stockings and 4 little DVD case size presents wrapped and left out, but they tore into their stockings excitedly. Then came time for the games to be unwrapped. My daughter started, and as she's unwrapping, she yells out, 'Mom, these are Wii games. We don't have a Wii....' My son tore open his Santa presents, to find more Wii games, and said the same thing. Then it comes....

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Women's Talk Wednesday- Being 'That Woman'

I've been MIA for a week now, with Christmas going on. Had another bout of blogger's block as well. But, I can't go missing completely when it's Women's Talk Wednesday. I think this has become my favorite day to post!

I've tossed around ideas for today's post that include everything from men to the big 'O', but I think today we are going to tackle a favorite subject of mine when it comes up in chatting with my girlfriends- being 'That Woman'. What does that even mean, you ask? Grab your cup of coffee or your vodka on the rocks, ladies, because today we're talking about being a Bitch!!

So much negativity is associated with a woman being called a Bitch, and I say it's time to stop that negative association. I myself have even been called not just a Bitch, but a Crazy Bitch numerous times in my life, and I embrace it. For one, Crazy Bitches always keep you guessing- sometimes in a good manner, sometimes a bad. But there's never a dull moment with a Crazy Bitch around. Two, it's a great excuse or scapegoat. 'Why the hell did she do/say that? Oh, yeah, 'cause she's a Crazy Bitch.' You can practically get away with murder sometimes. And, ladies, here's a third reason you may not know about. No matter if they want to admit it or not, men love Crazy Bitches. There's just something about a Crazy Bitch that will stick in a guy's head, even long after she's gone.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Women's Talk Wednesday- Makeup

Ahh, yes, one of the perks of being a woman- makeup. Nothing says 'I'm feminine' more than locking yourself in the bathroom, making sure the lighting is just right so you don't come out looking like a hooker, and covering up every line or imperfection with gloppy gooey stuff that will probably melt off within a few hours.Whether you are a makeup wearer, or prefer to go all natural, it's still a topic of conversation amongst women.

I started wearing makeup as a freshman in high school, and went very minimalist with it. Face powder, thin eyeliner, mascara. That was it. Even if I ventured into eyeshadow, it was in the neutral range- brown in the crease, beige on the lid and the brow bone. Somewhere along the line, though, something changed. I'm not exactly sure when my obsession with makeup began, my need to acquire as many different crazy colors of eyeshadow and eyeliner possible, but soon, the makeup monster took over.

Monday, December 20, 2010

You Asked, I Tell....

"The Tattoo is the Mark of the Soul. 
It can act as a window 
Through which we can see inside, 
Or it can be a shield to protect us from those 
Who cannot see past the surface..."  ~Anonymous


With a pen name of Tatted Mom, I get asked about my tattoos a lot. How many do I have, which mean the most to me, what was my first, what is my next, why did I decide to start getting tattoos? So I figured, you all ask, I'll tell.

I was 18 when I got my first tattoo, and wanted one because, well, I was 18 and could get one, and I loved art. I told my mom and dad I was going shopping and drove 45 minutes to a trusted tattoo shop, and got a very small (I only had $50 on me) moon on my lower back. I can remember taking my future brother in law with me (soon to be hubby was in basic training at the time), and I sat there, nervous as hell, squeezing my brother in law's hands, waiting for the first touch of the needle. As soon as the tattoo artist started, I looked behind me, said, 'Is that it?' loosened up my grip, and relaxed.

An addiction was born.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Christmas Confession

Most people have holiday rituals that they do every year (omg, is she blogging about sacrificing goats again?). For some, it's Black Friday, for others it's a certain movie that they watch every year, complete with a cup of hot chocolate and some Christmas cookies. I, too, have a ritual that I do every holiday season, several times during this time of year, that I never thought was bizarre... until this year. Now that my kids are older, and with the introduction of Z this year, I seem to get tons of eye rolling and weird stares as I perform my holiday ritual, and I constantly hear, 'Is mom doing it again?'. What's so wrong with it? It's not that bad, is it? Or, am I just in denial, and through the loving eyes of my family I can see my obsession and now do something about it?

