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Monday, December 15, 2014

Offending Teachers, and Chocolate Pie

Apparently I offended one of The Girl's teachers today. Didn't mean to, didn't realize I would, but I did.
Chocolate Chess Pie- Yes please!!

Today I had to finish the last of the paperwork for the kids' online school registration. I figured, since they have 4 days of conventional schooling left, I'd go ahead and write a letter to each of their teachers, giving them a heads up that The Girl and The Ginger weren't returning in January.

One of The Girl's teachers was not happy at all with my letter. She told The Girl that I "was insulting the entire school program" in my letter.

Thanks for keeping your opinion about a 12 year old's mom to yourself, there, adult teacher of my child... (rolling eyes).

The damn letter was 3 sentences long. I must have perfected my skills of offending people, to get it down to 3 sentences.

Here's the letter; y'all can decide for yourselves:

This letter is to inform you that [The Girl] will not be returning to [school] in January. We have decided to homeschool her, and will be formally withdrawing her from [school] and TUSD
following the end of this semester. 

This decision took a great deal of time for us to make, but we feel that both of our children will be able to excel faster and access their full potentials in a school setting that is not part of TUSD.

Thank you,
Morgan Moss

When Hubby read it this morning, even he came back with an "Oh, damn."

So, I'm starting to wonder if I'm just such a bitch now that I don't even realize when I'm being a bitch, or if the letter really wasn't that offensive at all. I thought the letter was simple, straight forward, and was aimed at letting the teachers know that I wasn't unhappy with them, as teachers, but unhappy with TUSD (Tucson Unified School District).

Apparently, the letter was just taken as insulting to the entire school system.

Oops, my bad.

But, let's take a second to touch base on a few things here.
  1. I'm southern. We don't hold much back. If I wanted to outright insult the school system, I would have. After reading over my letter, after Hubby's and the teacher's feedback, I can see how there's a little sting to it- an eloquent sting (that's what we southerners are known for), but nonetheless, a sting. She's lucky I didn't add Bless your heart instead of a Thank you at the end, but that wasn't the intent of my letter. 
  2. Arizona schools are ranked #43 out of 51 (Washington, DC is counted as its own entity) in the nation. In Arizona, Tucson Unified District is ranked 228 out of 355. So, putting my letter aside, this school system is, in itself, insulting. Both of my kids are in the Gifted and Talented programs at their schools, but that only does so much, you know? The only way to fully describe what's going on in my head with this whole scenario is with an analogy... 
All the states in the US are in a pie baking competition. Apparently, New Jersey has the best pie right now, with, hell, I don't know, an amazing triple chocolate chess pie. Arizona is cooking up some liver and onion pie. Sure, it's not as horrible as the skunk meat and rotten potatoes pie that Mississippi is apparently cooking up, but it's not good either. But, of the minced meat pies, my kids' group cooked up the best liver and onion pie of all the liver and onion pies in this area. Still doesn't mean that liver and onion pie is gonna win the entire pie competition, nor does it mean the liver and onion pie is even edible some days. Will it sustain you? Sure. But overall, it stinks to high heaven. So, I'm supposed to be happy with my kids' liver and onion pie, when I know my kids are triple chocolate chess pie potential, and have access to the triple chocolate chess pie ingredients? Oh hell no. I want chocolate pie for my kids.

So, while I do feel bad I offended one of The Girl's teachers (still torn as to why I feel bad- I really shouldn't), I stand by my letter today. It may have been slightly bitchy, but it could have been much worse.

This is why I shouldn't write letters before my coffee in the morning...
Or why I should write more. The jury is still out on that one.

Found out just a few hours ago that my kids have been accepted to an online school, so our ingredients for triple chocolate chess pie are right around the corner. I can't wait!

I love chocolate pie...

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Friday, December 12, 2014

Friday Frenzy- Tales from Toddlerville: The Fecking Elf Came Back

(Today, I'm happy to welcome Serendipity from Mother of Serendipity for Friday Frenzy. When I first virtually met her, and checked out her blog, I couldn't stop laughing. While her writing style is a little of this, little of that, she writes the most amazing- and hilarious- songs and modern nursery rhymes. You definitely need to check her out!! ~Tatted Mom)


Tales from Toddlerville: The Fecking Elf Came Back

So, yeah, Toddlerville has a fecking elf. He arrived last year in a fit of desperation on my part. Trapped at home As a stay at home mom of not one, but TWO rambunctious toddlers in a small NYC apartment, I was game to try anything that might get them to calm down as the holidays approached. The idea of a house elf who would do cute things and inspire them to not behave like lunatics make better choices was undeniably appealing.

Of course, in my fuzzy little daydreams, I neglected to factor in my Boy's monkey-like speed and agility, which are only matched by his natural desire to "examine" ALL THE THINGS. If you can imagine Wreck-It Ralph as a young child, you'd not be far off from my kid. He breaks shite just looking at it.

Which is why our elf Donny didn't do much last year except try to find the highest shelf in the

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Game of War and Banana Smears

I just want to thank Kate Upton for stealing my husband from me.

Thanks to that damn commercial she did for the "Game of War" cell phone game, I haven't seen my husband's face in weeks. And all he talks about are alliances, battles and loyalty.
Pic Courtesy

I swear, he thinks this shit is real.

So this morning, the shit did get real- for him, when it comes to this game. I'll set the scene for you, before unleashing our conversation.

I had just woken Hubby up for the day, and was sitting on the bed, eating a banana beside him. He grabbed his phone, like he does the second he wakes up, and opened that damn game. I was trying to plan our day, but he was balls deep in his phone. I looked at his screen to see what he was reading that was so damn intense, and saw a long message (you can send messages in this game) with a drawing of a chick beside it.

Me: Who's the chick?
Hubby: (reading)
Me: Hello? Chick? Who is she? Chicks actually play this game?
Hubby: It's not a chick, it's a drawing of a chick.
Me: No shit, Sherlock. It's called an avatar. I might not play your nerd war game, but I know
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