Friday, November 19, 2010

Let's Go Hunting Daddy


I realized I've had something stuck in my head for a few days. Today's the day to get it out.

Hi, everyone. My name is Tatted Mom, and I'm a Grammar Nazi. There, I said it.

Admitting it is the first step, right?

Grammar, punctuation, spelling- it all drives me up the wall!


Oh, and that comes with another confession. Uh, this one is hard for me to admit. Let me take a deep breath first, stretch my fingers a bit so I can be ready to type this.....

I'm a Comma Whore.

Oh, it feels so good to get that out there. I love commas. If I am ever in doubt, I stick a comma in for pausing effect. (Grr, 'affect' and 'effect' are my nemesis- more on that later...) I love to have my thoughts clearly portrayed, so, when I read my post before hitting 'publish', if I paused in my head, you get a comma. Are all of my commas necessary? Probably not. Oh, well, I love them!

So, I'm a Grammar Nazi and a Comma Whore. Whew, that sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer, doesn't it?

One of my largest pet peeves in the world is grammar- using the wrong 'its' or 'there', or spelling, or punctuation. For the love of *insert personal deity here* USE PUNCTUATION!! Why, you ask?

Let's go hunting Daddy.

Wait, what? Like, hunting to kill? The kids' Dad? Does he get a head start? This woman is crazy....

Try this: Let's go hunting, Daddy.

Ahh, the kid wants to go hunting with their Dad. Makes SO much more sense now....

Punctuation. Exactly.

Found these online and got happy!
Picture courtesy of The Temple of Commerce

Then there's the whole 'its, it's', 'there, their and they're', 'affect' and 'effect', etc. The first two are easy- taught in 2nd grade English class. It just takes a second when you are writing to get those straight. 'Affect' and 'effect' have always pissed me off. I have looked up the definitions of both, of when to use them correctly, and I still don't get it. I've had people explain it to me in words a preschooler can understand- still don't get it. So, I've finally come to terms with the fact I may never use 'affect' and 'effect' correctly. Thus is life.... (The picture to the right is of actual labels I found for sale online. The smart-ass in me wants to buy some right now! I found them at The Temple of Commerce.)


Through modern day technology, spelling should no longer be an issue. Spell check is found on every publishing or writing program out there. So, if spelling isn't your forte, there's easy help for that. Click the button, check the highlighted words, and go from there. It's not rocket science.

Now, with all of these confessions today, you might think I'm one of those proper texters, too. Nope, not me. For the sake of brevity, I will use 'u' for 'you', 'ur' for 'your', 'brb' for 'be right back', 'omg' for 'oh my god', 'LMAO' for 'laughing my ass off', so on and so forth. I don't use 'sry' for 'sorry', 'ttyl' for 'talk to you later' or any of the other extremely shortened forms for much longer phrases; I want the person on the other end of that text to understand what I'm saying, not to have to go google text abbreviations to know that I need them to bring milk home on their way from work.

No, I have never read the book, 'Eats, Shoots & Leaves', but I have heard amazing things about it. Z has a copy of it. I must go snatch it from her shelf and  read it, if nothing else for the self-satisfaction of 'YES!! Thank you, someone understands my pet peeve!'


Most days, my Grammar Nazi personality lies dormant; I can control it. Then, there are some days I'll read an article online and want to bring out my red marker and completely destroy my laptop screen- comma needed there, no apostrophe there, spell check here, period there and capitalize that to start a new sentence. I have to sit on my hands to keep myself from emailing the author and telling them to quit their day job. OH, and handwritten signs. Those are the worst. 'Orange's For Sale'. Who is Orange, and what exactly of theirs is for sale? Oh, you meant 'Oranges For Sale'. Well, that's completely different. Grrr.

My Grammar Nazi isn't a bitch, though. I won't correct people I don't know, unless they bring me something to proofread. Most of the time, too, I won't correct those I know either, because while it's a pet peeve of mine, it's not enough for me to speak up. Some people take offense to it, so I try to let the Grammar Nazi out as little as possible.

I'm so glad I could get this off my chest today. Being able to share my little demons means so much....

In conclusion, today, I have these for you all....

And this is your business???
So glad my kids won't be going there...

SO many things wrong with this one, I have no idea where to start...


So, wait, is it real or fake? I'm confused....


OMG, WHERE IS MY RED MARKER????????







8 comments:

  1. I love this post! :-) I, too, am a comma whore.

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  2. My name was "Grammar Queen" in high school. I love this. I moved to Roseburg and you should see the signs I read. Not to mention, hear how people talk. My husband always says, "I seen it..." AH!

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  3. Absolutely love this, blog hopping has succeeded at last! This post was exactly what I needed today, I'm LMAO atm, ur my nu bff. :)

    Ugh, did I just type that?

    Anyhoo, via the hop, here's my linkie, I'm SO following you!

    http://djpr2001.blogspot.com/

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  4. Hi, I found you through Saturday stalk and I am now following you! Have a wonderful Saturday!

    http://caseysgoodlife.com

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  5. Stopping by from the blog hop. Have a great weekend! I'm with you on the grammar nazi thing! It's crazy what our language has become!

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  6. BTW, I'm following you now, I'm at http://hungrigyrl.blogspot.com

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  7. Following you back and afraid of the RED MARKER!! ;o)
    I HATE they're, their and there, mistakes, and many others. I do have to admit that grammar is NOT my strength, neither is spelling. I find that most of the science teachers I know are the same way! (A little self justification there!)
    Despite my faults, I hope you'll return! Have a GREAT weekend!

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  8. hahahahaha I LOVE your signs! I too am a comment whore. Just like you, when I read my post and pause in my head, that's where the comma belongs. :)

    Following you back!

    www.savingthosedollars.blogspot.com

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