Inklingers, I'm a compulsive gifts-under-the-tree organizer.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

It's a Southern Thing

I'm proud to say I'm from the south. Born and raised in Virginia (it's below the Mason-Dixon line, so we qualify as southern, thank you), I've lived in the backwoods of my wonderful home state, in North Carolina and in South Carolina. I lived in England for 3 years in between North Carolina and South Carolina, and currently live in Arizona. Talk about culture shock for me, moreso with Arizona than even England. This western thing takes some getting used to, and yes, I understand I'm still in the southwest, but there are big difference between the south and the southwest. If you've never lived in the south, it's definitely something worth trying- at least visit. Most people never forget their trips to the south.

Common stereotypes of the south include everyone being country bumpkins and uneducated, all food is smothered in gravy, racism is everywhere, the women are sickly sweet to your face and a bitch behind your back, everyone carries guns, everyone goes hunting, religious fanaticism, and they're all Republicans. Of those statements, I can say that those stereotypes are false, true, semi-true, definitely true, semi-true, semi-true, semi-true, semi-true and false. Ha! You thought I was going to say they were all false, huh? No, I'm being honest here. The only two of those that are definitely false are the uneducated one and the Republican one, though I'm still arguing with myself on the Republican one.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Women's Talk Wednesday- Hair Removal

So, unless you are of French descent or lived through the 60s and are trying to bring them back, hair removal is a part of being a woman. There are so many products out there for 'safer' or 'less painful' hair removal now, tempting us ladies with every commercial that we see. Then, of course, there are the tried and true methods of shaving, waxing, and depilatories, and the more expensive, yet permanent one- electrolysis. Within all of these reliable categories lies a plethora of products to choose from- shaving creams, razors- manual and electric, home waxing kits, salon waxing packages, after shave lotions, bikini and sensitive area creams.... I think my head is going to explode.

Let's start with the new fad 'less painful' ones. The hair removal spray- looks amazing on TV. Just spray it on, wait a few minutes, and then wipe the hair away. Seriously? It's that easy? No offense, but I throw up major flags with this one. Hair removal is never that easy. Isn't it a right of passage to contract a minor staph infection from a shaving wound, usually around the ankle or back of the knee area? So, girls nowadays can just wipe their leg hair away, painlessly, with minimal effort? Something's wrong with this one. If this spray is strong enough to just melt hair away, couldn't it just melt your skin away after prolonged usage? Show me studies, please, hair removal spray company. If you can prove to me without a doubt that my skin won't ooze off of my bones after using your product for a year, I'm game.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Tatted Mom's Guide to Catching a Child Liar

"Mom! Um, my brother just said a bad word. He was trying to tell me a joke, then he said the 'F' word," is what my daughter came hauling into the living room to tell us yesterday. Hubby immediately called my son into the room, and his interrogation began. My son, of course, said that his sister was lying, and that she just wanted him to get into trouble. Thus the problem any parent eventually faces- catching the real liar.

My husband's method is simple. Stand his ground, ask the same question over and over again, and eventually pull out the 'If you tell the truth, I promise, you won't get in trouble.' Wait, deja-vu...

I was 16. I had my own car, and a job at the local grocery store to pay for said car. And, I was a smoker. (Gasp, I know.) I used to hide my cigarettes from my parents in between the seats in my car, but for some reason one day, after picking up a friend of mine for school, and driving around having our final nicotine fit before the grueling 7 hours of school, I decided to put the pack in the glove compartment. Apparently, that same day, my new insurance card came in the mail, and my dad, being a good samaritan, decided to drive up to the school, and just put the new insurance card in my glove compartment for me while I was in class, because I had to leave school that day and head straight to work. Yeah, you know where this is going....

Monday, December 13, 2010

Ok, So Don't Hate Me....


... But I'm stumped. Writer's block like a mo fo. I prepared for the day this would happen- sat around one night and made a list of 'Blogging Ideas'. Yeah, helpful that was. I am currently staring at my list of about 10 topics or so, rolling my eyes. Who really wants to hear about my Least Favorite Chores, or a Pregnancy Experience right now? I sure don't feel like writing about them. One day, but that day is not today.

So I sit here, picking my nose (well, not my nose, actually- I fidget with my nose ring a lot, and it looks like I'm digging for gold. The little bugger is always stabbing me.), staring at the Christmas tree, then the ceiling, over to Zombie Kitty who is sleeping peacefully on the couch (makes me want to go wake her up- it's a horrible compulsion I have), back to the ceiling, finally to my laptop screen, wondering if anyone else goes through this. I love blogging; it's the part of my morning routine I look forward to. Cup of coffee, the buzz of the laptop fan making sure my laptop doesn't overheat and shut off on me, the thrill of having the ideas in my head come out so beautifully, with humor and shocking moments sprinkled in. Ahh, it's a rush.

And then there are days like today. I don't think all the coffee in the world could get my thought train on it's tracks....

Friday, December 10, 2010

I'm Too Young for This.......

I'm going to set the scene for you. It's bedtime, last night. After having watched an amazing movie and one of my favorite TV shows, I'm extremely exhausted from not having gotten much sleep the night before. So, I zombie-like drudge off to the bathroom to splash water on my face, brush my teeth, and head to bed. I'm slightly bent over the sink, running water on my toothbrush, when I glance up for a second... a second that changed my life forever. Staring back at me in the reflection of the mirror was not one, not two, not any less than a dozen.....

Gray hairs! 

In a panic, I called out to C to come here right now, as I pretty much smashed my face to the mirror, picking through the atrocities. 'What's wrong?' I hear from the bed. What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?????  I go running into the bedroom, grab the bedside lamp, shove it to my head, and say, 'THIS is what's wrong.'

'I don't see anything.'

'HOW can you NOT SEE ANYTHING?? THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!!!'

He gets a little closer. 'What are everywhere?'

'THE GRAY HAIRS!'

'No way. You don't have gray hairs. Let's go into the bathroom with better lighting, because I don't believe you.' (You mean, the bathroom I tried to get you to come into when I was first panicking? THAT bathroom? Urgh.)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Holiday Position Now Available!

Now hiring for the holiday season, with possible permanent job placement after the holidays: Someone dedicated, hardworking, and honest, to be my Holiday Bitch Filter.

Job Description: This person will be responsible for following me around and making sure I don't do or say anything too bitchy this holiday season. We can discuss, in the interview process, what your methods of being my Bitch Filter would be, but I am not opposed to such techniques as:

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Women's Talk Wednesday- Birth Control

Let's admit something right now, ladies. Birth control should be up to us, shouldn't it? We're the ones that will have to carry a child for the next 9 months if the method fails to do it's job. So, I think that means we should be able to choose which one suits us the most, right? Right!

Now, most of my readers are married, like me, so the topic of birth control coming from an old married lady might be weird. Not really, when you think that even married couples want some sort of control over their family structure. I have come across a few families in my time that 'leave it to God', and end up with a bunch of kids (anyone seen 18 Kids and Counting on TV? She might be up to 19 by now, I don't know....), which is fine for them. Me, personally? No thanks. I have a boy and a girl; that's good for me.

So, when you are like me, something needs to be done to help control the procreation aspect of sex, so it can be more enjoyable without worrying if there will be another mouth to feed down the line. There are many forms of birth control, with pros and cons to both. Here's my take on the many different forms:

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Dreams 101

I woke up this morning having had a nightmare right before I woke up. Not the zombies chasing me, end of the world apocalypse type of nightmare, but the type where you wake up thinking, 'Great, like I needed *that* on my mind.'

I used to do a lot of research on dreams; hell, I even used to do a workshop on dream interpretation when I owned my store. Dreams occur for a few reasons:

Monday, December 6, 2010

Daily Family Planner

I tend to have a one-track mind. Once I start something, that's it; everything else kinda gets put on the back burner until that thing is done. I've always known this about myself, but every now and then the reality of my blinders hits me. The most recent focus of my time and energy has been my blog. I get up in the morning looking forward to getting the kids off to school, grabbing my cup of coffee, and blogging. It's like crack; I post, people comment, I check a few times a day to see that I have a new follower or two- more people to make laugh and share my craziness with- wooo hooo!! Now I need to have an epic post, draw more people into my chaotic world, get their feedback, so I research for future blog posts. What can I say tomorrow that will knock their socks off? Maybe make coffee shoot out of their nose in laughter. (I'm not aiming for that to happen to any of my Inklingers, but if it does one day, please share. I might pee my pants in excitement that I made coffee shoot out of someone's nose, and I'll be sure to let you know I peed my pants to share in the embarrassment.)

Something had to be done. My addiction was taking over. I was still getting the housework done, the laundry, remembering to pick the kids up from school, but I was doing things like checking books out from the library, keeping them for 3 weeks with only having read 16 pages and renewing them for another 3 weeks, because my free time was spent on blogger. I fell behind on some of my TV shows, too, in keeping the laptop up and running after the kids went to bed. It's great to have a hobby and all, but having other outlets is good, too.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Mommy TLC Featured Mom Interview at 4pm EST~ Tune In!!!

Just a reminder that my interview as Featured Mom Blogger for December with Paola at Mommy TLC is today at 4pm EST. I'm so excited, nervous, and happy! I hope everyone can tune in!!! The link to the interview is below!

BlogTalkRadio with Mommy TLC

Decorating the Tree with Zombie Kitty

I think this one should go....

Friday, December 3, 2010

Tatted Mom's List of 10 Best Gifts for a Stay at Home Mom

I've read so many 'Top Gifts for Moms' articles it's not funny. Yahoo has them featured, Google, Amazon has their version, and that doesn't even begin to cover the blog articles out there covering what people should get their moms for Christmas. While I agreed with parts of many of the articles, there wasn't one I found that not only covered SAHMs exclusively, but hit the nail on the head for moms in general. So, 'Challenge Accepted' (in the words of Barney- who's a 'How I Met Your Mother' fan??) of writing a SAHM Christmas gift list, and I threw the whole 'Tatted Mom's List' thing into it, so you know it's not one of those same old, same old lists!

*Disclosure* No one has paid me a damn thing to write this article. So no actual items featured in this article were sent to me, or the company didn't pay me to say their product is amazing. I am using Amazon to help feature some of them, but it's more for easy linkage and pictures- s me time. =)

10 Best Gifts for a Stay at Home Mom (Tatted Mom Style)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

My Hit List

I woke up this morning in a very interesting mood. Wouldn't quite say bad, but wouldn't say good; very much in need of coffee and for the kids to *not* have problems with shoe tying or hair or whatever outfit they chose to wear today- Strike 1, Strike 2, Strike 3. Damnit, I just need to go back to bed.

The kids made it to school, I'm 1/2 way into my cup of coffee, and for some reason, all that's running through my head this morning is my Hit List- not my favorite songs or shows or movies, not the blogs I have to go read each day, but a bonafide Hit List- who or what I would take out if I had the money and the means (and no paper trail, of course).

Yeah, like I said, one of those mornings. So, I will not try to tame the beast that is screaming in my head this morning. I will succumb to it's will, and share with you all my current Hit List (please don't use this against me as evidence in a court of law....)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I'm the December Featured Mom Blogger on Mommy TLC!!!


When I got the email a few weeks ago from Paola, creator and editor of  Mommy TLC, about being the Featured Mom Blogger for the month of December, I cried- literally- I'm an emotional bag when it comes to things like that. While crying, I ran through the house screaming, 'Someone wants ME to be their featured blogger of the month', waking hubby and Z both up (kids were in school). I was ecstatic, to say the least.

I've been a member of Mommy TLC pretty much from the day I started blogging. It's an amazing place to meet other moms, find more blogs to add to my daily reading list, post discussion topics I would like advice on, and post my blog articles to reach out to more readers. From the day I joined, Paola has been so supportive of me and my blog, it's been wonderful. She and Mommy TLC have become part of my virtual family.

Women's Talk Wednesday

I was sitting around thinking about future blog posts last night, and realized that yes, I'm a Mommy blog, yes, I'm a family blog, yes, I'm a tips on home/parenting/cooking/life blog, but, I'm also a Women's blog. When do I get to talk about the *fun* stuff? Just throw it in between posts about amazing pot roast and the hilarious thing my 6 year old said today? No, no. We moms are women first and foremost, and every now and then we need to be reminded of that, not just of being little Johnny's mom, not just Billy Bob's wife, not the crazy lady who comes outside in her robe and throws the newspapers back at the delivery boy in the morning because he can't quite seem to get them out of the bushes and onto the porch; We are Women, and we need that Women's Talk every now and then. So, grab your cup of coffee (or vodka, depending on the time of day), and sit back, because today is the first Women's Talk Wednesday, and we're talking about.....

Boobs